Austin and I don’t get to talk often. Sometimes, we are able to Skype. But training, dormitory living and a 3 a.m. wake-up time make it hard for us to connect.
“Austin? Hi!”
“Hey Cal! Is it a good time? You up still?”
“Are you kidding me? When isn’t it a good time? How are you? Did you get my last letter? The one with the hearts in the top corner?”
“Woah darhlin, slow down. One question at a time. Connection’s not great here, as usual. …Yes, I got your letter. Thank you, love. I’ve already started writing back. Won’t be sad to never pick up a pen again. I miss you.” He’s breathless, like usual during our conversations where we try to fit in more than time would possibly allow.
Adorable. “I miss you, too! We are so, so close! Just six weeks now!”
“I know. I can’t wait! How are things going?”
“Good! Julie and I got tons done. We just need to work on favors, do final fittings. Oh, I ordered your tux. Decided on the vest instead of the cummerbund, is that okay?”
“Whatever you want, Cal. I’m sure you’ll fix me up real nice. Not worried.”
“You are going to be so handsome!”
“And you, the perfect bride! …So, listen, I called to fill you in on some details. Graduation is next week. Obviously, don’t bother. Boot camp was enough. They won’t let me leave base until I finish outtake processing anyway, so it would be a waste…”
“But aren’t you going to feel bad if no one is there?”
“Cal, I have you waiting at home. Don’t worry about a thing. You have enough on your plate with Grandma and the wedding. How is she?”
“She’s doing okay. We’ve got a good routine. Still won’t let go of that clicker.”
Austin laughs. “A soldier’s grandma. Guards it with her life. I like it. She did that even when I was a kid. You don’t mess with Grandma’s soaps.”
“Or the ‘Price is Right’!”
“Yeah. No shit. That too. …So, have some good news.”
“What’s that?”
“I passed my welding test. Certification all set. So tell Jason I’m ready for him when I get home. Well, after the honeymoon.”
“Oh, hon. I’m so proud! You worked hard for that. That’s amazing.”
“Thanks.”
“Jason said you’re good to go. He’s got a ton of work lined up.”
“Good. The sooner I can make money, the faster we can get out of Endings.”
Don’t do it. It’s not worth the fight. Plenty of time to decide where to settle down later. Bring it up and he’ll just talk about moving yonder, yonder and yonder ‘til we find whatever he’s looking for. Ain’t worth it. “So I have some news, too.”
“Oh yeah? What’s that?”
“I’m all signed up for classes. Checked with the registrar to be sure today while I was out with Julie.”
“That’s great babe! So much progress on both sides. I can’t wait.”
“I know. It’s hard to believe this is all happening so fast. After so long, too. I had one weird thing happen though.”
“Are you okay?”
“Oh, it’s nothing bad. Maggie gave me a gift card to go see Es.”
“Oh here we go. What did that nut have to say?”
“Stop! She’s nice! Ya’ll need to give her a chance. Your grandmother believes she’s legit. You and Stixx—such doubters.”
“Well, I mean, be serious. What did Es have to say? These Endings folk: Always trigger-happy to butt into things…”
“She said to make sure I don’t forget something blue. And she was like, I don’t know, deadly serious. She said it at least three times.”
“Oh. That’s all? Well, Cal, I don’t even know what that means. Aren’t the wedding colors purple and like some sort of cream?”
“Well, there’s this thing. Haven’t you heard it? Something old, something new something borrowed something blue.”
“Like a superstition?”
“I guess. I mean they say rainy wedding days are good luck.”
“I don’t want good luck then. We need it nice out. The wedding’s outside.”
“I don’t either. But I can’t figure out what I should be doing about the blue. If you heard her you would get it. She was like, really persistent. So I’m wondering, should I change the wedding colors? Maybe blue would bring us good luck.”
Austin laughs and my cheeks redden as I laugh too. I knew he’d think I was being silly and he’s right. I’m glad he can’t see me right now. He’d be giving me shit about the blushing, too.
Finally, he says, “Cal? Buy blue earrings or something. I don’t think you need to be stressing about that. Or tell Grandma to wear a blue dress.”
“Maggie’s dress! It is blue! There! I’m all set! I feel like an idiot. Sorry, babe. This wedding has me nuts.”
“It’s okay. I’m sorry you had to do it all yourself.”
“Well, Julie’s been great. She’s helped me with everything. All is well, don’t worry. You have only one mission, okay?”
“What’s that?”
“Get home soon, safely.”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
I can almost see him salute. In my mind, his dimples are as massive as they were when he was eight years old. I remember him behind the fat maple tree—the one with the pot leaf cut into it—in front of Bear’s lot. He’s peering out from behind it, a rapid-fire water gun aimed straight at my heart: His target. Nothing important has changed at all. And I wouldn’t ever want it to.
4
It’s getting so close now. Today, Julie and I went for our final fittings. My dress looks like something straight out of a magazine. I wish I could wear it everywhere, constantly. Talk about making a scene. The whole thing feels so surreal, totally unlike me. I stay busy to keep me grounded. If I didn’t, I think I’d fly off like the balloons we’ll release for Pappy and Grandma at the wedding. That was Bess’s idea. Sometimes, she’s good for stuff like that. Though, I’m hoping Grandma doesn’t know where the idea came from.
Tonight, I need to call John. I keep forgetting to ask him to walk me down the aisle. I know he’ll do it, it’s just a matter of asking him. I miss my brother. We may be different, but he’s still all I really have left for family now.
He asked me once why I’d even want to get married in Endings. I suspect he’s worried I’ll throw my life away if I stay here. He’s just like Pappy. Calls the people here rednecks and says they’ll always be stuck. I guess I just don’t see it that way. I reckon people do things much different in Orange County. Either way, I want to catch up with Sonya. We haven’t talked as much since Hunter was born. I know she’s busy and often think about what it will be like when Austin and I have kids of our own. I hope they take after him.
John, who actually remembers our momma, says I take after her. I’d rather not think about that and never know what he really means by it. He tells me not to screw up nursing school and that getting so involved with Austin so young was dumb. He says I should have dated around and tried other fish in the sea, so to speak. To me, that’s exactly opposite of Momma, who went through men like Pam goes through combs.