“You can have her.” His eyes have skipped over me as he speaks to Henry like I’m something that can be passed around.
I focus on the floor, my face ablaze with hot humiliation.
“You can leave now.” Andrew’s eyes are filled with victory.
His image wavers and I bow. “Thank you, Master Andrew.” I turn and don’t meet Mark’s eyes who’s ready to escort me out. I can’t breathe as I quicken my pace from the room.
That didn’t really just happen. The moment my feet touch the hall, I’m running. Running from a barrage of emotions that demand I release them.
I can’t.
I won’t.
The air outside doesn’t help my starving lungs. I run until I crumble to my knees. I want to scream. Covering my mouth with my hands, I try to control the flow of pain that oozes from me. When I feel I won’t scream, I dig my hands into the grass and let myself cry.
Voices not far away have me sniffling and coming out of the black cocoon of pain that I’m wrapped in. Through the flower beds I see George talking to a blond haired lady. Their words don’t carry this far. Both of them look up at the house and then they disappear, leaving quickly. I can hear the footfalls behind me and I know I can’t take much more.
“Ella.” Lucas’s voice has everything in me stiffening and I don’t move a muscle as his voice dismantles the wall completely.
CHAPTER THIRTY
LUCAS
“Ella.” She’s kneeling on the grass, her shoulders shaking with silent sobs. I hate what I had to do to her. I needed my father to think he had won. That he had finally bent me to his will.
“I want you to go away.” Her words are controlled and that frightens me. I’m afraid to go any closer. Anyone could be watching.
“I can explain.”
She’s shaking her head. “Please, Lucas. Just leave.”
I tighten my hands into fists. The pain in her voice has me nearly undoing all my work and reaching for her. I remind myself that I’m doing this for her and in the end she will understand.
I leave her and each step I take kills me. She is hurting so bad and I had put all that pain on her.
***
Over the next few days I keep my distance. Hannah never leaves her side and her loyalty to Ella is unshakable. I admire her every time she sees me and cuts me with a look, like I’m the devil himself.
The ball has been moved to tomorrow night. My father had a matter to deal with that he wouldn’t discuss with me. I wasn’t naïve to think that I could freely move around the house without every move I made being watched. So I continue to play my part.
Henry is lying out on the rug on the floor, his chest still. I don’t move away from the stairs as I stare at him. Is he dead? I take two steps towards him and he lifts his head.
“What do you want?” He pushes himself fully up on his elbows. “Well, I do have something you want now.” His grin has me stopping.
“She’s pretty.” He teases and for a moment I’m ready to throttle him, but I refrain from acting out.
“You’re gay Henry. She’d hardly be of any interest to you,” I say with my own smirk.
He doesn’t like that at all and hunches his shoulders like a wounded animal. There is a fleeting moment that I feel so sorry for him and for the first time, I wonder why he is the way he is.
“The day you took me to the maze, why did you do it?” I’m the one feeling vulnerable now, I am talking about something that eats away at me. That can happen when your brother tries to kill you.
He shrugs. “They loved you and hated me,” he says like it is a logical solution to a problem.
“I was eight,” I remind him.
“Maybe.” He sits up now and shrugs.
“There is no maybe about it. I was eight and I was terrified.”
Henry has the audacity to laugh at me. Why did I even come here?
“You have no idea of true terror.”
His words have me looking at him again.
“They never left me alone.” His eyes are wide and he wears a far off look. I think he’s finally lost it completely.
“At me and at me and at me.” He stands now, breathing heavily. His eyes swing to me. “Don’t talk to me about fear.”
Did someone hurt him? “Who?”
He scratches his brow and hunkers. “George and her. I think she’s back.”
Disbelief in his words has me smiling. “George hurt you?” I make sure each word is clear.
“He hates me. They all do.” Henry points at me now. “You hate me.”
Nothing he says is making sense.
“You tried to kill me, Henry,” I defend myself. “My mother is locked up because of you.”
I take a calming breath. I didn’t come here to start this. I don’t want to hurt him when he looks so wounded already.
He’s laughing maniacally and I think leaving now would be for the best.
“Locked up. They can’t keep her away from here.”
I turn back around and my heart starts to beat rapidly.
“They can’t keep her away from you.”
“What are you talking about?” Irritation ripples through me. Is he really losing it?
“It doesn’t matter, they took Declan from me. Now, I just need to keep Alex safe.”
I step into the room and stop only a foot away from Henry. “Stop talking in fucking riddles. Are you trying to tell me that George?” I point at the stairs. “As in George who works for our family, that little old man killed Declan?”
“I don’t want to answer you.” Henry starts.
I clear the distance between us and I grab him. “I’m not eight anymore. I will fucking beat it out of you. Tell me now.”
“Yes, that George.” He pulls himself out of my hold and I release him, my fingers going slack.
“He found out about me and Declan. I know to be careful around him, but he sees everything. I’m sure it was mother’s orders.” He rolls his eyes at the word mother and I’m questioning my own sanity of standing here and listening to this.
“George left that finger up here to taunt me. To let me know they would keep taking from me, because I tried to take you from them.” He looks very far off, like he’s halfway to a padded cell.
“When I was eight?” I ask and I’m aware of how gentle my voice is. I’m not buying into this madness, but a part of me sees the damage. If it’s real what he has suffered at their hands, if it’s not, then my brother needs help.
He looks at me now and rolls his eyes again before pushing his glasses up on his nose. “Are you going to keep bringing up one little mistake I made?”
“I wouldn’t call it little, Henry. You built that maze to trap me.”
He had admitted that before.
He shrugs. “I built it to trap us all.”
“What does that even mean?” My voice rises and he blinks like he sees me for the first time.
“I want you to leave now.”
He glances to his left and I follow his gaze. A gray top hat sits on the floor beside some vinyl disks.
“That’s Alex’s hat?” I say walking over to it. He races over and picks it up, not allowing me to touch it.