“Can we watch a movie and eat junk food?” Emme asks.
“Whatever you want, kiddo.” She ducks out from under his hand when he ruffles her hair, batting it away.
Emme gives me a shy smile. “Can you stay, Kailyn?”
“Oh, uh, I should probably go home.” I thumb over my shoulder, feeling suddenly awkward.
“Do you have to?” Emme bites her fingernail.
“You’re welcome to stay unless you have other plans.” I meet Dax’s inquisitive gaze, his head tipped a little to the side.
I see things there. Things I shouldn’t be looking for. Things I shouldn’t want or like. My focus should be on finding opportunities to ask about work and his firm, not watching movies with him and his sister. But it’s an opportunity to get to know them both better. It could be helpful. And more than that, I think I might like the man I never got a chance to know outside of class in law school, or at least, who he’s become.
“Sure. I’d love to stay. I want one of those ice cream things, though.”
“There’s ice cream?” Emme bounces with excitement and then cringes a little.
I mirror Dax’s smile as he mouths thank you. But my stomach twists with guilt over my motivations for agreeing to stay, and how they’re conflicting with what seems to be happening in my chest.
Chapter Eleven
Firsts
Kailyn
We make it halfway through the movie before Emme passes out on Dax’s shoulder, snoring softly.
“I’m going to take her up to bed,” he whispers.
“Want some help?”
“Please.”
I hold her head still while he slips an arm around her back and one under her knees. He grunts when he picks her up. “This was a lot easier when she was smaller.” He inclines his head to the stuffed llama on the couch. “Can you grab that?”
I nab it, then rush up the stairs ahead of him so I can open her door and throw back her comforter. I leave Dax to settle her in bed, and wander down the hall in search of a bathroom.
I peek in the next door down, flick on the light, and freeze. It’s an It’s My Life fangirl’s dream in there. A barely audible squeal bursts free, and I clamp a hand over my mouth, embarrassed.
I’m standing in Daxton Hughes’s childhood bedroom. And it looks like a shrine to his teen years. A poster of him and the cast of It’s My Life is tacked to the far wall, Daxton front and center because he was the star of the show and the reason every teen girl was glued to her television from nine to ten p.m. every Tuesday night.
I try and fail to keep from bouncing as I cross the room to get a better look. It occurs to me that the cast of the show would’ve been a lot like his family. I wonder if he’s kept in touch with them all these years, and if they have reunions, like high school.
Daxton was such an adorable teenager. My infatuation with him was so consuming. I had all the posters, the DVDs, and of course the album that accompanied the Christmas movie prior to the final season.
I pick up the old DVD case—teenage Dax smirks at me—then exchange it for the Dax Barbie doll perched on a stand, smoothing my thumb over his silky hair. It’s a couple of shades darker than it is in real life.
“You found my mother’s trophy room.”
I gasp and turn, hugging the doll to my chest. “I was looking for a bathroom.”
His smile is exactly the same as it was in college, cocky, knowing, and he points to an open door on the other side of the room. “There’s one through there, but it hasn’t been cleaned in a while.”
I glance around again, taking everything in. “There’s so much stuff in here.”
“That show was my life for a long time.” Dax leans against the doorjamb. “No pun intended.”
“Was it hard when it ended? You must have spent a lot of time with them.” I gesture to the poster of the entire cast.
“I was with them more than my family while the show was in production. Most of us still keep in touch.” He looks a little wistful. I wonder what it’s like to be the center of so many teenage girls’ worlds for such a long time, just to trade it in for some normalcy.
“Why did you stop acting? Was it because It’s My Life ended?”
“Partly, I guess.” He pushes off the jamb and takes a few steps toward me. “After the show, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do anymore.”
“You could’ve taken a new role, though?” I ask.
“Sure. There were options, but it meant committing to a pilot, and if that went well a season, and who knew what would happen after that. It could flop or it could’ve been something that went on for another five years, and I wasn’t convinced I wanted to be locked into that, so my dad suggested I take a year off. Emme had just been born and my parents wanted to travel, so we did some road tripping and I took the time to figure out what I wanted, which was when I decided to go to college.”
“But couldn’t you have gone to college and still acted?”
“Sure, but I didn’t want to spend my life on a set and do everything by independent study. I wanted to sit in a classroom with other kids my own age and learn about stuff I was interested in.”
“You wanted to be normal.”
“As normal as I could be, anyway.” He tips his chin down, noting the way I’m clutching the Dax doll protectively against my chest. “Whatcha got there?”
“Oh, nothing.” I reluctantly put the doll back on the shelf where I found it, instead of tucking it under my shirt like I want to. Unfortunately it keeps falling over, so I’m forced to adjust the arms and legs.
“You can have that if you want. You can have anything you want in here, actually. I’m pretty sure we have boxes of the same stuff in the basement. My mom didn’t like to throw out the memorabilia.”
“It’s okay. I probably already have it anyway.” I clamp my mouth shut, aware I’ve said too much.
Daxton’s grin widens. “Oh yeah?”
“Probably in a box in my closet with the rest of my high school stuff.” The Daxton doll—different from the one I was just hugging—is still in its box, because it’s a collector’s item. The DVDs sat on my shelf for the longest time. My mom and I used to watch the holiday movie every year when I was a teenager, and after she passed, I kept up the tradition, at least until the end of law school. Then they were all packed away with the memorabilia as well.
“I could sign whatever you have, if you find it, I mean.”
“Really?” I cringe at how excited I sound.
Dax’s smiles again. “I think it’s interesting that you have a thing for the teenage version of me but you’re not all that fond of the real, adult version.”
“Well, the adult version has been a bit of a jerk, but I’m starting to warm up a little now. Besides, that show brings back good memories. I used to watch it with my parents and my girlfriends. I associate it with a time in my life when things were simple.” I’m so defensive. “I should probably get going. It’s late.”
I try to slip past him to avoid further embarrassment, but he blocks the door. “Wait. I’m sorry. I’m not making fun. Well, I am, but only because I’ve missed riling you up like I used to in law school. I’ll stop. Just stay awhile longer and have a drink with me? Please.”