“What?” I laugh nervously at the way he’s looking at me but not really seeing me.
“You still haven’t had a shower and I find myself not caring in the slightest.”
I snort and slap his arm. “Is that another hint?”
“No, I suppose I’ll get used to it.” He kisses me once more, slow and languid with a small amount of tongue. “Go to sleep.”
“Yes, sir.”
As my eyes close, he cups my face with one hand and runs his thumb over my lips. “Don’t kiss him again, Gwen. I won’t forgive you next time.”
My breath catches in my lungs as I open my eyes to stare at him and a small wave of fear flashes through me at the thought of losing him. “Why forgive me this time?”
He frowns, thinking on it for a moment. “You’re the first woman, the first person I’ve ever loved. I’ve waited for you for three years. I’ve watched you in the arms of my brother when you should have been in mine. I’ll not lose you to another Caleb over a kiss. You’re mine; I’m yours. I can forgive you once, but not twice.” His body tenses and his head goes to my neck. “I won’t share you and I won’t chase you. You deserve better, but if you choose me, I’ll not allow you to look for better.”
“I’ve already chosen you.” I frown, feeling the need to reassure him.
He shakes his head and leans over the side of the bed. He raises Caleb’s picture and my heart starts thudding in my chest. “No, if given the chance, you’d choose him again in an instant. Eric and I would be forgotten.” He places the frame back on the bedside table and stares at it for a moment. Tears burn the back of my eyes at the reality of this situation and his words. I don’t let them fall. He turns back to me and taps my temple. “You’ve chosen me in here.” His hand moves to my chest and rests over my heart, beating steadily against his palm. “But there’s little space for me in here.”
“Nathan, that’s not…”
“True?” He cuts in, his brow arching and a smile teasing his lips. “Isn’t it?”
I remain silent. There’s nothing I can say. “I do love you.”
His eyes slowly close and his forehead drops to my collarbone. “And I you, and for now that is enough.”
“And in the future?”
“In the future,” he says, looking back into my eyes as his hand plays with a lock of my hair that rests across my breast, “I will want more. I won’t be second best to my brother forever, but my love for you at the moment will allow it. I’m not completely heartless and, as unbelievable as it may seem, I miss my brother too, so I understand your reservations.”
I can only agree with him; he’s right. He deserves the world and not just the love I can give him.
“I’m going to begin opening the store once my new furniture arrives,” he whispers, resting on his back and pulling me onto his chest. He’s not satisfied until I’m sprawled across his front almost entirely. “I’d like you to help me design the layout.”
I snort. “Don’t ask me, I have terrible taste in décor.”
He chuckles and kisses the top of my head. “Yes, I saw the work you did in the house you lived in with my brother.”
“Don’t be mean; we loved it.”
“No, you loved it and you have the amazing ability to make people love what you love in order to keep you happy.” Fingers lift my chin and my eyes once again connect with his. “I’ve never seen a smile as radiant as yours. I do believe it was the first thing about you that I fell in love with.” Gasp. “Again, I know it’s unbelievable, but every morning I woke to your shattered spirit and solemn face, it tore at me.”
“I was grieving.”
“And I hope you never have to grieve again,” he whispers, wrapping his arms tight around me. “Goodnight, Gwen.”
“Hmm.” Placing one last kiss on his peck, I snuggle into his warmth and close my eyes.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Sasha sits on the swing beside me, Dillan held carefully in her arms as she rocks slowly back and forth. I take a picture of the two of them on my phone and rest backwards into the metal safety bar that prevents idiots like myself from falling off onto the unforgiving tarmac below.
“Do you remember when we used to come here to drink coffee during our breaks?” Sasha asks, smiling at Dillan who seems to be enthralled by the scenery swaying backwards and forwards before his eyes. Every time the wind breezes across his face, he blinks rapidly and jerks his chunky arms and legs whilst his mouth hangs open in a near smile. “He’s so cute.”
“Yeah, I remember.” I smile fondly at my friend, turned ex-friend, turned friend once more. “Nathan said if I moved in with him, he’d do everything in his power to get me back into university.”
“Wow.” She gives me a large smile. “Do it.”
“I want to, but I don’t want to move in for that reason.”
“Why won’t you move in with him?”
I shrug, not knowing the exact answer to that question. “Maybe because I don’t need to live with him anymore. I like having my independence.”
She nods, seemingly in agreement. “Tommy is visiting this weekend. We should go out.”
I shake my head. “I can’t, I’m in London this weekend. Nathan is finally setting up shop so to speak.” He told me this morning and luckily Valentine agreed to give me the weekend off, but I have to work two extra days next week. He’s adamant that I’m going to help him choose the layout and décor. I’m not going to argue with him; it sounds like fun.
“That’s great.”
It definitely is. “I have to break up with Eric tomorrow. I went to the hospital this morning to see Kara with him.”
“How is she?”
“Her nose was set, but her face and eyes are so swollen.” I shudder at the memory of the incident. “Eric is looking better now that she’s better. Their mum looked positively dreadful.”
“Not surprising,” Sasha states and, yet again, I agree. She pulls Dillan tighter to her chest and lets out a small shiver. “It’s getting cold, we should head back.”
“How’s your placement?” I ask as I stand and smooth down my clothing.
“Boring. It’s always too busy to talk to each other and get to know anybody. By the time we have the time to talk, we’re all way too tired. I’d rather work at Valentine’s; there seems to be a good balance of busy, baking and making friends.”
“Yeah.” I nod and take Dillan from her arms. “It’s nice. We’re like a little family.”
She follows me to the stroller and waits as I strap Dillan in and wrap him up tight. “Can I ask you something?”
“Well, seeing as you asked so nicely,” I remark dryly, making her snort and give me a small shove.
“Okay, it’s just… it’s about Caleb.”
I remain as passive as possible, not letting her see what just the sound of his name still does to me. “Okay.”
“There’s… well, I didn’t want to mention it before because of how…” She waves her hand in the air, clearly trying to find the right word. “Raw everything was. Plus, I thought you didn’t need crap in your head that may just be crap.”