Oh, right, the conference for our interview. After everything that had happened between us, I'd sort of forgotten the world existed. Now that he'd reminded me, I was excited to get ready and shoved three pieces of cantaloupe in my mouth at once. I promptly choked, and Beckett patted my back with his palm.
"Careful," he said, his nearness acting like a catalyst to my desire. Now that my body knew what sex felt like, it wanted nothing but that.
I finished breakfast and jumped out of bed, stretching to my tiptoes. "I can't believe this gets to be my life. Amazing sex at night, fulfilling my academic dreams during the day."
Beckett stacked my plate on his before getting up and hugging me from behind. He had on sweats and no shirt, while I was still completely naked. His palms smoothed over my skin, cupping my cock and balls. "If you don't get in that shower, I can't promise I won't pull you back into bed." He bit my earlobe.
"Yes, Daddy," I sassed back, earning a smack on my backside. I jumped forward, giggling.
"There is nothing fatherly about how I feel for you, Shiloh," Beckett rumbled.
And I was thankful for that. But, though I'd been joking, the feeling behind the joke was real. Beckett would've made an amazing father. He was old enough to have kids already. That he didn't had to mean something. "You never wanted to be a father?" I asked.
"I've pondered it. I think there's a drive in every person to leave something of themselves behind. There is an immortality attached with being a parent that is understandably appealing, but I've always moved for my work, going wherever I could work most efficiently. I've been in Morningwood for a while now, but I don't know that I'll stay here forever."
He hadn't said anything I hadn't suspected, but I still felt slightly deflated at how matter-of-fact he sounded about the prospect of him leaving one day. Would he be leaving without me? And if he asked me to go, could I?
"Shower first," Beckett said knowingly. "Then we will do our work, and after, we can bring this topic up again, okay?"
"Okay." I nodded.
Before I could go into the bathroom, my phone beeped, and I went to it, checking the screen.
"What is it?" Beckett asked.
"A text from Soph," I told him. "She said my mom called." My cheeks burned hot. "I might have told my mom I was staying at Soph's house last night."
Beckett's lips pressed into a disapproving line. "I don't like the idea of you lying to your mother about us, Shiloh. I understand how we have to keep things more hidden on campus. That is mostly my fault for acting outside of my normal behavior when I took you on as a research assistant. I stand behind that choice. I'd received no other requests, and frankly, I don't think a single one of my students is as passionate about our field as you are, but people will still want to whisper. But that isn't the same as you lying to your own family."
"I didn't… I wasn't sure…"
"Do you think what we have is wrong, Shiloh?" Beckett asked.
How had such a perfect morning turned contentious so quickly? Before, my belly had been happy with bacon. Now it flipped mercilessly. I wasn't sure what I could tell him. I didn't know if I was ready to tell my mom, and though I didn't like lying to her, it certainly wasn't the first time. The honesty I'd promised Beckett wasn't my norm. Most times, I just didn't tell my mother things so that she wouldn't worry. "No, I don't." I slunk toward him, feeling slightly ridiculous as I tried to sexy walk. At least he could only hear the way I nearly toppled over. "Can't we shower first, do our work, and then bring this topic up again?"
His lips quirked out of his scowl. "Get in the shower, brat."
I took that to mean yes.
Chapter Twelve
Beckett
Spring
I tapped my watch, learning five minutes had passed since the last time I'd checked the time. I expected Shiloh any minute. He'd had to go to the administration office to sort out his spring schedule, and though I'd seen him that morning and would be with him for the rest of the day, I couldn't wait for him to return.
The last four months had gone by in a blur. The preliminary stage of our research project was coming to a close, and we were preparing to begin live trials, where we would bring subjects in, administer a scent masker to them, and then measure their emotional and physiological response. Things were going according to schedule. In fact, we were ahead of schedule, thanks to Shiloh's enthusiasm. He loved Animal Psychology almost as much as he loved the nights we did nothing but explore each other's bodies. And his excitement rekindled my excitement.
I thought about checking the time once more when I heard Shiloh's footsteps approach down the hallway. He had a distinct cadence: quick, short steps with the occasional stumble. Right now, though, his steps were faster, like he was running. I stood, meeting him at the door. The moment I shut my office door, Shiloh jumped in my arms. I held him tightly, rubbing my hands up and down his body.
"What is it, love? What happened?"
Shiloh just shook his head against my chest, making my heart leap into my throat.
"Shiloh, you must tell me what happened."
He adjusted in my arms so that he could pull his face back and speak clearly. "I don't know. Maybe they know something?" he whispered.
I couldn't be sure who 'they' were. We'd continued keeping our relationship a secret on campus, for obvious reasons, and Shiloh had requested that he be allowed to tell his mother about us on his own time. I couldn't disrespect him by ordering otherwise. Especially since Shiloh was normally so obedient. He wasn't docile; the two words didn't mean the same when it came to Shiloh. I thought he truly understood the choice that came with his submission. I might have been the authoritative figure, but it was Shiloh who held the power.
It was also Shiloh who was currently terrifying me.
"I went into the administration office, but it wasn't to straighten out next term's schedule like I thought. She was letting me know my position as your assistant had been terminated. I won't earn credits for the work I do, and I won't get the stipend anymore."
I could care less about the stipend. I took care of Shiloh's every need, including making sure he had the spending money he wanted. It wasn't a difficult task since Shiloh wasn't much of a shopper. He preferred that I spend time with him more than money.
But that Shiloh wouldn't earn school credit for the work he did with me was asinine. The workload was five times what he would have if he took any other class offered on campus.
"Shiloh, it's going to be okay." I danced my fingers down his spine in the way I knew he enjoyed. "I'll go talk to them. It was probably just a mix-up. The research is university-funded. There's no reason for what she told you to be true."
There was a reason, but I didn't want to jump to conclusions, no matter how angry they made me.
"Stay here. I need you to finalize the info-cards for the test subjects. Double-check the recipe list. We don't want anyone claiming after the fact that they didn't know the lychee-and-spinach smoothie we fed them had spinach in it."
"Okay," he replied.
My chest tightened at the worry I heard in his voice. He shouldn't need to worry about anything. That was my job as his protector. But I understood why he was concerned, so I kissed his forehead before promising to come right back.