“Hey, congratulations, David! Good for you for trying something new. How are sales going, do you know?”
The questions, alas, did not. I gritted my teeth and then took a sip of wine to bite back the sharp retort that rose to my lips.
Seb took one look at my face and swooped in. “Sorry, but I need to bother the man of the evening for a second, would you excuse us, please?”
Gratefully, I let him guide me away from the crowd, toward a little empty area near the front of the room, which opened up to the patio. At least now I knew why the patio had been empty when we’d arrived—everyone had been hiding. “Everything okay? You look a little peeved,” Seb said, frowning at me.
“I’m fine.” My sharp tone belied my words, making Seb shoot me a sideways glance. “I’m just a little tired—I had a lot of excitement getting prepped for today’s release, that’s all.”
Seb bit his lip and studied me. He didn’t look entirely convinced, but he finally nodded when I managed a smile. “Okay.” He drew in a deep breath and then flashed me a tentative smile. “I hope that’s the case. Because there’s one more surprise for tonight.”
Oh, Lord, now what? I bit back a groan, just barely. Please, make whatever this was quick and painless.
“Attention, everyone!” Seb yelled. People turned and began shushing each other, and a few seconds later, all eyes were on us.
“I wanted to thank you all for coming out tonight to celebrate David’s new book—we both really appreciate you being here. It’s not easy trying new things and putting yourself out there, and I for one, am so proud of David for taking the plunge.”
Cheers rang out and I stood there, feeling rather pleased with the response despite my grumpy mood. Perhaps this wasn’t so bad after all.
“David’s inspired me in so many ways, and tonight is just one example.”
The warm glow in my chest expanded. My sweet Seb. Maybe this book party wasn’t so terrible, after all.
Then Seb did the most peculiar thing. He took a deep breath, clasped my hands in his, and turned to face me. “I decided that it would only be fitting if I also put myself out there and took the plunge.”
My pulse drummed in my ears. Where the devil was this going?
Seb stared me right in the eye. “David Wright, I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”
The walls shook with gasps and cheers while I stood there, immobile, with my body turning to stone and my heart plunging to my feet. Oh, no. Seb, why?
The crowd quieted down while they waited for a reply. While Seb waited, his beautiful eyes glowing. My head pounded and I had a sudden urge to flee. What was I supposed to say? I couldn’t say yes but also, sweet Seb. I couldn’t humiliate him, not in front of all of our friends. That would haunt me for the rest of my days.
My nails bit into my palms. “Any man would be lucky to have you,” is the vague wording I finally settled on. Apparently, that was enough for the crowd. Throngs of people rushed up to us, and the next half hour passed in a haze. I suffered through endless toasts and congratulations, until the word began to lose all meaning and I prayed that after this evening was over, no one would ever deign to congratulate me for the rest of my days.
A part of me knew I was being unreasonable, but also, dammit, Seb. How could you do this to me?
I did my best to exude happiness and I think I fooled most of the guests, especially with the drinks and champagne flowing freely. Everyone except Seb, who kept sneaking glances at me while nibbling his thumb.
By the time we got a ride home from Brian Hattersly, I was almost asleep on my feet—an exhaustion no doubt induced by too many long nights preparing for my debut plus the stress of the evening. The only thing I wanted was a cup of tea and then bed.
Seb followed me into the kitchen. I felt his presence behind me when I put the tea kettle on. “Are you mad about tonight?” he said.
My shoulders went rigid. Please, not now. Not tonight. But my please went unanswered. “Do you even want to marry me?”
I froze and then sighed, fidgeting with the kettle to buy myself a few moments. When I turned, Seb was slumped against the counter, his shoulders huddled.
My heart softened a little at his portrait of rejection. “I’m not mad. I appreciate all the work you put into the celebration—thank you for that. It’s just…I hate surprises,” I said delicately.
“Oh.” Seb tilted his head while he pondered before blurting, “Both of them?”
I rubbed the bridge of my nose. “Any. I like to know what’s happening before it happens, so yes, if I’m being honest, both the party and the proposal caught me very off-guard.”
“Does that mean you don’t want to get married?” he prodded again, sticking his chin out like a belligerent bulldog.
His stubborn pushiness made my temper flare. “It means I don’t know! It means now I have fresh misgivings about our age gap and our approach to things. To life. I was in no way expecting you to ask me to marry you, and since I haven’t considered it, I have no idea what to do or say about the proposal yet.”
Seb flinched like I’d hit him. “The fact that you haven’t considered me as a potential life partner kind of says it all, don’t you think?”
Christ. Guilt twisted inside me, so I lashed out. “The fact that you’re twisting my words into some sort of hyperbolic pronouncement just emphasizes my point about our age gap and that we need to think this through very carefully.”
“Think this through very carefully. Of course. Just what every guy wants to hear when he suggests marriage.” Seb pushed away from the counter. “Whatever.” He stalked out of the kitchen and I groaned. That had gone well. The fact was, I hadn’t been completely truthful when I said I hadn’t considered marrying Seb. The thoughts did blip into my head from time to time—the problem was, I always pushed them aside. Marriage, to a man twenty years younger than me? That was me being fanciful. Seb was so young and on the cusp of so many new experiences and changes. A new career, for one. He’d mentioned before that he didn’t want to stick to academia for long. What if I was just a similar phase for him? I didn’t want him to look back in five years and have regrets over us. No, he should have time to stretch his wings. That was the right thing to do.
The tea kettle whistled, so I flipped off the burner and filled a teacup with steaming liquid. Soon, the fragrant aroma of chamomile wafted through the kitchen. Tonight of all nights, I hoped the herb would work to calm my frayed nerves.
I heaved a sigh as I stared into the steaming cup. Perhaps it was for the best that Seb took a time-out. At this point, we were both exhausted. This conversation would play out better in the morning, after a good night’s sleep.
I was still sitting at the kitchen table sipping my tea when Seb appeared with two big duffle bags in tow. My cup clanked against the saucer. “What are you doing?”
Seb shrugged, his chin still stuck at that belligerently high angle. “What does it look like? I’m taking my stuff and staying somewhere else.”
“Oh, come on, don’t be so…” I cut myself off before I uttered the word, but my instinct came too late.
“What? Childish? You know, I don’t get it—why are you so caught up on our age difference? There were at least two couples at your party that had as big of an age gap as us. Do you think they shouldn’t be together either?”