“Hey.” I reach for her shoulders, pulling her up. “Did I hurt you?”
She shakes her head. “I’m . . . no, you didn’t.” She peels my hands off, then scoots back down and takes me back inside her mouth.
Before I can protest, she’s working me with her hand, grabbing me with the perfect amount of pressure at my base and sucking me with her perfectly wet lips at the shaft, and I’m not even sure what’s happening anymore.
Instinctively, I thread my fingers through her hair, controlling her rhythmic bobbing. “Is this okay?” I manage to say. I’m so turned on right now I don’t think I’ve ever been this hard, ever.
She rests her hands on my left thigh, giving it a squeeze as she continues her ministrations. “Mm-hmm.” She gargles out while looking at me through her lashes. “More.” Her demand comes out as a whisper as she pulls back for a single stroke, then dives back in.
My balls tighten, and I know I’m about to blow. “I’m coming, Gracie.” I try to warn. But instead of pulling away, she grips me harder, sucking me faster. Milking my orgasm from me. Before I know it, I’m shooting my load in her mouth. Grace takes all of it without pulling away, rocking me to the core.
I reach down and cup her jaw. “Come up here,” I tell her.
She crawls up, smiling shyly, and lies on top of me, careful not to put weight on my leg.
“Kiss me, Sol.”
“I want to make you come.”
She smiles at me, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. Something flutters across her face. A look of worry or concern. She’s distracted. It reminds me of something from earlier.
“What did you want to tell me earlier today before MJ interrupted us?”
“Huh?” She’s feigning ignorance. Cute.
“Come on, Grace.” I nudge her. “What is it? I can tell something’s bothering you. What—”
“I slept with Levi,” she blurts out, and I swear my heart stops. “I mean, not recently. It was before. When you and I were broken up. It was just once. After we started dating. But it happened, and I just want to come clean. I don’t want to keep any secrets.”
I sit up and throw my left leg over the side of the bed. Bending down, I grab my pants and pull them up over my hips, not bothering to zip up. Gripping the mattress tight on either side of me, I dip my head, letting out a loud sigh.
“Sol, say something, please,” Grace whispers. The mattress dips as she scoots closer to me. “Sol.”
“This is all my fault.” I sigh. I rub my fingers across my forehead. Suddenly, I’m very aware of the blood pumping through my body. My leg begins to throb.
”What do you mean?” Grace hops down from the bed and sinks to her knees in front of me. “How is it your fault? We were broken up.”
“Exactly. It’s my fault. I’m the reason you left. I’m the reason you started dating Levi, and dammit Grace!” I kick my crutch that’s leaning against the desk across from her bed. “I’m the reason you had sex with another man.”
Grace’s eyes well up. She dips her head and sniffles. Her long hair forms a curtain over her face, shielding me from her.
”I love you, Sol. I love you; I swear I never stopped.” She looks up at me now, showing me her tear-streaked face. Even now, seeing her like this, she’s still the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. My heart breaks, knowing I’m the cause of her pain. She continues. “But what Levi and I did, that was all me. It was what I wanted.”
Ugh. “I don’t want to hear this.” I begin to turn away.
“No.” She grabs my hand and holds it against her chest. “I want you to understand. I need you to understand. When we broke up, I was a mess. I couldn’t sleep or eat or stop thinking about you. But I was determined to get over you and move on. Being at school was the perfect excuse. But then you came back.”
I think back on that weekend that I visited Grace at college, right before my mission trip. How I got into a fistfight with Levi, and then in a shouting match with Grace in the rain. How Grace and I ended up making out in my truck and how badly I wanted to stay and tell her I’d give it all up for her.
“I shouldn’t have left. I should have stayed and fought for you.”
“But you didn’t, and that’s okay. We both needed time. To find ourselves and figure out what we needed.”
“And you wanted Levi?”
“I wanted you, but I couldn’t have you. Look, I’m not going to say sleeping with Levi was a mistake. We weren’t together, and I didn’t cheat. He was my boyfriend. But it did make me realize something.”
“What?”
“That you’re the only one for me. That no matter the distance between us, I’ll always want you. You’re it for me, Sol. My beginning and my end. It ends with us.”
“It took you sleeping with Levi to realize that?”
“Sleeping with Levi was just a thing that happened. He’s my past. You’re my future. You’re the one I want. Always, forever and ever and ever.”
As much as knowing Grace has been with another man hurts, she’s right. We weren’t together. I always knew in the back of my mind that there was a chance Grace could be with someone else. That’s on me. She was never beholden to any vows of celibacy like I was. I knew when I gave myself to Grace that she would always be my one and only. It would be hypocritical of me to hold her to a standard that I couldn’t even keep.
I don’t want to fight with her. Not anymore. I can get past this. I will get past this eventually. I have to. When I weigh the options of my life with or without Grace, Grace tips the scales, every time.
“Okay,” I say.
Her eyes widen, and her bottom lip wobbles. “Okay? Really?”
I nod and give her a small reassuring smile. “It hurts, but I just want to focus on our future. So, yeah. Okay.” I reach down under her arms, pulling her to her feet, then wrap my arms around her waist in a hug. She circles her arms around my torso, resting her cheek on my shoulder. I feel her body relax. “I’m sorry for how I reacted.” I kiss her cheek in the embrace. “Thank you for telling me.”
“I’m sorry too. For hurting you, for not trusting in us.”
I pull back and cup her face with both of my hands. Looking her in the eyes, I say, “Hey, let’s not do this. No more apologizing, okay? We’re good. I’m good.”
She nods and swipes a hand to wipe her wet cheeks. “Okay.”
I kiss her gently, tasting the salty tears on her lips, then tuck the locks of curly hair behind her ear. She smiles sweetly at me and kisses me once more. The kiss starts out slow, tentative even. But then her hands cup my jaw, pulling me closer. She tilts her head to the side, moaning into my mouth and opening up to me. I rub my hands up her back as our tongues dance, tasting each other. I can’t get enough. I’ll never get enough of her.
We fall to the bed together, me on top of her, our lips never leaving each other. With my hands at her waist, I slowly push up her top, up to her chest, then bend down and trail kisses along the soft curve of her stomach. I love it. Love the feminine softness.
I reach up and pull the cup of her bra down, exposing her breast, then kiss her heavy swells. Her chest heaves, and I can tell by the way her nails dig into my scalp that she’s as turned on as I am. I reach down and hook my thumbs on the waistband of her shorts.