This book is dedicated to you, dear reader. Thank you for your patience and encouragement, and for loving these characters and this trilogy.
Love AG.
Distorted voices seep into my consciousness, nudging me awake. My head feels heavy, and the more I try to focus on the voices, the more it sounds like listening to a muffled conversation underwater.
I try to force my senses to focus on my surroundings, to bring me back to the here and now, but all I can feel is the shiver running down my spine. I’m cold. So, so cold. And no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to will myself to wake up from this dream—no, not a dream. A nightmare. As if summoned, the sequence of images start to play again. Maybe this time I can change the course of this nightmare. Maybe this time . . . maybe this time—
The low growl of a vehicle interrupts my thoughts. The headlights are flashing now—something I didn’t notice before because I was panicking. I try to move my feet, but . . . I can’t. Why can’t I move these stupid legs? I need to move before it’s too late.
The sound of tires screeching on the asphalt jolts through me, followed by a resounding thud, and I know I’m already too late. Silence follows as everything goes black.
From behind my closed eyelids, a ménage of blue, red, and white lights flash on and off. A hand on my shoulder shakes me as someone mutters, “Wake the fuck up.”
The fog in my head slowly dissipates, bringing my surroundings into focus. Lying on an ice-cold, hard surface, I feel the chill and wetness seeping into my clothes. My head feels like it’s about to split open—
I squeeze my eyes once, then peel my lids open and squint at the starless sky before rolling my head to the side to take in my surroundings. And I realize I just stepped out of my nightmare and into a terrifying reality.
A cacophony of sounds slams into my senses all at once: sirens blaring, feet shuffling, someone sobbing—
“Grace! Look at me.” MJ’s command pierces through the noise. My gaze moves down from the sky, bringing in to focus my best friend’s worried face brimming with tears.
“MJ,” I murmur. My voice is hoarse. My throat burns, and the cold, dry air makes it hard to breathe. I swallow, trying to lubricate my cords before continuing. “What happened?” I question, trying to piece together the events of the night.
Where am I, and why am I lying on the freezing ground? My mind is a maze, and I can’t seem to find my way out. I keep hitting rewind on my memories, sifting through what is a dream and what’s reality.
MJ’s party.
Sol. SOL!
And just like a tsunami rushing to shore, my memories come flooding back to me.
Sol’s words pierce into my brain.
Choose me.
I’m all in.
I’ll fight for you.
His heat, our breaths mingling, and then our lips locked in a kiss. That kiss. Then Levi showing up and seeing us. The pain in his eyes—trust lost, promises broken.
Me running after him. Sol running after me. And finally, the crash, one car, two bodies.
Oh, no.
“Oh, no!” I gasp. “It’s real. It happened. Oh my God, Sol. Levi . . .” I start to push to my elbows to sit up, but wince and slump back when a sharp pain shoots through my skull.
“Stay down,” MJ orders sharply, her hand darting down to keep my head from hitting the ground. “You hit your head and passed out. You need to get checked out first.”
I shake my head, and nausea burns my throat as the pain intensifies. “I’m fine. I need to get to them.” I try to sit up again, but MJ presses down on my shoulders, keeping me pinned to the ground.
“Lie the fuck down, Grace,” she yells, her voice strangled and pleading. I want to fight her, to go check on Sol and Levi, but I’m too weak to move, and everything throbs, so I yield to her demand. “Ivan is with the boys. Plus, the paramedics are with them as we speak.”
“Can you see anything from here? Are they moving?” I’m scared that if I say the words I’m thinking out loud, I’ll speak their fate into existence.
“I need to check you out,” a deep male voice says. I turn my head slowly, tracking the source when the man speaks again. “That’s a nasty bruise you got there, young lady.”
Crouching, he sets the black medical bag he’s holding on the ground and slides the zipper open. Pulling out a pair of rubber gloves, he slides them on, then carefully places one hand at the nape of my neck. He holds me steady while examining the back of my head, pushing my hair from the center of my skull and cursing under his breath at whatever he finds there. “Okay. I need you to sit still for me so I can stop the bleeding, okay?”
I nod.
He pulls his hands back, and I see blood on his gloves before he peels them off and replaces them with fresh ones. He turns back to face me with gauze and swabs in his hands, then tilts my head to the side with gentle hands and begins to work on the wound.
My eyes wander to the three ambulances with flashing red lights parked several feet away, then move to the paramedics bent over the two bodies lying on the snow-covered street. From this distance, I can’t really tell if they are moving or not. All I see is a flurry of firefighters, paramedics, and police officers scrambling to and from their vehicles, kneeling on the ground and working at a rapid pace.
They have to be alive. They just have to—
My eyes burn with tears, and a sob escapes from my lips.
“Hey, miss. Look at me.” I blink away the tears blurring my vision and drag my gaze to the man before me. “What’s your name?”
“G-Grace.”
My gaze darts to the ambulances again, hoping for a sign. But the lead ball in my stomach tells me I know better. That whatever has happened to them will require much more than a Band-Aid and a few stitches.
“I’m Andrew,” the paramedic tending to me says, pulling my attention back to him. “I’m almost done cleaning the wound, but I need you to focus on me for a little while, okay?” I swallow around the lump in my throat and try to nod, but a sharp pain pierces through my head, forcing another sob to break free.
“Just blink twice.” I do, and Andrew mutters, “Good. Now, can you tell me how you got this wound?”
The memory of Sol pushing me aside and sprinting toward Levi plays in my head. “I fell on the ice and blacked out. Sol and Levi, w-will they be okay?”
“You mean the two boys?” Andrew asks as he swabs at the wound. It stings, and I wince, jerking my head away from his hands. After repositioning my head in his grasp, he says, “They are pretty banged up. What the hell happened?”
“It’s all my fault. All my fault. I should be the one lying there instead of them,” I say, my throat raw from screaming earlier.
“Grace . . .” MJ murmurs in protest at the same time I feel the paramedic’s hands pause for a moment before asking, “How so?”
“Sol and I were talking, then he kissed me, and I kissed him back. Levi found us and took off . . .”
“Where does Levi fit in the picture?”
I squeeze my eyes shut. “He’s my boyfriend.”
“And Sol?”
“My ex-boyfriend.”
The words hang between us like a bad omen. After several beats of silence, Andrew’s hands start moving again. When he’s done, he pulls out what looks like a pen and directs it to my eyes. “I’m going to shine this in your eyes to check for pupil dilation, okay? It’s normal procedure to make sure you don’t have a concussion.” I blink twice to let him know I understand. “Just follow the light, okay?” A light bursts from the pointy end, and my eyes blink several times on reflex, then he digs a stethoscope from his bag and takes my blood pressure.