“I remember trying to get up and then just straight tumbling down the mountain. It was so crowded. People were literally leaping out of my way to get to safety.”
Hannah laughed again.
“I knew I should be scared because I was falling fast. Or at least it seemed like I was. But I was so stoned that I just thought it was hilarious.”
“I definitely remember losing a ski.”
“We ended up just sprawled on the hill, cracking up. Every time we tried to stand, we’d fall again.”
“Weren’t people yelling instructions at us from the chairlift?”
“Yep! And skiers kept stopping to offer a hand. Everyone was so worried, trying to help, but we couldn’t stop laughing long enough to let them.”
“Such idiots.”
“So great,” Maya said.
“If only I was high now maybe I’d think this was funny.”
“I’m just going to pretend we are...whee, upside down, yay, so fun!”
“Does that really work?” Hannah said.
“It could,” Maya said cheerfully.
The Ferris wheel lurched suddenly and the cage swung in the wind. A rider across from them screamed again.
“Hoo,” Maya said. “Fun!” She tried to make them both believe it.
Hannah whimpered anew. “Keep talking. What happened? How did we get down the mountain?”
“Oh, we ended up just taking off our skis and sliding down on our asses. It took us like an hour. Literally the same skiers kept passing us on their second and third runs, waving as they flew by.”
Hannah laughed. “Oh man, how did I forget that?”
Their eyes met briefly in sadness. So much lost to that one night.
They were quiet again, the air still. They could see all the way to the ocean. The reflected lights from surrounding houses floated like tea candles on the water.
“If we die on this dumb ride before I get to see Oracle Lauren...” Hannah said.
“We’re not going to die.”
The Ferris wheel turned suddenly and with it their cage righted.
“Hey, we’re moving!”
“We are. See? Fun!” Maya said.
The rotation delivered them chair by chair to the bottom, Hannah’s fear seeming to dissipate quickly in the descent. The ride operator unleashed them from the cage. “Sorry about that, ladies.”
“Ugh, we’re ‘ladies’ now,” Maya said as she climbed off with wobbly legs. “When did that happen?”
Hannah looked at her phone. “Come on, it’s getting late.” She started walking fast in the direction of the psychic’s tent.
“Wait,” Maya said, grabbing her arm. “I have a question.”
“Talk while we’re walking.”
“How do you know you made a wrong turn?”
“Huh?”
“That night. At the fork in the road? How do you know it was the wrong choice?”
Hannah recoiled. “Seriously?”
“I’m not saying it was the right choice. What I mean is...how do you know it was even a choice at all? Like, if the psychic really could predict it, then it must have been fated, right? Otherwise, she couldn’t know.”
Hannah considered this a moment. “I guess,” she said finally. “But maybe if I’d actually done what she’d said, things would’ve been different.”
“Right. But see, that’s what I’m saying...maybe you never would have.” Maya was feeling around in her brain for her thoughts. “Maybe a hundred times out of a hundred you would have done the same thing because that was the script. If fate could be altered, it wouldn’t be fate. I’m not saying I’m right, but...” Maya didn’t know if she was saying this more for Hannah or for herself. But it seemed important, like the possibility of removing some quiet burden from them both. Just that. Not a certainty but a possibility that maybe neither of them were to blame.
Hannah nodded thoughtfully. “I still want to see her.”
“I’m not trying to stop you. I’m just saying...if stuff’s going to happen where there’s literally nothing you can do to change it, what’s the point of knowing ahead of time? If it was bad, you’d just have longer to dread it and be miserable. And if it was good, you would be less excited when it happened because you’d already know it was coming. Either way you still have to live your life in the meantime, right?”
“I guess,” Hannah said.
They reached the tent. It was dark and shuttered.
Hannah looked around frantically. “Where is she?”
Maya glanced at the hours listed—3:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m.—and then down at her phone. It was just after nine.
Hannah stared in disbelief. “Wait. No.” She looked at Maya and back to the tent. “I don’t understand.” She seemed like she was going to cry. “This doesn’t make sense. I was meant to see her...this was the sign.”
“What sign?”
“Just... I dunno...a sign! A direction.” She was pacing now, circling the tent as if Oracle Lauren might suddenly return. She was definitely going to cry.
“Hannah,” Maya said.
“We have to find her.”
“Okay,” Maya said. “But I mean, I think she’s gone. I guess we could google her. See where her next gig is...”
Hannah stopped, put her hands to her eyes, began to sob. “It was hard enough for me just to come here.”
Maya moved to comfort her but Hannah shook her head.
“What am I supposed to do?” she said. “Why won’t life help me? I’m trying so hard...”
“Hannah,” Maya said. “She’s just a dumb carnival shill...”
But Hannah was inconsolable. “Don’t you get it? Now I have nothing. I’m just going to be stuck in the same place! In the same exact place of ‘What if he doesn’t wake up? But then what if he does?’ Every day. Every single minute of every day. It’s consuming me. It’s swallowing my whole life. Will he be okay? Will I be okay? My head is a constant debate. Hope, fear, hope, fear. Back and forth, up and down. And there’s no answer and there’s no door. It’s just a circular room made up of circular questions and I’m locked inside, I’m trapped! And I don’t know how to get out.” Her body sagged. “I thought maybe life was giving me an answer...”