“Sure”
He sat on my bed while I scribbled my drawings, sitting on the dressing table.
“Tomorrow is your last day to make the decision. I won't tell you not to go anymore, because it would be so selfish of me. I want you to follow your heart. Whatever you decide, I will always be here for you. Lumen is your choice.”
Oh dad, I've wanted all my life to hear those words from you. I've always wanted that attention and now, if I chose to leave, I would lose it once more and forever. You who saved me as a baby in Lumen, raised me thinking of your guilt for ending an entire village, and made me go back there to save you. Even though you're that way, you're so important in my life. I felt like a sad and lonely five-year-old girl, cried like one. Not because I was feeling that way anymore, but because now you were all I dreamed of and I was about to leave you behind. I couldn't answer it, I cried while giving a goodbye hug.
I was interrupted by the phone ringing. It was after 10 p.m. If Rodrigo woke up to the noise my mother would be furious. Dad nodded and I ran downstairs wiping my damp face. It was Auntie Eva.
“Dearest, have you decided? Are you going to Lumen? I want to go too, is there a way?”
“Stop, auntie! I haven't decided anything yet, don't push me,” I whispered covering the phone.
“Okay, okay! Since you don't have any classes right now, would you go with me to the store in Boras for some shopping? I also need to borrow your father's lawnmower. Just before 8 o'clock I’ll stop at your place.”
“Yes, deal.”
My mom closed Rodrigo's bedroom door carefully when she saw me coming back down the hall and entered the room with me.
“Who was on the phone? Any new boyfriend?” she whispered with a mischievous smile, watching to make sure my dad in the other room didn't listen.
“No, Mom, none of that. It was Auntie Eva. I don't have any boyfriend.”
“Then it's time to tidy up, don't you think? I, at your age, was the biggest hit in my neighborhood. Maybe there is someone out there looking for you.”
My heart sped up just hearing the phrase, as if she knew the feeling behind the scornful answer. I had two reasons to make my heart race in another dimension.
Despite being far from loving me, mom Jessica was someone else after we went to Lumen. She no longer discounted me for her unhappy marriage, for now they were fine. They even went out to dinner just the two of them from time to time. She ended up becoming loving. She still preferred Rodrigo, of course, but now there was even a fondness for me. I smiled at her, she returned it to me with a tug at my bangs, eyeing my scribbles on the dresser.
“Hmmm what drawings are these?”
“It’s nothing!! Good night!” I said putting it behind me. I should have hidden that before, what a dumb one.
“Okay.”
She leaned against the door and walked out smiling. At least I didn’t have to explain what I drew here. I imagined the scene.
‘Of course, mom! Look at everything that happened to me this past year, the drawings I made of them to never forget. This is the Lumen’s village, here in the middle is my castle. Didn't I tell you? I am the daughter of Princess Runa, dad's first wife. We lived there in the fourth dimension until everything collapsed.’ She'd go to a kook clinic that same night, no better. I tried to keep the drawings where only I would know, under the loose floorboard, near the bed and the window, my perfect hiding place.
I kept going over the possibilities for the thousandth time at night. It had been a year. There was no point in turning everything upside down, life here had gotten better. My parents were more lovable, I finished high school. Maybe I would go to college and find a good, loving guy to marry me. Someone who was no longer engaged or who had no evil tendencies. I decided that night that I would leave Lumen's dream behind. I decided that I would live in Sweden, even without great emotions. This was where I should be. It was decided, tomorrow I would tell my dad and Auntie Eva.
The next morning, I took the thrombosis medicine, put in my contact lenses, and went down while the coffee smell came to meet me on the stairs. Even though I didn't have to go to school anymore, getting up early was part of me. I would go with Auntie Eva to Boras for shopping, I had to get up anyway. I went to the kitchen where Koda already gave me a lick of congratulations, the long and awaited day of my eighteenth birthday had come. The radio quietly played a song by the window while my mom made coffee. Rodrigo played in the car seat with the crystal ball that I got from Auntie Eva last year. My dad read the daily newspaper a bit wet from falling into a puddle, the deliveryman's fault. They both hugged me and congratulated me. While my father was explaining why he didn’t had gifts because of the lack of money this year, I approached Rodrigo and rubbed his face, he smiled.
“Good morning, little one. What's so interesting about this ball today, huh?”
He said something I didn’t get and burst out laughing. He managed to raise my eyebrows.
“He's glued into this crystal ball now! Woke up crying when I didn’t let him have that ball he didn’t stop. After a year Rodrigo noticed your gift,” my mother commented, while cooking facing the stove.
When I looked back at him, the crystal ball had purple sparks inside. Rodrigo vibrated with every spark that appeared. Dad, sunk in the newspaper, mom on the stove, no one saw. I shook my head and closed my eyes. The sparks were gone. I must have been emotional about the date, that was it. I kept a healthy distance from the crystal ball to avoid more weird thoughts in the head.
Seven fifteen in the morning. Dad hurried off dropping the half-folded newspaper on the table. Mom tried to catch Rodrigo and was also late for her job.
“Lola, clean this stuff up, it's a mess! Your aunt will be here soon to get the lawnmower, okay? Why Koda still has this weird bark?” she said, kicking some toys and dodging others.
“Okay, I'm going shopping with her. Good work!”
Koda, after escorting my parents to the door, came back and fell into a nap on the kitchen floor, letting out a short peep. I finished my coffee without haste, still in my pajamas. I was reading the newspaper lying on the kitchen table when a lightning bolt caught my eye. The cold and the sunshine coming through the window didn't fit with a coming storm. It could be a short circuit on the street, but the radio was still working at home, even though the signal had gotten worse. Koda raised his head, so did I. I got up and turned off the radio, I had the feeling of not being alone. The silence was broken now by a noise in the house, something fell into the room, heavy as a watermelon. Rodrigo's miniature robot was working by itself and kept saying all the phrases at a wrong pace, Koda kept barking even without leaving his spot.
There was someone in the living room. My heart pounded, I grabbed a knife from the sink and went like a cat over there. Koda didn't follow me, that foul watchdog!
As I craned my head down the hall, I saw that something was moving on the sofa from the back. Whatever it was, it was trying to silence the little punching robot, apparently it wasn't working. I positioned the knife at shoulder level ready to strike the thief as I approached from the side and saw who was making the noise.
“AHHHHHH!” I covered my mouth. This could not be real.
“Forgive me. I was supposed to come without trumpeting, but I tripped over this animal and I can't shut it up. Where is the mouth of it?”