The barking rose to her ears in a sluggish crescendo, cutting through the fuzziness of her head. Suddenly, he stepped back, breaking the contact, and the surge of loss took her by surprise. As if her body recognized its other half and now refused to live without it. Eyes wide, lips swollen, she stared at him with rising horror, recognizing what they’d just done.
They’d ruined everything.
She’d be haunted by that kiss for the rest of her days and, God help her, all the nights. Barely able to swallow, she ripped her gaze from his face and focused on why the dogs were barking.
Captain Hoof was in the doorway.
Swaying a bit on his feet, he swiveled his head back and forth, as if trying to focus and register the barking. Bagheera and Baloo seemed to sense the goat’s tentativeness, and they transitioned to happy whimpers of greeting, sniffing noses, and even a gentle lick on the goat’s cheek.
She reached deep and rallied her strength. “Look who’s up,” she said, her voice a tad unsteady. Determined to break the shattering tension, she walked slowly over and sat on the floor in front of the goat. “You feeling a bit better?” she crooned, petting him and the dogs. “Don’t be afraid of these guys, they’re very sweet and protective. And I think you need some of that, right?”
Captain Hoof focused on her, that long, narrow pupil opening only in the right eye, his body beginning to stop shaking under the warmth of the dogs and her affections. She heard Aidan’s footsteps disappear, and then he was sitting on the floor next to her, until the goat was surrounded by a tight circle of affection.
“Let’s get you some water, buddy,” he said, holding the dropper to the animal’s lips. The goat drank, his tongue lapping slowly, then more urgently. “Better. Maybe we’ll try a little more food. Get you a bit stronger.”
The goat stared back at his audience and remained silent.
“At least he’s not afraid of dogs,” she said, stroking him. “He seems to like affection.”
“Definitely a plus.”
They fell quiet. Spent the next few moments comforting Captain Hoof. Tried thinking about anything other than that kiss that had blown away the last of their resolutions and illusions. Tension grew. Her breath got stuck in her lungs. Desperate for some space, she began to rise. “I’ll get some food and take him out for a bit. Just in case he needs to go.”
“I’ll take him.”
She shook her head. “You don’t have to. I know you had a long day, so—”
“I want to stay.”
The words pinged through the room like a gunshot. Her body sagged with relief. The idea of him leaving hurt her too much. She didn’t know what would happen, or if they’d both decide to take a risk together. But God, she wanted him close.
“I want you to stay,” she said softly.
His gaze searched her face. “It didn’t suck.”
She laughed and tried to ignore the joy squeezing her silly, traitorous heart. “No. It didn’t suck at all. But I’m not ready to decide about . . . us. Not yet.” She pulled in a breath. “I’m scared. And you made me feel more than I was ready for.”
Vulnerable, halfway terrified, she waited for his response.
Slowly, he reached out his hand. She took it. He entwined her fingers with his, each deliberate motion as if he were tying her to him. “Me, too. We’ll let it settle. For now, we move forward with Phoenix. No weirdness.”
Her smile felt lit from within. “Deal.”
When their hands dropped, separated, she felt the strength of his fingers in hers for hours afterward like an imprint.
Just like the one on her heart.
Chapter Thirteen
Aidan stared down at Harper and said the only thought currently jumping in his head. “You’re fucking with me, right?”
Harper shook out a furry chicken costume from its packaging. It was egg-yolk yellow, with a bright-red hood that mimicked head feathers. He stared in astonishment at the ridiculous getup and wondered if it was a joke. The animals gathered around her as if this were a viewing party, including Figaro, who sniffed curiously at the outfit.
“I know you’re freaking out, but I just want to try it.”
“Try what? Getting him to think he’s not a goat?”
They’d spent the last week caring for Captain Hoof and switching up responsibilities at work. Harper insisted on taking on the bulk of care, preferring Aidan and Elmo work with Phoenix while she stayed home. The goat had gotten stronger, now able to eat and drink on his own, and was comfortable around his animal crew. They’d both agreed it was time to take him to the farm to reintroduce him to his roots. Unfortunately, when neither of them was in sight, the poor thing went into an anxiety attack. He’d also taken up a habit of becoming dependent on the beat-up red-plaid blanket Harper had placed in his bed. He consistently tried to wrap it around him or drag it around wherever he went. Right now, it trailed behind Captain Hoof in tattered glory as he lined up with the dogs to see what Harper had unwrapped.
Harper kept talking while she smoothed out the costume. “I read on this Instagram account that goats with anxiety issues like to be wrapped in something protective. This woman at Goats of Anarchy put a costume on her baby goat, and immediately the goat calmed down and was able to allow her to leave the room.”
“Are you sure she’s not just doing that for more followers?”
“No, her nonprofit is incredible. She takes care of abused animals and has a ton of goats. I’m surprised I didn’t know about her organization sooner, but she popped up when I was researching goats with anxiety. I know it seems silly, but we need to try.”
Aidan rubbed his scalp. He’d seen some weird shit when it came to caring for animals, but this might win the prize. Of course, it wouldn’t work, but he’d just let her see for herself so they could move on to another tactic. “Fine. Go ahead. Put him in a chicken costume. Hei Hei will attack him, Captain Hoof will have a nervous breakdown, and we’ll all be one happy, dysfunctional family.”
She ignored him and pulled the costume over the goat’s head. The Captain allowed her to tug it over his body and through his legs without struggling. She slipped up the hood to cover his tiny horns, then sat back on her heels and examined the goat.
Aidan felt as if he were tripping out on psychedelic drugs. The image before him was so bizarre, he could only stare at the goat-chicken creature in front of him. The Captain’s tiny head poked out from the hood sprouted with fake red feathers, and his whole body was covered in fuzzy yellow.
“No,” he ground out, changing his mind. “Just . . . no.”
“Let me poke a hole in the back for his tail,” she said. Grabbing scissors, she chopped at the costume until a stubby tail stuck out from the rear.
Captain Hoof got up and began walking around while the other animals swarmed him, trying to figure out what the strange thing was about. Aidan held his breath, praying the goat would begin to shake it off or communicate his irritation with being transformed into a Halloween chicken.
Instead, the goat began to prance, as if testing out his new clothes. The dogs got into the dance party until Aidan realized with rising horror that the Captain actually liked it.
Harper stood up and beamed. “Look, he’s happy.”