Her body, of course, didn’t take to her decision well. But for now, her mind was a tad stronger.
At least for today.
“I’ll reapply,” he said. “And you didn’t answer.”
“I had to leave it on. Just for a little while, until he gets used to the farm.”
“Harper, I swear—”
“He was shaking, Irish. I had no choice. I left him with Owen. Wheezy and Bolt are playing with him, though, so he already has two new friends. How’s Phoenix?”
He blew out a breath. “Still has a bit of a temper. It’ll be nice on the racetrack if we can funnel it. Unsure of how he’ll take to the travel, though.” His gaze sharpened, assessed. “His first race is in four weeks. It’s time to see how he competes on the track.”
Nerves prickled. She knew the speed was there, and the heart. The unknown factors were running with other horses and the stress of travel. They’d been working hard on desensitizing him to animals, crowds, and noise, but Saratoga would be a real test. “I’m ready. I think Phoenix is, too.”
“Good. I want to load him in the trailer to get him used to the confinement. Take him on a short trip so it’s not a shock, even though it’s not far to Saratoga. We’ve pushed hard this week, so he needs a relaxation day.” He shook his head. “That horse likes his me-time. If he were human, he’d be binge-watching Netflix and getting fat on the couch.”
“A horse after my own heart.”
Aidan snorted. “Woman, you are a born and bred workaholic. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were at the farm twenty-four seven.”
The words hit her hard, a sharp reminder she pretty much had no social life. Mia and Ophelia regularly recruited her for a girls’ night out, and she had some casual friends in town she’d dine with, but no other deep connections. No lover. Was she strange? Lacking in some way? Was it wrong she didn’t really miss trying to be someone she wasn’t?
“Hey.” The soft whisper of sound jolted her out of her thoughts. “Where did you go?”
She turned, desperate to hide her sudden vulnerability. “Sorry, just daydreaming.”
Gentle fingers closed over her chin and forced her to meet his gaze. Those piercing amber eyes refused to let her hide. “I didn’t like that expression on your face. What were you thinking?”
No one asked her such questions. She moved through her life with such deliberate purpose, it probably never occurred to anyone that she’d question her path. She opened her mouth to give him her standard answer that she was fine, but instead, the truth tumbled out.
“I am a workaholic, but I like what I do. How I choose to spend my time in this world. But when people stare at me with sympathetic looks because I’m not married and have no children and don’t bitch about wanting more, I start questioning myself.” Heat seeped into her cheeks. She forced out a laugh, embarrassed at her outburst. “It’s nothing. Forget it.”
“No.” His face set in serious determination, he shook his head hard. “No, I won’t forget it. You’re a rarity, Harper, and people don’t understand how to deal with a person who claims her life on her own terms. Everyone is so used to excuses, and regrets, and questioning every step taken, wondering if it’s right, wondering if it’ll be judged, always looking for the right answer outside, rather than inside.” His thumb pressed against her lips. His eyes darkened with a seething intensity, captivating her. “I like who you are, Harper Bishop. Don’t ever question yourself based on a bunch of nameless society groupies who live to lump you into a category because it’s easy. You’re too big for them to label. And God, that’s sexy as all hell.”
She sucked in a breath, shattered by his words and the truth ringing in his lilting voice. Shattered that he seemed to see right into her soul like no one ever had. Shattered because every day, she wanted him a bit more, and damn the consequences.
The sound of horse hooves behind them broke up the moment. His hand dropped, and she stepped back and stared up at Elmo. The jockey glanced back and forth between them, and Phoenix must’ve sensed the tension, because he tossed his head and butted right in between them, diving into Aidan’s pocket for his end-of-workout oatmeal cookie.
Aidan stumbled back, laughing. “Fine, fine, take your cookie, mo chára. But you’re on a diet for the rest of the day. I want you lean and mean for the race, but not cranky. Think you can work with me on this?”
Phoenix blew out a snort, then closed his teeth around the treat.
“Good ride. Ready for Saratoga.”
Aidan patted the jockey’s leg. “Yes, we are. We’re gonna win. I can feel it.”
“Me, too. Demon settled. He run fast.”
Harper grinned at the jockey, whose speech was as Spartan as his movements. But she realized his true affection lay in what he gave his mount. The way he looked at Phoenix as if seeing into his soul. The complete dedication and focus when he rode, as if honored by the gift of the horse rather than trying to embellish and dominate with his own human power. It was a rarity in a jockey she treasured, and Aidan recognized the gift because he had the same type of heart.
“Let’s get him familiar with the trailer later. For now, he gets a few hours of laziness.”
“I take him into pasture,” Elmo said. With a touch of his heel, he eased Phoenix to a gallop and shortly disappeared.
“I’m so glad you targeted him as our jockey,” she announced. “It’s like you knew he’d be a fit for Phoenix.”
Aidan nodded. “Elmo’s unusual, which makes him special. He has a colorful history. Came from Sardinia and rode in the Palio di Siena.”
Her eyes widened. The famous Italian horse race that took place in Siena was dangerous, and one of the fiercest competitions in history. Jockeys rode bareback, and most standard racing rules did not apply, allowing the crowd and riders to experience a primitive tradition like the bull fighting in Spain. “How did he do?”
“Got knocked off and broke a few ribs but lived to tell. He’s traveled all over, from Spain to Ireland, and the States.” A grin curved his lips. “Did you see Owen’s face when he spouted out that Shakespeare sonnet at dinner Sunday night, then stalked away?”
Harper laughed. “I couldn’t believe it. Who would’ve thought he spoke so eloquently when he wanted to? Chloe said it was the best moment yet, and Owen can’t stop talking about it.”
“Elmo once told me he refuses to waste words on a world that cheapens them. He made a decision to base everything on action, deciding to only speak what’s necessary.” He cocked his head, deep in thought. She enjoyed the spill of sun over his figure, turning his hair to gold-spun straw and illuminating the laugh lines carved around his mouth, the pinch of sunburn sprinkled over his nose. “I think he enjoys holding back from people, allowing them to judge. I guess the three of us make up the perfect team.”
“Why?”
“We all know who we are,” he said simply. “And we don’t give a shit.”
She laughed, and he grinned down at her, and she savored the few moments on a hot summer’s day with a man she was beginning to care deeply about.