“Yes,” I whisper, wondering if Sol is still waiting for me on the other side of the door.
“You and my nephew,” Father Foster continues, and all thoughts of Sol freeze inside my head. And I’m wondering why, why, why he feels the need to be so chatty today of all days. “He’s a good boy.”
“I know.” Good boy, my ass.
Sol is all kinds of bad when he wants to be. I don’t even know what has gotten into him today. He’s acting so different. Bolder than usual.
“He seems to like you very much.”
I’m about to ask him if Sol told him that, but I quickly press my lips together and wait for what’s coming next.
“I assume you feel the same way about him?”
“Yes,” I murmur. “I mean, he’s a very good friend.”
He doesn’t say anything for several seconds. It’s the kind of silence that speaks volumes. He doesn’t believe me. “He hasn’t withdrawn his application to the seminary yet.”
I clear my throat and try to hide how nervous I am. “Do you, um, disapprove of Sol and me spending so much time together?”
“Most spiritual advisors would disapprove, yes.” He pauses, inhaling deeply. “As his mentor, I should be steering him away from anything that keeps him from focusing on his goals to be ordained. But as his uncle, I want only what’s best for him. Clearly, he’s quite taken with you. The only time I’ve seen him this passionate about something is when he’s talking about how much he wants to follow in my footsteps.”
Air is suspended between my lungs and throat as I wait for him to continue talking.
He sighs, and I can see movement on the other side of the mesh. I think he’s covering his mouth or dragging a hand down his face. I can’t tell exactly.
Finally, I take a deep breath and close my eyes, feeling as conflicted as Sol. My thoughts drift to the boy waiting for me outside this booth; his kindness, the way his eyes light up when he sees me, his smile, his relentless pursuit to be my friend . . . and I know, I know I’m in love with him.
“What do I do?”
“Unfortunately, he has to decide which path to follow. Which loss is more bearable.”
I nod, acknowledging the truth in his words. Fleetingly, I wonder if I’m ready for whatever choice he’ll make.
I shudder and shake my head, pushing those thoughts away.
Father Foster hums under his breath like he always does, indicating the end of my session. So I grab my purse and stand, almost running out of the booth, clutching my dress to my legs to keep the cool breeze from hitting my lady bits. I join Sol on the pew and do my assigned penance, then add an extra prayer for good measure. When I’m done, Sol leaps to his feet from the bench. Any lingering thoughts and doubts about Sol and me fade away as he laces his fingers with mine and leads the way out of the church.
We don’t stop until we’re outside in the parking lot next to his truck.
“Holy shit!” I breathe out, the impact of what we did flashing in my head. “You’re insane. You know that?”
He opens the door to the passenger seat, grips me by the waist, and hoists me inside. My butt lands on the warm seat, reminding me I’m not wearing underwear. Because he took them.
“I’m not enjoying the breeze, Sol. I need my underwear back,” I tell him after he joins me inside the car.
“Answer this first, and you can have them back.” He slants a smile in my direction. “You more than just like me. True or false?”
My traitorous mind goes back to our moment inside the confessional box, and I squirm as heat pools between my legs. “True. I more than just like you, Sol.”
“Good.” He fishes my panties from his pocket and holds them out to me. He eyes the white cotton material in his hands. “Really pretty.”
I snatch them from his hands, my face on fire, and slip them back on, then straighten my dress.
“What’s going on? I’ve never seen you like that, Sol.”
He holds my gaze for several seconds, then shakes his head as if he’s trying to clear it. “I don’t know. I came here to talk to you, but then I—” He sucks in a deep breath and shakes his head again. “Even the sanest person is prone to moments of insanity. I wasn’t in the right frame of mind. I’m really sorry.”
“It was kind of hot.” I squirm in the seat, heat gathering between my legs just thinking about that version of Sol. “I really liked it.”
His mouth twists in a crooked smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes, which seem a little troubled. We drive into town, chatting about everything and nothing. I’m still riding the high of doing something so scandalous and not being caught.
When my phone beeps inside my purse, I pull it out and check my messages. There are three messages from MJ, and she wants to know what time I’ll be at her place. Shit. I completely forgot we were supposed to be hanging out after confession.
My gaze darts to Sol just as his briefly meets mine, and my pulse quickens at the lingering heat in his eyes.
“What?” he asks.
“MJ and I were supposed to hang out later. I promised her I’d go to her place after church.”
“We could eat lunch, then you could hang out after?” he asks. “There’s this Chinese restaurant I’ve been dying to try out.”
I nod and quickly type out a text to MJ, letting her know I’ll be at her place in about two hours.
Sol parks outside the restaurant, then jogs to my side and opens the door for me. He holds out his hand, and I put mine in his, allowing him to help me out. He slams the door behind me, then he’s moving forward, invading my space. I stumble backward until I feel the hard metal of the passenger door digging into my shoulders and back. My line of sight is filled with him and only him as he subtly leans forward, wide shoulders blocking my view, blue eyes watching me intently, and lastly, his scent surrounding me. All I want to do is press my nose into the crook of his neck and breathe him in until I’m drunk on his scent.
“I really want to kiss you, but I’m afraid I might not stop if I start,” he murmurs.
“Do it. I’m not going to stop you. I have zero willpower when it comes to you, Sol.”
“I shouldn’t be leading you on like this. There are about ten million reasons to stop doing this before it gets even messier, but I can’t remember what they are right now—”
When I slam my mouth onto his, it takes a moment for him to recover from my attack. He groans, his other arm sliding up to wrap around my back, holding me so close I can feel every single hard plane of his chest and abs. The metal of the car behind me digs into my back, but the pain is completely obliterated by the sensations his mouth creates in my body.
And as I’m sinking deeper into him, a voice in my head yells at me to stop and take a step back. Spare the heartbreak and save my sanity. But my heart, my reckless, stubborn, hungry heart shuts it down as my need for him takes over. My feelings for Sol have no pride.
He pulls back a little, brushing his lips on the corner of my mouth as he tames the stormy kiss. “Still starving?” His voice is rough, sending heat pooling in my belly.
“Yes,” I murmur, smiling. “I could survive on your kisses alone, but I need to stock up on energy.”