“Grace, this isn’t something—”
“That many huh?” Grace begins to turn away and I realize I must have offended her.
“No Grace, it’s not that . . . well, I mean, I don’t know what is considered many. I’m just not sure why it’s important to you?”
She sighs and then begins to sit up. She pulls the sheet up over her chest and rests her back against my headboard. I do the same.
“It’s just, you have this . . . reputation. You know, of being a bit of a player. And, I don’t know. I just wanted to know is all. I’m sorry, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
I take Grace’s hand in mine, forcing her to look at me. “Hey, I like you, okay? I really like you. And I’d never cheat, if that’s what you’re afraid of. I know how that feels, to be cheated on and it’s not something I would ever wish on anybody. Now if you’re asking me if I’ve slept with two women at the same time . . .” Grace’s eyes go big. I shake my head and chuckle. God, I love teasing her. “The look on your face right now.”
She swats my shoulder playfully and laughs.
“I was never in a relationship with the girls I slept with, well, other than Jessica. It was just sex. For me and them. They wanted casual, I wanted casual. I want this okay? I want to be with you, just you, for as long as you’ll have me.” Grace lifts her mouth in a sweet smile and nods.
“Okay.”
I give her a quick peck, happy she seems content with that answer and isn’t pushing for more. We lie back down, stretching on the bed and I pull the bed sheet to cover our bodies. I wrap my arm around her and shift closer, and tuck her head into the crook of my neck. Her breathing slows down as if she’s fallen asleep. Allowing my body to relax, I close my eyes.
My eyes flutter open, and I squint against the fall light streaming through the windows. Levi has his leg draped over my thighs, holding me prisoner. His features are relaxed in sleep, his mouth parted slightly as he snores softly next to me. I could look at him all day and not get enough.
What time is it? I must have fallen asleep right after sex.
God, we had sex. And it was amazing. Heat shimmies down my body just remembering what happened. Then I realize I have more pressing matters. I need to pee badly. Careful not to wake him, I manage to maneuver my legs from under his heavy one and roll out of bed. He stirs, muttering sleepily before rolling onto his back and going back to sleep.
Scanning the floor for my clothing, I snatch my shirt and slip it on, then rummage around for my panties, but can’t find them. There’s no way I’m leaving the room butt naked in case I stumble into someone in the hallway and they see my jingly ass. I love it, but that doesn’t mean it’s up for inspection.
I head for the dresser to search for something of Levi’s to wear. I hit the jackpot in the second drawer and grab a pair of checkered boxers. I’m about to shut it when I notice something white peeking from the bottom of the drawer. A paper, I think. I should close the drawer, put on the boxers, and go relieve my poor bladder.
After glancing over my shoulder to make sure he’s still asleep, I tug the corner of the paper and tilt my head to read it. Underneath it lies a photograph of a guy kissing a blond head. Carefully, I slide it forward and turn it to get a better view, and my heart trots faster.
Levi and Jessica. He’s staring down at her in utter adoration while she’s looking at the camera with a dazzling smile on her face. They look gorgeous together. Like they were meant to be.
I press a hand against the burning sensation in my chest. Why does he have this photo? They’re not together anymore. Does he still love her? Want her?
Oh, my God. I’m driving myself crazy with all these thoughts.
What about you? A small voice in my head asks. You’re still in love with Sol. You snuggle with his rosary bracelet, for God’s sake.
I shake my head and quietly push the drawer shut. Levi has a right to do whatever he wants.
Sheets rustle behind me, forcing my feet into action. I put on the boxer shorts just as my phone starts ringing. I retrace my steps back to Levi’s desk, fish out my cell and scamper out the door.
As soon as the door shuts behind me, I swipe my finger on the screen to answer the call.
“Hey, Mom!”
“Hey, Grace. Have you gotten my texts?”
“Um, let me check.” I head to the bathroom and lock the door, then check my phone. I tap the little envelope on top of the screen. There are three new texts from my mom sent before her call. I tap one of the texts, and my heart skips several beats.
Mom: I have news about Sol. Call me.
I read it again, then press the phone to my ear. “What news, Mom? Is he okay?”
“Father Luke dropped by the diner this morning. He says Sol is back in Italy.”
He’s back? “When did he get back?”
“Two weeks ago. The group he was with was based in Northern Uganda. He must have caught malaria, and by the time he got to Rome the incubation period was over.”
I frown. “‘Aren’t there pills that help prevent someone from catching it?”
“Yes,” she says. “Luke hasn’t been able to talk to him yet. He’s been talking to his friend where Sol is staying. I read somewhere the pills are about ninety-five percent effective, but someone has to take them exactly as prescribed.”
Have I been assuming the worst because he hadn’t called or texted me only to find out he’s been sick? I push those thoughts away because the more I think about it, the shittier I feel.
“Are you okay?” Mom asks. “I know you said you’re moving on, but. . .this is Sol. I didn’t want you to find out later and wonder why I didn’t tell you.”
“I’m glad you did,” I say around the lump in my throat. I clear my throat. “Please keep me updated, okay?”
“Of course, sweetheart.”
We talk for a few more minutes before ending the call. I close my eyes and say a silent prayer for Sol’s health and safety. I flip on the tap and splash water on my face, hoping to wipe away any signs of distress, before I walk back to Levi’s room.
My lungs burn from holding my breath, my gaze following Grace as she quietly ducks out the door.
“Fuck,” I mutter, rubbing the heels of my palms over my eyes. The past few seconds flash through my head. My hand shot out, searching for Grace, and when I found her spot empty, I scanned the room and saw her standing at the dresser holding the photo in her hand.
How could I have been so stupid?
After the breakup, I took the image from its frame and slid it under my clothes to avoid looking into those eyes of hers. To stop myself from going back to Jessica and asking her to take me back even though she was already hooking up with the asshole who got her pregnant and ran.
Grace tiptoes back into the room looking distracted, and squats on the floor. I can’t see what she’s doing from here, but her hands move frantically over the floor. She huffs, then mutters, “Stupid underwear.”
I push myself up on one elbow. “Was I that bad?”
Her body jolts upright, causing her to lose her balance and fall on her ass. “What?” She scrambles to her feet with her jeans in one hand and pushes back her hair from her face with the other.