“I was wondering what counts.” She touched her wineglass to his.
He made a face. “The first night doesn’t. I’m sorry about that.”
“It’s okay. You don’t have to keep apologizing.” She touched his hand, and he turned it over to lace their fingers together.
Her heart fluttered its way into the base of her throat. She forced it back down. No point in drooling all over the table.
“How’s your mom doing?” she asked.
“Good. She texted to ask about you two or three times in the last week. I think she wants to see you again.”
“That’s sweet,” Viv giggled. “I really like her.”
“It’s mutual.”
“How long has she lived in that house?”
“Mm…” He sipped his wine and thought about it. “Two years? Three? I’m not that good with time. I saved up a long time for that house. Wanted to make sure we could get it, cash. Didn’t want her stressing about a mortgage.”
Her ears perked up. “You bought her the house?”
He nodded like it was no big deal.
“Wow,” she said. “You really are an amazing son.”
“She deserves it. Especially after all she did to support me on her own.”
“Right,” she said. “For sure. It’s just… impressive. Especially that you paid cash.”
“I guess you can chalk that up to growing up poor. My mom had to take out a lot of loans. She was in debt for a number of years. I always wanted to avoid that.”
“I remember you said she always wanted to live by the beach.” Using one finger, Viv traced a line up his forearm. “You made that happen for her. Her biggest dream.”
“She would probably say her biggest dream was for me to be happy.” A look of sadness crossed his face, but a second later and it was gone.
Not for the first time, she wondered what he wasn’t saying. He was such an expressive guy, and his features spoke volumes.
“How about your mom?” he asked, before she could dig further into his past. “You said she retired to Mexico?”
“Yeah.”
She drew her hand back and placed her folded arms on the table. She could touch him all night, but wasn’t sure how he felt about constant PDA.
“She loves it there. She’s also pretty great. I miss her a lot.”
She had to stop herself from sighing over that. “When I was younger, we didn’t always get along. There was a lot of fighting.”
“Can I ask what over?”
Viv pressed the tip of her tongue to her back teeth. Maybe she shouldn’t have brought that up. Then again, being uncomfortable with some parts of her past didn’t mean that she could keep it all from him.
And it wasn’t like she had any big, bad secrets to hide. There were merely things she didn’t like thinking about.
“When she left my dad, I was furious. I didn’t understand why they couldn’t work through things.” She scoffed. “But what did I know? I was a kid. I thought the things he’d done were no big deal. Worst of all, I thought that he would actually change, like he said he would.”
Markus’ voice was soft. “What did he do?”
She took a long drink of wine for bravery. “He was a crook. Started with robbing pawn shops. A bank here and there. He didn’t get pinned for those things, though. Not immediately. After he was arrested for counterfeiting money, some of his past deeds came out. Not all of them, I’m sure, though he said there’s nothing else.”
She shook her head, disgusted. “Anyway, I kind of stayed on his side until sometime in high school. Crazy, right? I believed him when he said he was sorry for everything.”
Markus sat frozen on the other side of the table, his face pale. “Maybe he was sorry.”
“I doubt it. Here’s the thing, he always said that. Long before he got the decades-long sentence he has now. Sorry for this, sorry for that. He lived by the adage ‘better to ask for forgiveness than permission.’ It took me a while, but I finally saw the light. I had to grow up a little first, I guess.”
Silence followed her spiel and made her back tingle in an uncomfortable way, like that feeling you get when you’re being watched. She took another sip of wine, then put the glass down.
Enough drinking to get through an uncomfortable conversation. She was an adult, now. Not the confused kid that a man who should have been more mature had taken advantage of.
And the word “advantage” felt right. He’d taken advantage of his family’s love. What was sadder than that?
“I’m really sorry,” Markus said. “Clearly, he couldn’t see the good he had right in front of him.”
“Yeah.” A lump formed in her throat. “But it doesn’t matter. I have Veronica. My mom. Friends.”
Even if they were often busy with their own lives.
She took a deep breath and continued. “And now I’m doing something I’ve wanted to do for years. I’m taking the plunge.”
“Here’s to that.” He raised his wine glass again, and they toasted once more.
“I just want to be happy,” she said. “To feel like I’ve found my place in the world. Is that too vague?”
“No,” he said right away. “I don’t think so. Everyone wants that.”
“I only wish I knew exactly where it was.”
“Join the club,” he said on a laugh.
Viv grinned at him over her wine glass, but though they talked about happiness and meaning like they were these distant, hard to attain things, she couldn’t help but feel she was closer to them than ever before.
Maybe the road to them started with little actions. Quitting a job that held you down for years. Having dinner with a man who made your heart beat fast and your tongue get all tied.
Maybe all that was needed in order to be truly happy was to put one foot in front of the other, always doing that next thing that felt right, and forgetting about the outcome.
Well, if that was the case, she felt successful already.
Chapter 8
Markus
As they left the restaurant, Viv’s hand brushed his and he took the opportunity to wrap his arm around her waist. Tilting her head up, she gave him a smile that dazzled.
“Wait one second,” Markus said. Stopping in the middle of the parking lot, he pulled her to his chest and kissed her deeply.
She melted in his arms, her hands pressed against the back of his neck. Someone driving by whistled, but they ignored it.
With Viv in his arms, it was like nothing else existed.
Breaking the kiss, he looked down at her. “I couldn’t wait to do that.”
“Mm. I’m glad.” She bit into her plump bottom lip.
“Come to my place. Please.” His palms traveled down her sides and found her hands. “It’s only a few minutes from here.”
“I would love to.”
His chest swelled at her words, and, his hand in hers, they walked to the car.
He felt awful keeping the biggest secret of his life from her, but what was he supposed to do?
Walk away. Let her be before things got messy and they became too involved for comfort.