Viv’s stomach twisted, and not from morning sickness. It had been several weeks since she’d last had a bout of that.
Climbing from the bed, she trudged into the bathroom and turned on the light. Some things were the same: the bags under her eyes that she’d grown accustomed to. The way her shoulders drooped.
But one thing was different. The lower part of her stomach stuck out.
With a slight gasp, she put her hand on her belly. The night before, she’d thought a bump might have begun, but it didn’t seem likely. Now, it appeared she’d popped a little bit literally overnight.
The doorbell ringing drew her away from her reflection and into the living room. Opening the door, she found Tracey, already done up for the day in makeup and a designer tracksuit.
“Oh, honey,” she said. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”
“No, no. I was up.”
Viv swiped a hand across her face. She was exhausted, but she’d also lost her taste for coffee weeks ago. The smell alone made her gag. Not like she could have any if she wanted to, anyway.
“I know I’m a little earlier than I said I’d be, but…” She trailed off and stared at Viv’s belly. “Well, look at that.”
“Yeah.” Viv touched her slight bump. “I didn’t think I’d show this early.”
“Every woman is different. With Markus, I swear, I looked pregnant from the first day. I looked and felt like a whale.”
“I’m sure you were beautiful.” Viv turned for her bedroom and called over her shoulder. “I only need a few minutes to get ready.”
In her bedroom, she dumped her pajamas in the hamper and pulled on jeans. The first top her hand stopped on was an oversized, loose one. Right before putting it on, she paused. Putting the shirt back in the drawer, she grabbed a snug, white tee.
It was her first day with a baby bump. She wanted to show it off. Even if it did look more like she carried a food baby than a human baby.
As she ran a brush through her hair, she smiled. It felt cleansing to have something to be excited about.
Over the last two months, a lot had been new. She’d started working at Bea’s, she’d had several prenatal appointments, and Tracey had quickly become the most meaningful person in her life. But none of those things had brought the spark back into her life.
Maybe, though, this baby would do exactly that.
Her teeth brushed and her hair piled in a loose bun, she went to the front of the apartment and found Tracey running the dishwasher.
“Oh, you don’t have to do that.”
Tracey waved her hand dismissively.
“I want to. Pregnancy is tiring. Plus, you’re working and worrying, and, you know…” She clutched the counter, her lips pressing together. “Today is his birthday,” she whispered.
Viv stepped into the kitchen and put a hand on Tracey’s back. “Yeah.”
Tracey wiped at tears. “They never stop being your baby, in a way.”
“I kind of like hearing that. I’ve wanted to be a mother for the longest time, and I don’t think I’ll ever want this little one to grow up.”
“You’ll be an amazing mother.” Tracey blinked away the last of her tears and straightened up. “Let’s get to the hospital. Markus is probably wondering where we are.”
At the car, Viv was surprised to find several balloons crammed into the backseat, each of them proclaiming “Happy Birthday!”
“Those are cute.” She swatted a balloon back so she could buckle up.
“It’s kind of a tradition. I always send him balloons on his birthday. I wanted to bring them right to him this year, though, instead of, you know, sending them to the hospital.”
Viv squeezed Tracey’s shoulder. “It’s really nice.”
“I was thinking, maybe later you and I could do some baby shopping. I read about this new boutique. It’s all organic and from small businesses.”
“You don’t think it’s a little early, since we don’t know if it’s a boy or girl yet?”
“Pfft.” Tracey shook her head. “Please. Who determined what makes pink a girl color and blue a boy color, anyway? What’s the point of limiting artistic expression all because of gender?”
“I love you, Tracey.” Viv laughed.
The older woman smiled at her. “I love you too, doll.”
At this point, the drive to the hospital was so familiar that Viv could have taken it with her eyes closed. After finding a spot in the parking deck, they said good morning to the staff who had all become staples in their lives and took the elevator up to Markus’ room.
“Knock, knock,” Tracey sang out as she entered the room, balloons clutched in her hand. “Happy birthday, Markus!”
Viv followed at a slower pace. Tracey always spoke to Markus like he could hear her. While some days Viv followed suit, other days her doubts got the best of her and she wondered if they were wasting their time even visiting.
“Viv is here, too,” Tracey said. “Of course. And we brought you balloons. They all say happy birthday, but one is rainbow, one is red and blue, and the other looks like the sun. I’m tying them to the foot of your bed.”
Viv took the chair next to Markus’ bed. His hair had grown long over the last two months. A nurse had cut it once for him, but he was due for another trim. Reaching up to his forehead, she pushed his bangs back.
“And Ryder is coming later,” Viv added.
She figured she might as well jump on the positivity wagon for the day. Even if being that optimistic sometimes hurt her heart the most.
Tracey settled into the chair on the other side of the bed. “Viv and I are going shopping later. We’re going to get some cute baby things.” She looked over at Viv. “Have you thought any about the nursery yet?”
“Not really.”
What she’d been thinking about was Ryder’s offer to take the diamond money. With it, she could buy a sweet little cottage like Tracey’s. Maybe even get one in the same neighborhood, so her child could live down the street from their grandmother.
With a house completely paid off, she could stay at any job she wanted, which meant continuing to work at the florist. Between all the help Tracey and Veronica had already offered, she and the baby would have a very comfortable life.
It would be the most positive start Viv could think of in the light of losing Markus.
Tears leaked from her eyes, and she bowed her head. She didn’t want Tracey to see her giving up, but how long could she hold onto this charade for? It had begun to eat her from the inside.
“Viv?” Tracey asked.
“I’m sorry,” she croaked. No more running from the truth. “I can’t do this anymore.”
Tracey said nothing. She understood exactly what Viv was saying.
Taking Markus’ hand in hers, Viv sniffled. “I love you, Markus. I’ll never stop loving you. You will always be a part of mine and the baby’s lives.”
Tracey grabbed a tissue from the side table and dabbed at her eyes.
Viv continued, “Even if… even if that means we have to move on.”
She bowed her head and caught sight of the new baby bump she’d forgotten about. Guiding Markus’ hand, she set it against her stomach.