I whooped and wanted to point at Tristan with an in your face gesture, but when I looked at him, he was smiling. He reached into his pocket and produced his own Get Out of Jail Free card. He lifted one eyebrow, like he knew something I didn’t. What was he up to?
Miranda handed me my card, and I waved it above my head, like I was Link from Zelda collecting a prize. At least I’d bought myself an extra week, maybe even catapulted myself to the final night of the contest. And Tristan would have to burn his card to move on. Still, I didn’t like that he seemed to think tonight had gone according to his plans.
I walked over to his table and leaned into his space. “You play dirty.”
He stood up. “You made it necessary.”
We were inches apart, and the virtual sorceress I played online came to life. I dared him to touch me. I had enough power surging through me, I could summon a magical ball of electrical wrath and torch him where he stood.
My wagging finger would have to suffice. “This is just like what you did to me during that other contest.”
He shook his head. “I’ve told you, that wasn’t me.”
I snorted. “Yeah, like I’m going to believe that after tonight. You clearly have no qualms about cheating.”
“Cheating? How can you cheat when there aren’t any rules?”
“You knew you were crossing a line.” My hands clenched into fists. “But you miscalculated. I didn’t drop out. I won.”
“You think I wanted you to drop out?” He tilted his head, and the room spun.
“What are you talking about?”
“This wasn’t about the contest.”
I narrowed my eyes. “What did you do?”
“I took out a different competitor.” Never had a smug face needed so much smiting. “When I said, ‘Let the best man win,’ I wasn’t talking about you.”
“You . . .” I was at a loss. “What?”
“Last week, I thought you and I had something going on, some momentum. Without any warning, I’m suddenly in competition with this guy you’ve never looked at twice.”
I was still catching up. “You’re jealous?”
“Pssh. Why would I be jealous of him? Besides, he’s ceded the field of battle.” He grinned like he’d just unlocked a new level of Candy Crush. “It’s just me, now.”
I tried to piece together the shrapnel of my world exploding. My heart clenched tight in my chest at the possibility he might have succeeded in his diabolical plan.
I swung around to scan the room. “Alfie.”
I’d been so mired in my own humiliation, I hadn’t remembered he’d been thrown under Tristan’s bus, too.
I abandoned Tristan and pushed past huddled merrymakers until I got to the bar, but Alfie wasn’t there. I poked my head in the kitchen and only found a cook I’d never met.
Maybe Alfie hadn’t heard Tristan’s bullshit. I continued through to the back stairs, panic spurring me faster. Alfie didn’t deserve the kind of bullshit Tristan had manufactured. I took the steps two at a time and pounded on his door until he cracked it.
“Sierra.” He looked down but didn’t open the door any wider.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I’m fine. But can you give me some space? I just want to be alone right now.”
“No, Alfie.” I leaned my head on the doorjamb. “Please. Let me in.”
I must have been certain he’d turn me away because a sob escaped me when he stepped away from the door, leaving it open behind him, like it didn’t matter either way.
I wasn’t about to let slip the chance, and I followed him in to the dark apartment to where he sat on the sofa, a bottle of scotch on the coffee table.
He poured a finger of scotch into a tumbler. “This is probably a bad idea.” He swilled the liquid and took a sip, grimacing.
I sat beside him. “Are you mad at me?”
He frowned. “Of course not. But Tristan pisses me off, and I needed to leave. It’s not a great idea to punch a patron.”
When his eyes met mine, I saw the hurt his casual tone was covering. “Alfie. I don’t know what Tristan is up to, but he basically admitted he wants to put a wrench between us. He’s lying. He set this whole thing up to get just this effect. He made up that entire incident.”
He snorted and shot me a devastating look. “No, Sierra. He didn’t.”
“How would you—?” I gasped when it hit me. “You were there? We really kissed?”
He pressed his thumb and forefinger into his eyelids for a moment before he responded. “Everyone went out that night, just like you said. I ran into you, and we hung out for a while. Do you remember that?” I shook my head. “It was one of those nights when you move from one group to another, so I’m not surprised if I don’t stick out in your memory.”
“I’d also been drinking, Alfie.”
He looked into his scotch glass. “When I saw you kissing Tristan . . .”
“You can’t think—”
“I don’t care about that. It’s your right to kiss whoever you want, and I know you never gave me that look. But he did, always finding ways to crush me.” His fist clenched. “He knew I liked you, and that if I saw you kissing him, it would be a dagger.”
“Alfie.”
“Tristan might be embellishing his journals, but there’s an element of truth, and I can’t shake how small he made me feel. I thought I’d gotten over that.”
“That was so long ago. You have to know it has nothing to do with who we are now.”
“I know. I do. It’s a whole bunch of shit I need to sort through, which is why I wanted to be alone right now.” He pierced me with his galactic eyes. He picked up his drink and took a sip. “It’s funny because I honestly hadn’t actively thought about that night in ages. It’s not your fault, but I think my body recorded that feeling in my muscles somehow, which might be why I’ve had a hard time feeling like I could trust this.” He pointed between us.
I understood too well how the body could hold on to emotions the mind had reconciled, but I hated that an ancient pain that had no bearing on us now was coming between us.
“Are you repulsed by me?”
He looked at me like I was crazy. “Never. That’s not at all what I meant. I’m just . . .” He sank into the sofa and closed his eyes. “I’m not good company tonight. Thanks for coming to check on me, but could you give me a little time? I hate that you’re seeing me like this.”
My throat hurt from the scream I was repressing. There was nothing more I could say right now. I wanted to yell at him to fight whatever demon he’d summoned, fight for me, but this was his battle. “Sure.” I picked up my bag to go. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Maybe.” He gave me a sad smile, but this was clearly the best he could do.
I left Alfie to his self-imposed grief and took the stairs two at a time, nurturing my own mounting rage. I was going to murder Tristan for detonating a buried land mine that could have slumbered on forever without hurting anyone.
The place was still fairly busy, and I located Tristan hanging out near the bar. I walked straight up to him and poked his shoulder. “You’re a complete douchebag. You know that?” I crossed my arms. “You ended up hurting the one person here who doesn’t deserve it.”