He scoffed. “Me? You’re the one who wrote everything I said.”
“Are you shitting me, you liar? You have no right to be sabotaging my relationships. No. Right.”
“I’m doing you a favor. The guy’s a joke. You know you deserve better than him.” His smile made me wish my backpack contained an arsenal of weaponry. What I wouldn’t have given for a doom hammer right about then.
“You think you’re better than him?” I laughed derisively.
“Obviously.” He sipped his bottle of pretentious beer. “You and I are the same, Sierra. We’re warriors. Where’s your boyfriend right now? Why isn’t he down here standing by you?”
It bothered me that he echoed my own doubts, but it didn’t make him right.
“You’re a jerk.” I slung my backpack higher on my shoulder.
“Just winnowing the competition.”
“I’m not a prize!” I threw my hands out and yelled, “Argh! You haven’t changed one bit in the past ten years. Is winning all you care about?”
He threw up his hands like I’d physically threatened him. “Whoa. It’s just a game. You gave as good as you got.”
“You know, it’s not a game. You’re messing with my real life. And you hurt someone.”
He snorted. “Like you just tried to hurt me?”
I started to say, “Well, you started it,” and realized we sounded like a couple of bratty children. Talking to him was pointless. “I’m going home.”
He slid off the barstool. “At least let me walk you home.”
I glared at him. “I don’t need an escort, thank you very much.”
“Whatever.” He turned halfway around. “When you come to your senses, you know where to find me.”
“The next time I see you, it will be to bury you.”
“You can try.” He grinned. “You can fail.”
“Next week, I’ll show everyone who you really are.” I gave him that same exact smug grin he was so fond of.
He laughed like I’d said the punch line to a hilarious joke we were both in on. “Next week is going to be interesting, then.”
“Why?”
He cocked a brow, and it annoyed me that he thought he was so amusing. “What? And ruin the suspense?”
He skipped away, swallowed up by the other patrons until all I could see was the blond top of his head as he settled himself back at the bar.
I needed to find a magic spell I could utter to bring him down. And I thought I might have just the one.
Chapter 24
One minute into Child pose, my brain caught up to my emotions.
My yoga moms had all asked me whether Alfie would be joining us. I didn’t want to tell them I hadn’t heard from him since the night before. I was a little miffed at him for sulking over the past, considering things had obviously been so good between us this past week.
Sitting perfectly still, focusing on releasing the stress in each muscle, calmed the raging currents and brought clarity.
Ten things I knew to be true:
One: Tristan had stolen a page from my journal.
Two: The entry he’d read had been rooted in truth.
Three: I’d kissed Tristan even if I didn’t remember it.
Four: Tristan and I had both hurt Alfie.
Five: Alfie’s hurt was valid. There was no moratorium on psychological scars. I mean, I still held a grudge against Tristan for what he’d done to me so long ago.
Six: Alfie hadn’t acted out on his feelings other than to take a time-out.
Seven: Tristan had acted out on his feelings, recklessly.
Eight: I missed Alfie.
Nine: I needed to convince him he could trust me, rewrite his muscle memory.
Ten: I was going to destroy Tristan.
I left yoga resolved in my goals. I showered and changed into a pair of boyfriend jeans and a simple scoop-neck T-shirt. I left my hair down and fixed my makeup, only because I’d be onstage again, and this time—shudder—I’d be singing.
When I came upstairs to grab a quick dinner, Aida took one look at me and said, “Where are you going?”
I shoved a plate of leftover lasagna in the microwave and punched the timer. “Karaoke.”
“You?”
While my dinner heated, I joined her at the kitchen table. “Alfie invited me.”
She snorted. “Oh, so all along, all you’ve needed was a magic penis?”
“Excuse me?”
“Some guy comes along and asks you nicely, and you’re ready to jump up and sing in front of strangers?”
“It’s time I leveled up.”
She blinked rapidly. I’d actually managed to shock her. “Really? You think karaoke was the obstacle we were missing all this time?”
“I’m not talking about the demo right now. I fucked up, and I need to go make amends.”
“What happened?”
I filled her in on my current debacle, her eyes widening at each new revelation. “And so, I’m going over to fix things, if it’s not too late.”
“How are you feeling about the demo, now?”
I got up to pour a drink, thinking about everything that had happened in the past few weeks.
“You were right to push me to do the contest. Since everyone is trying to out-shock each other, I’ve become more comfortable.”
She nodded. “I’m glad you’re working it out.”
“Reynold came to see the contest and said I had potential.”
“You do.” She pushed herself up and grabbed her side. “Shit. Ow.”
“What is it? Should I call Marco?”
“I’m fine. Just ready for this demon to be out of me. Sorry, I mean, this beautiful, blessed demon. Who we love very much.” She placed her hands on her back, like she had to physically hold her spine in place. “Good luck with Alfie. He’s a good one.”
I heard the unlike Tristan and didn’t disagree.
The microwave beeped. I ate alone, then went to finish getting ready to go out. My phone buzzed and I grabbed it, thinking it would be Alfie, but Tristan’s name popped up.
Can you meet me tonight?
I stared at it, furious and confused all at once. He didn’t deserve a response, but I wanted to throw my entire arsenal at him.
What do you want?
I want to talk. I miscalculated, and I fucked up.
I’m busy tonight.
I want to apologize. In person. I want you to forgive me.
I considered all the things I could say to him, but suddenly I didn’t care, and it would be easier to forgive him than have him texting me until I did.
Sure, Tristan. All is forgiven. Okay?
Then can I take you out tomorrow?
Did he really think he’d succeeded in wrecking things with Alfie? Then again, maybe he had.
Not interested, Tristan.
I muted my phone. I should have told him to fuck off. I didn’t feel like I’d forgiven him at all.
When I went out for the night, the sun hadn’t begun to set, so I enjoyed a pleasant stroll in the early summer warmth. I was worried Alfie would just decide to cool things off and go back to being friends. I had to hope he was the guy I’d started to trust, the guy I’d started to fall for.
Loud music met me inside the bar, and a cute black man I’d never met filled orders. He couldn’t have been much older than twenty-one. I grabbed a stool and waved awkwardly to him, unsure if I should act like a patron, a regular, or as a friend of the owner.