“I knew you were dealing with your own issues with your dad. I couldn’t be mad at you for not wanting to leave him. I understood completely. But that didn’t change the way I felt. I know you hated me. I hated myself. But I was desperate; please understand that.”
He picks me up, bringing me to his lap and holding my face in both of his hands.
“I was only a kid. I had no idea what to do with your pain.”
He wipes a tear with his thumb.
“I didn’t know how to manage it. If I’m being honest, I’m still hurting.”
“I get it now.” He pauses, staring into my eyes and nodding slightly. “I wish you had talked to me, but I get it. We were young. There was a lot going on, and I knew you were having a hard time with it.”
I bite my lip, and he removes it from my teeth with his other thumb before leaning in to kiss my worries away.
More tears fill my eyes as he shows me his forgiveness with his touch, with his lips, and with his body.
I grip the hem of his shirt and unravel it from his body, running my hands over his firm chest. As our mouths come together again, our clothes are quickly discarded.
I sit on top of him and lower myself onto him, letting him fill me from deep within. I feel that purr from so far inside, asking for more, to go faster, to drive over the edge.
He grips my hips and listens to the sound of my body, giving me what I need.
The car steams up, the outside world a blur as we crash into one another from the front seat of a pickup on the side of a field in the middle of nowhere.
I give in to it all completely, wanting this new memory to wash over me as much as possible before I leave to go back to my reality.
11
Zack
Something happened to Jolene today. I’m not sure what, but when she said Lindsey wanted us to come out, I didn’t ask any questions. We showered and changed, boots and jeans for the both of us, and walked out the door. Stepping into Bud’s is going to be like a high school reunion, and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.
Once we enter the bar in downtown Dixon, I realize it’s a little bit of both. It doesn’t happen immediately, but the farther we walk in, the more heads turn, and everyone stares.
“What’s happening?” Jolene asks, leaning into my side.
“The prodigal daughter has returned,” I whisper into her ear. “You okay?”
Her eyes dance around the people that she hasn’t seen in years who line the bar and tables, looking at her with a mixture of curiosity and surprise—and of course, there are a few who just don’t give a shit.
She raises her brows and weighs the situation. “It’s pretty much the same as when I left. Only difference now is, we’re inside instead of out in a field with KC lighting and a keg being our only choice of alcohol.”
“You came!” Lindsey yells as she raises her arms to give Jolene a hug.
It’s the kind that has her falling back a little as Lindsey puts all her might into the hug. Guys never do that.
Jolene must be enjoying it because she’s smiling from ear to ear, and damn, does she look pretty. She’s had a scowl on more times than not over the last forty-eight hours, and seeing her full lips stretching across her cheeks makes my heart stop.
She walks around the room with Lindsey, saying hello to people she hasn’t seen in years. While she does, I head to the bar and order two beers. With my cold Bud in hand, I lean against the wood and watch my girl.
Chris and Bryan—two guys from my old football team, who I’ve stayed close with—are talking to her. She steps back with a laugh at something said. Another old friend comes over, and the girls squeal at seeing each other for the first time in so long.
She looks good in here. Healthy, radiant. Like she’s back where she belongs.
Kelly, a waitress here and an old friend, appears at my side. “You know she’s only running through here just to break your heart again,” she says.
I look over at Kelly, who’s glancing at Jolene like she’s gonna stab her.
“Hi, Kelly. Good to see you again,” I drawl sarcastically.
She means well, but she has a blunt way of showing it.
“I don’t like her.”
“You didn’t like Natalie either,” I say with a lowered brow.
She shakes her head and grimaces. “She’s flighty.”
“Pun intended?” I joke with her, but she doesn’t seem to want anything to do with my joke.
Instead, she grimaces more. “Why are you so happy? You haven’t been like this in years.”
“Not true. I smile all the time with my kid.”
“Yeah, but you don’t come out to the bar with a woman on line dancing nights. And you certainly don’t make jokes about puns.” Kelly leans an elbow on the bar and faces me fully. “All I’m saying is, be careful. I … care about you.”
I lean back, shaking off her concern. “It’s not like that. What happened between Jolene and me is the past.”
“I’m not talking about the past,” Kelly states. “I’m talking about the now.”
I’d be a complete idiot to not know there’s a lot of territory that needs to be covered between me and Jolene. A good fuck and a … damn, I don’t even know what that was in the car that we did. It was more than sex. It was powerful, and I how can I not see where this thing between us is going.
I take Jolene’s beer and walk over to where she’s holding court around her old Dixon crew. Did I say she looked pretty before? I lied. She’s goddamn hotness personified.
Long legs in her skinny jeans with knee-high boots and a form-fitting tee that shows off that hourglass figure of hers. She wore her hair down tonight. It’s full and wavy as it falls over her shoulders. I have to take a drink of my ice-cold beer to tame my urge to rush up to her and kiss her again.
“What’s your favorite place you’ve been?” Bryan asks her from his seat.
“Italy,” she answers easily. “I absolutely love it there.”
Lindsey jumps up. “What city?”
Jolene’s teeth skim her lip as she looks down and smiles. “Sorrento. All of the Amalfi Coast really. There are these beautiful towns built into the cliffs. Kind of like Laguna Beach in Southern California, but the architecture in the old-world stucco homes and terra-cotta roofs is beautiful. And the lemon trees are gorgeous.”
“That’s where I want to go on my honeymoon,” Lindsey whines and then looks to her fiancé, Chris.
He laughs as he rubs his thumb and fingers together in the universal sign of that’s gonna cost a lot of money.
Bryan tilts his drink to me. “Maybe you can bring Zack there.”
Jolene now notices me standing here. Her eyes meet mine, her shoulders fall, and she beams at the sight, like she didn’t just see me ten minutes ago.
I hand her beer to her. She clinks our bottles and takes a sip.
“Have you ever been anywhere out of state?” she asks me.
I nod. “Just Nevada. Vegas for a bachelor party—”
“That was a good time,” Chris chants, which makes Lindsey slap him on the back side of the head.