“He has it trailered in. Not a big deal.”
I shrug, making fun of what he’s saying. “Yeah, no biggie.”
He narrows his eyes and purses his lips. “Promise you won’t say anything?”
I nod, understanding that Zack giving his secrets is an honor worth keeping.
“It’s cool you’ve brought more work to your dad’s shop then.” I lean down to see what he’s working on.
“Yeah. Austin’s got so many cars; it’s hard to keep track. It’s pretty cool working on more than the Toyota truck or Honda Pilot though.”
“I bet. So, what does that do?” I point to a chrome tube coming out of the engine block.
Zack grins as he busts out his knowledge of how the car engine works with headers and cylinders and more. This car has an engine unlike anything I’ve ever seen, and Zack’s excitement over it is palpable.
“Here.” He hands me a tool and points to something deep within the engine. “You see that knot-looking thing there?”
I nod.
“Place this part around that and twist it until it comes off.”
“Then what?”
“Then, make sure you don’t drop it, or it will get inside the engine and ruin the entire thing.”
I inhale deeply and stand up straight, clutching the tool to my chest.
He laughs. “Just kidding. If you drop it, it’s okay. You just have to crawl under the car to get it.”
I playfully eye him and stand on my tiptoes to get a better look at what I’m going to do.
He steps back, and I pause.
“Are you checking out my ass?”
He lets out a hearty laugh. Nodding his head, he says, “No.”
I chuckle under my breath as he gets a serious expression.
“Did you ever learn to drive a stick like you said you would?”
I tilt my head and give him a duh expression through my lashes. “Did you miss the part that I live in New York City? I haven’t driven a car since I left here. Let alone a stick.”
He drops the rag on the table next to him. “Then, let’s go.” He yells to his dad, who’s sitting in the office, talking to a customer, “Dad, we’ll be right back.”
Zack raises his eyebrows with a shit-eating grin across his face as I shake my head, asking, “Go where?”
“You promised you’d learn to drive a stick shift.”
I step back and hold up my hands, one still having the tool pinched between my fingers. “Oh no. We’re not going down that road again.”
He wraps his arms around me, basically carrying me out of the shop and to a truck that’s sitting on the side of the building. Just the sight of it makes me stop in my tracks.
“You don’t …” I inhale sharply, seeing the truck that was our escape from life.
The one he took me on our first date in, the one he told me he loved me in, and the one where we lost our virginity to each other.
“How does this old thing still run?” I ask as I slowly make my way to the ’76 Chevy Stepside truck.
He opens the door, and the scent that greeted me every day years ago fills my senses. The truck hasn’t changed one bit. The bench seat still has the same almost-wool-like material that covers it and warms my heart.
Memories of him taking my hands and placing them above my head, having me grip the seat as he took control of my body, flash through my head. We’ve had some amazing times in this truck but some awful ones too.
The last time I spoke to him before I took off was in this truck. It was here where he told me he needed to stay for his dad and where I decided that if I didn’t leave that night, I’d go crazy. I needed out, and if he wasn’t going to understand that, then I’d have to leave him behind too.
I’ve thought about that night many times. Knowing it was the last time I’d sit in his truck, be by his side, and kiss his lips was painful. But what was even worse was knowing he had no clue I was leaving.
I’ve hated myself for doing that to him, but I had no choice.
Staring at the truck now brings every doubt I had of that night back. At least one thing I thought that night has turned out wrong.
It wasn’t the last time I saw him.
I slide into the seat, and instead of closing the door behind me, he hits my thigh with the back of his hand, motioning for me to scoot over.
I turn to him in fear. “I can’t pull out of here. If you’re going to make me do this, at least get us to a dirt road, so I don’t hit anything.”
He laughs and then agrees. He closes the door before heading to the driver’s side of the truck.
He cranks the engine, and the roar of it coming to life does the same to my memories. The day he got his license was a huge celebration for us. He drove me to Putah Creek, and we climbed down to a spot where we could be alone and lie in each other’s arms all day. At that point, we hadn’t had sex yet, and I remember the butterflies that stormed between us both as we questioned if we were ready.
Zack moves the floor stick shift to the reverse position and turns around, backing the massive hunk of steel out of the space, through the alley behind the garage, and out onto the street.
I roll down the window with the hand knob and rest my elbow on the empty metal. I take in my small town that passes by, and it feels like I’m seventeen again, trying to figure out my life and what I’m going to do.
I glance at Zack, moving my hair out of my face as I turn his direction and my hair blows in response.
He pulls down a dirt road and puts the truck in park. “Okay, do you remember anything I taught you?”
He points to the extra pedal on the floorboard. “This is the clutch. You have to push it in whenever you move the shifter.”
I nod.
“The tricky thing is to feather the clutch and the gas. Make sure to let off the clutch while pushing the gas at the same time.” He demonstrates with his hands, pretending they’re his feet and showing me what he means.
I nod once more and nudge him to scooch out of the car, so I can slide over to the driver’s seat.
Instead of getting out of the truck and walking to the other side, he grips my waist and hoists me on top of his lap, gliding me over him. When I’m directly on top of him, he pauses, wrapping his hands around my ass and whispering in my ear, “Don’t overthink it. Just let it go with the flow. Eventually, things will even out, and you’ll be moving forward.”
His words feel like they mean so much more than driving his stick shift, but that’s probably my girl mind reading too much into what was said.
I lean down and place a soft kiss on his lips before climbing off of him. I hear his soft groan as he slides to the passenger side of the car.
I get behind the steering wheel and grip it between my fingers, willing myself to go with the flow as I remember his instructions.
“Release the brake right there.” He points to the lever. “And make sure to keep your foot on the brake because the truck is in neutral. When you’re ready, press the clutch in and put it in first gear.”
I bite the inside of my cheek as I do what he said, trying not to shake with nerves when I press the clutch in. I place my hand on the shifter, and when it’s in gear, I slowly press the gas as I let out the clutch.
The entire truck jerks forward, and I feel like it’s throwing me into the steering wheel before it dies completely.