“Stop, Linc.”
Her voice is strained and full of pain and regret, but I’m lost in my rage. “What the hell are you going to do when he finally gives in and wants to fuck you and finds out you didn’t wait?”
“It’s not like he’ll be doing a hymen check. I don’t think he’ll know.”
“I felt it.” I watch her gulp. My hand slides over her arm, and I watch goosebumps slide over her skin. “When I slid inside of you and pushed through the last bit of innocence you had, I felt you give yourself to me, P. Not him.”
“Stop.” She steps back, and I see the contempt she feels for me. “You need to leave me alone. It won’t do any good telling him what we did. I’ll figure it out myself.”
“Any good for you?”
“For any of us. You think we can come back from that, Linc? We can’t. No one can. Your whole family will be torn apart, for what? So we can feel slightly better? I can’t and won’t do that. It’s a secret I’m willing to keep even if it kills me.”
“So, you’re just going to pretend like last night didn’t happen?”
She leans down, picking up her sunglasses and sliding them back over her eyes before turning back to me, her chin lifted up. “I wish it hadn’t.”
She turns and goes inside, her cloak back in place, going back to being his Pea.
Me too, but it fucking did, and now all I want is for her to hurt like I do.
I can’t stop thinking about Linc being in the lake earlier this morning, the way he looked up at the sky, completely unmoving.
Does he do that often?
I can barely stand to be near the water anymore, but he immersed himself all the way to his neck and lay there, drifting. He looked calm in the water, but as he approached me, I could see he was ready for battle like he always is with me, especially after prom night a year ago.
He hates me.
I don’t blame him.
And he’s right. I like the pain. I lay on my bed and stare up at the ceiling, knowing there is probably something I should be doing now but not wanting to move.
I turn my head, listless and having to force myself to make that simple movement to look out the window, seeing that the sun is now setting in the sky.
I hear the front door close and know Linc is home, but I’m not sure where he was. I want more punishment. I want to feel something, and pain seems to be the only emotion that registers these days.
My bedroom door is open, and I hear him walking down the hall, knowing this is my chance.
I’m sure he’s still pissed from our argument this morning. For all I know, he’s coming back from being in some other girl’s bed, but I don’t care. Maybe that would make it hurt more.
I lie flat on my bed, facing the door, wearing what I picked out just for him and this moment, a sheer black and white, silky robe left open and a matching lacy black bra and thong.
My hand slides over the tops of my breasts as I listen to his shoes on the wood floor in the hallway and then see his shadow before I see him, his large body crowding my doorway as he stops but doesn’t say a word.
It doesn’t surprise me. He has control.
I push the left side of the robe open further and slip my hand down over my bare stomach as he watches me. What the hell do I have to lose anymore?
He already hates me. Colt is gone. Nora and Lola don’t know anything real and are stuck in their own personal hell because of me.
My hand dips under my panties, sliding underneath to my bare pussy as my eyes connect with him. “It’s your turn to watch.”
His eyes stay trained on me as I run my other hand over my breasts, sliding under one cup of the bra. He walks into my room, his face dark and ominous as he stalks to the bed, his body looming over mine. “I’ve never been one to sit back. I’d rather take what I want.”
I know that’s meant to sting, but it’s the truth. I remove both hands, propping myself up on my elbows and parting my thighs. “So, then take.”
I can feel his irritation as his body moves over mine, those eyes fixed on my own before his mouth moves to my jaw, kissing and sucking his way down before he uses one hand to pin both my wrists above my head.
“You want pain?”
I nod my head once, unable to shake the rush of fear I feel looking into his eyes. “Yes.”
“That’s what you want, P? You want me to fucking hurt you over and over again? Leave a mark on your soul?”
His free hand moves between us, pushing inside my panties. “Yes.”
“You want us both to suffer for one night of pleasure?”
“We should. Everyone else is.”
I feel his fingers slide through my now wet folds before finding my clit, circling around it and making my hips buck up, wanting so much more and hating myself for it.
“That’s right. We had sex when you and Colt broke up, and then somehow, everything that happened after that was all on us.”
My thighs clench together as I feel the pleasure rising when he punishes my clit and his arm pushes my leg down toward the bed, granting him better access as his hand holds my wrists in a tight grip. “It was just a stupid fight with him.”
His lips hover over mine, and his voice is all gravel. “When he called you dirty and wouldn’t fuck you, made you feel like trash.”
I revolt against a sob, hating the truth, despising how Colt made me feel that night. My hips thrust forward when he slips a finger deep inside me and then pulls it back only to thrust inside me again, then moving back to my clit, pushing me toward the edge of release. “He was still my boyfriend. I owed him more than going straight to his brother.”
He nips on my bottom lip and tugs with his teeth before growling, “And what did you do with his brother?”
I barely recognize him. I see the torture on his face and know this is killing him too, reliving that night. And I’m so fucking twisted, I can feel the gratification rising low in my belly. My eyes meet his. “I fucked him.”
My hands jerk as I feel the orgasm coming, but he holds onto my wrists tightly and then stops moving his hand, pulling a whimper from my throat. “Linc, don’t stop. I’m there.”
The smirk on his face is sinister. “You wanted pain.”
“I still want to come.”
“What’s the fun in that, P?”
He moves his hands out of my panties, and I grind my hips forward, trying to get some friction, anything to push myself over the ledge he left me on. “Linc . . .”
“What’s the matter?”
I glare at him, fire burning inside as I’m dying for release. “Let go of me so I can finish myself.”
He doesn’t budge, his body on top of me and my wrist in his hands. “Be patient, P. We have all night, don’t we? Hell, we have a whole lifetime.”
“Fuck you.”
It’s not intelligent and does no good, but my body writhes under him, begging for the release that was promised. He only smirks.
“Linc what are you going to do? Hold me here all night?”
“Maybe.”
“What can I do?” I’m not past bargaining at this point. “What do you want? Me not to offer sex anymore?”
He laughs, but it’s not funny, and we both know it. “Are you even capable of that? I seem to be your favorite toy.”