I sit outside on the front porch, looking out over the water and drinking coffee, thinking bitterly about the last few days.
We were doing so fucking well.
I hear the door to the house open but don’t look up. “Are you okay?”
P walks out, her hair in a haphazard bun, wearing my t-shirt, not his. She has a coffee mug in her hands as she sits in the chair next to me, pulling her feet into the chair and tugging the shirt down over her bare legs. “I’m fine.”
She points to my cheek, where she slapped me yesterday. “I shouldn’t have hit you.”
“I’m fine.” I turn to look at her. “Really. Not the first time I’ve been bitch-slapped and probably not the last.”
She takes a sip from the mug, holding it with both of her small hands. “Where did you go yesterday?”
“To Kansas City to take a DNA test.” I leave out that after that, I went to see my father.
I take a drink from my coffee, and her eyes still on my hand. “What happened?”
Fuck, I forgot my hand is bruised from its meeting with my asshole father’s face. “Nothing.”
“Linc . . .”
She’s not going to drop it. “I punched a prick in the face. One who deserved it.”
“Who?” She looks confused as a familiar car pulls up.
We both look at Lola as she flies out of her car and up the stairs, hands in the air. “You punched Dad?”
“What?” Now Penelope looks horrified. “Why would you hit your father?”
Well, shit. I could probably have handled one pain in the ass this morning but not both. I look up at Lola and sigh, nodding to the bench on the porch across from the chairs. “Sit.”
And of course, she doesn’t. She just lifts her golden sunglasses to sit on top of her head and places a hand on her hip. “What’s going on?”
Penelope stares at me as she sits the mug on the table in between the chairs. “Linc?”
I look at my sister, handling her first. “Colt had sex with a chick from school. He got Vivienne Crenshaw pregnant right before he died.”
I can feel P flinch even though I’m not looking at her. Lola sits down on the bench now, gasping deeply, “What?” She turns to P. “You didn’t know?”
Penelope shakes her head. “No. I knew he was acting strange, but I had no idea he cheated.”
Lola shakes her head, her hand gripping her hair at the roots. “No. He would not do that to Penelope.”
I swallow the tension and try to remember to breathe. It’s all so fucking unreal. “He did. I took a DNA test yesterday, which she had no objections to because she’s certain.”
“Did it come back yet?”
I shake my head at my sister, feeling P’s eyes on me. “No, but you should see this kid. He’s Colt’s.”
Lola is shaking her head in a robotic gesture, and I know she’s in complete shock. “He wouldn’t do that to her.”
“He did.”
I’m an asshole, but I think we need to get out of the denial phase.
“Why did you hit Dad, then?”
Not surprisingly, he didn’t tell her. I turn my head slowly to look at P, knowing this next part is going to hurt, but I can’t keep it from her. It’s not fair for her not to have the whole story. Colt did that to her. I won’t.
“Colt went to Dad to tell him he was going to propose.” Penelope’s jaw drops, and I hear Lola make a quick gasp as I turn to look at her. “You knew?”
Lola nods her head. “Not that he was going to tell Dad, but that he was going to propose.” She turns to Penelope. “He wanted me to help him pick out the ring. We were going to wait until I was home for the summer.”
P looks like she’s going to be sick as she holds her balled up hand to her chest. “He wanted to get married?”
Lola nods again. “Yes. He loved you, Penelope. That’s why none of this makes sense.”
Lola doesn’t understand, but I see the realization come over P’s beautiful face as she looks at me. “Your dad didn’t like the idea, did he?”
I shake my head. “No. He’s an asshole.”
Penelope stands up, and it rips my heart out to watch the spiral before me and know I can’t do anything about it right now, not with my sister right here. Plus, I’m not sure anything I could do would help.
“He didn’t think I was good enough for Colt.”
It’s not a question. Her face pales, and she looks vulnerable, gazing out at the water. “He didn’t. But he was wrong. He’s the trash, not you.”
Lola stands and walks to P, her hand squeezing her shoulder. “Penelope, none of us thought that about you.”
“That’s why he cheated.” She looks past Lola at me. “This Vivienne, she went to school with you guys? I’m assuming her family is like yours.”
I give a curt nod, my hand dragging over my trimmed beard. “Yes.”
“So, she was the type of woman your father wanted him with?”
I stand up. “I don’t give a fuck what my father wanted, and Colt shouldn’t have either.”
Lola still seems to be in denial. “Maybe this girl is lying. I just . . . even being mad at Dad, I can’t imagine him doing this.”
“You’re not helping.”
A tear slides down P’s cheek. “He did, Lola.” Her voice is sad and barely above a whisper. “He wouldn’t touch me. I wanted to. He didn’t because he was always fighting the battle, knowing your father wouldn’t approve. I was just forbidden fruit he was tempted to taste and never did.”
“P.” I reach for her, but she dodges away from me and grabs the door handle.
“I need to be alone.”
She walks inside, and Lola sits back down on the bench, her face showing how lost and confused she is. “You love her?”
I take a seat and sigh, tired of fighting it. “What does it matter?”
“It matters.”
I turn to look out over the horizon, my throat bobbing with anxiousness. “Yes.” My gaze returns to my sister. “But she’s still my brother’s girl, whether he’s dead or not.”
“I’m not sure that was ever really true, Lincoln.”
“Of course, it was. They dated for a long time, Lola. She was his.”
She shakes her head, her eyes lifting to meet mine with dead seriousness. “So, it was fine when he was alive?”
I stare at her, her words holding ammunition. “Do all my sibling spy on me?”
First Ash, now Lola. Both acting like they know more than they ever let on before.
“No, we just paid attention. I saw the looks. Every look. Every touch. The longing. I know you loved her from the day you brought her home.” I watch her tear up, and her words come out strained. “And I know she’s been conflicted since that day.”
P’s words from the day at the dock ring in my ears. “Fell in love with them both.”
“At least when he was alive, he could kick my ass when I had it coming. I can’t win by default.”
She stands up, a finger pointed in my direction. “It’s always about the competition. You know, Lincoln, you’re twenty-one. You’re graduating from college soon. You need to grow up.”