Home > Regrets(41)

Regrets(41)
Author: Nicole Dykes

“You really need to go to the office tonight?” I ask Lola.

She kicks her shoulder up casually with a Sterling smile. “Nope.” She waves with her keys in hand and leaves.

Linc matches her grin and then turns to me. “You wanna go for a swim?”

His seemingly innocent question sends butterflies through my stomach because it’s laced in lust. “I’ll go get my suit on.”

“I don’t remember you needing a suit.” He’s sitting close to me on the living room sofa, and I’m trying to keep my head straight. I’ve missed him every second since I moved away two years ago. Every. Single. Day.

I wake up, and my first thought is about him.

But I don’t want to get hurt. And I don’t want to feel guilty like I used to.

I turn to look him in the eye, tucking one leg under me. “I’m afraid.”

Honesty is the best policy, I’ve decided. No secrets. They’re poison.

He takes my hand in his. “I’ll go get my trunks, but you better have a bikini. And then I’ll meet you outside.”

He’s changed. He’s the same Linc, but he’s a more mature version. That much is clear. He goes to the guest room, and I change into my green bikini, meeting him outside our beautiful patio where you can walk out to an underground pool twelve feet away with the ocean visible from the pool.

“Pool? Or Ocean?” I ask, nearly afraid of the answer. The beach is quiet tonight, but there are a few people scattered around.

Damn, he looks good. Really good. Although his beard is gone and he’s clean shaven, which works for him, but so did the stubble. He’s tan and toned with sinewy muscles and defined, cut ridges. His face has only become more handsome in the last two years with the same smoldering look but less sad. Is that it? Is he happier? The muscles in his arms flex, and his abs tighten as he laughs, walking to me. “Relax, P. It’s still me.”

I’m showing my nerves. He stands before me, his eyes intense. “I know. It feels like it’s been forever.”

He takes my hand, and we walk to the edge of the pool. He sits down, letting his feet dangle into the pool. I follow his lead, doing the same. “What have you been up to?”

I try to think of everything I’ve done over the past two years. It’s been insanely busy, taking college courses and starting a business with Lola. “None of it seems important.”

He laughs, letting his feet play in the water. “Right. Starting a whole new life. No big deal.” He reaches his hand into the water, letting some pool in his hand and then flicking it at me. I squeal like a girl and smack his shoulder. He laughs again. “Tell me. I want to know all of it.”

I laugh with him and stretch my arms behind me, bracing my weight on my palms. “I’ve done a lot career-wise. Lola and I started our business, and we have a great client list.” I turn my head to look at him. “But somehow, none of it seems important enough to actually list. It’s like I’ve been on autopilot, doing what I needed to do.”

His lips slink up into a sexy grin. “I know exactly what you mean.”

“What have you been up to?”

“I have my real estate license.”

“Real estate? Really?”

He splashes me again, and I splash him back. “Why does that surprise you?”

I guess it makes sense in a way. Odd fact about Linc, he’s always been obsessed with the architecture of houses. “I don’t know. Are you one of those cheesy fuckers with the bench ads?”

He laughs at that, shaking his head. “Fuck no. I’m legit. I only deal in the high-end shit and the really cool, unique properties.”

I smile at that, looking up at the sky that’s starting to turn dark. “That’s very cool, Linc.”

“It is. I like it. No boss to tell me what to do. My father would fucking hate it. He always thought working in the housing industry was idiotic.”

I swallow, my throat feeling strained. “Do you have to go back?’

I can feel him smiling. “Not if you don’t want me to.”

I close my eyes and sigh, wanting to beg him not to ever leave. “Do you want to stay?”

“Do you want me to?”

I open my eyes and turn to him. “Do you always have to be such a pain in the ass?”

“Do you?” His voice has a happy laugh buried in it as he wraps his arms around me, and before I can fight him, he pulls both our bodies into the pool and under the water. When we pop back up, I shove his chest playfully.

“Asshole.”

“Always.” His grin is so fucking sexy, I want to slap him.

We tread water in the deep end and stare at each other. “I don’t want to punish each other anymore, Linc.”

I swim to the edge and pull myself out of the pool, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around me, feeling the panic rise because Linc scares me.

He always has.

He follows, his strong arms flexing as he lifts his body out of the water, completely soaked and looking way too good.

“Don’t run.”

“I need a minute. I just,” I raise one hand telling him to stop as he starts to approach, “I need a minute, Linc.”

I walk to the sliding glass door of the patio, sliding it open and looking back at him, seeing he’s stayed put. Okay, good. That’s what I want.

Right?

I walk inside the house, closing the door behind me and running up the stairs to my bedroom, being careful not to slip.

I look in the mirror in my bedroom and try to breathe. It’s been two years of missing him every single day. But now that he’s here and asking if I want him to stay, I’m panicking.

“Damn, you really are the definition of a tragedy.” I stare at my own reflection.

“No. You’re anything but that.”

I turn when I hear Linc’s voice coming from my doorway. “Linc, I’ve caused nothing but pain and heartache.”

“You’re fucking kidding, right? Do you have any idea how much joy you’ve brought my family?” He walks into my room, standing before me. “We were lost, just bored, rich people going through the motions, and then we met you.” His smile is painful, but beautiful. “P, even having to watch you with my brother,” he swallows tightly, and I see the tension in his neck, “watching you love my brother, it was worth it. I still got to know you.”

“Linc . . .” It’s a weak breath, barely a word because I’m still struggling with the truth. I told him I loved them both, but I never told him how much. How it tortured me to see him looking at me and not be able to act on how he made me feel all those years ago.

“If you want me to stay and you don’t want us to hurt each other, then we have to let it all go, P. All of the guilt because I don’t regret you.” His eyes are locked on mine, and I’m lost in them, listening to his deep baritone voice telling me everything I need to hear. “The only thing I regret is doing it behind Colt’s back. I should have been man enough to face him.”

“You loved him, Linc.”

“So did you.” His right hand smooths over my cheek, and I lean into it.

“It was different. I did love him, but you . . .” Don’t chicken out. Honesty. “You made me feel like I didn’t need to hide because you already saw me. You saw the real me from day one, and you wanted me.”

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