Once Mom and I sat down beside each other, Mom gave me a smile. “How was the singing lesson?” Tonight’s dinner was some kind of meatloaf. My mom had never been much of a cooker before, but she’d turned into a regular chef after getting this job. Then again, she didn’t have anything else to do all day besides clean and do laundry, so. There was that.
“Great,” I said, hurrying to dig in and cut my slice of meat. And then I remembered: “I might have to meet with her more. Bobbi says I catch on fast, but I’m still not very good at reading sheet music.”
“You and Bobbi could always meet here,” Mom said, giving me a smile. She reached for a glass of water—she never drank, ever—and took a tiny sip. It felt almost weird to sit at such a long, expensive dining table with just the two of us, but I’d become somewhat used to it by now. “Bobbi is a girl, right?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes, Mom.”
“Okay, good. You’re too young to date—”
At that I had to glare. “I’m eighteen. How old do you want me to be?” It’d been like this for years. Ever since I made the first mistake of commenting on a celebrity’s attractiveness on the TV in front of her when I was younger. Anyone with a penis was the devil in her eyes, and I wasn’t sure why.
I thought, at one point in my life, that maybe it was because of Dad. She never spoke about him, never even told me who the hell he was. On my birth certificate, he’s listed as unknown. But eighteen years was a long time for someone to hold a grudge, especially against every guy with a dick.
“Just…” My mom let out a sigh; it wasn’t the first time I’d made a comment like that, and it wouldn’t be the last. “Let’s just focus on you graduating, okay? Then we can talk about you dating.”
Wow. It was the twenty-first century and my mom seriously didn’t want me dating until sometime after high school graduation. I’d told Jacob I wasn’t a child, but sitting here and listening to her reason—and realizing how grim and solemn she was about it—made me think twice about that.
Did Mom think she could always control me? Technically I didn’t even have to live in this house anymore. Theoretically, I could go out, get a job, get my own place, do what I wanted. Date who I wanted.
Now was not the best time to think about hooking up with Archer, but the dick—I mean, the boy—did cross my mind.
I wouldn’t mind having a steady boyfriend. I wouldn’t mind going out on dates and acting like a real teenager. That, unfortunately, just wasn’t how my life was. Never was, never would be. It was something I’d faced a long time ago, but for whatever reason, it particularly stung painfully tonight.
Maybe because I was trying to be responsible and see past the bullshit everyone was feeding me.
“Whatever,” I muttered, not feeling too happy about it. “So I guess that means you don’t want me getting a job?” A job wouldn’t bring me a thousand dollars in four days, but it was something I could use to start funneling away money.
“A job?” Mom nearly dropped her silverware onto the floor. “What in the world has gotten into you?”
I paused for a moment to think up a lie. “I want new clothes.”
“Why? What’s wrong with the clothes you have?”
“I don’t fit in with everyone else at Midpark,” I whined, sounding exactly like an angsty teen would. “I stick out like a sore thumb.” Did people say that these days? Eh, well. I got my point across anyways.
My mom could not hide her shock—after all, never before had I ever said something like that. I never really cared about fitting in or being like everyone else. I knew I wasn’t, so I didn’t care. “Your clothes are fine.”
“No, they’re not,” I argued, but in the back of my head I was wondering just how the hell I was supposed to get a thousand freaking dollars by Thursday. It was a small price to pay to be assured that my mom and I were safe here…or confirmed that we weren’t. I loved my mom above all other things in this world, even if she occasionally made me want to pull my own hair out.
She was my mom. Moms tended to get that reaction from their kids every once in a while.
“You have no idea what it’s like,” I said, frowning, “going to a rich school, surrounded by people who have all of the newest phones and the in-style clothes.”
Mom blinked, giving me an unimpressed look. “You’ll be fine, Jaz. Suck it up.”
Well, that was probably that. This bone was a bone I’d never reach. Mom didn’t want me dating, didn’t want me to get a job…if I didn’t know any better, I’d say Mom didn’t want me to do anything in general. If she had her way, I’d still be living with her, date-less, as a thirty-year-old homebody.
Like, come on. Sooner or later all baby birds had to leave the nest, even if they crashed and failed at their attempt to fly.
Not saying I’d fail, but with the way Mom helicoptered around me, I hardly had any room to try.
We finished eating dinner in silence, and I spent the rest of the night in my room, doing homework. Midpark academics were indeed on another level than my old high school. I found it so strange that such things could vary from school to school, let alone state to state. But, regardless, I had to catch up, at least get Cs and Bs on everything. As were probably out of the picture here, what with everything else going on, but you never knew. Maybe I’d get lucky.
It was almost nine o’clock when I was done with all of my homework. My brain was still trying to think up a way I could get the cash by Thursday without stealing it from someone. Ollie had more than enough money to spare, but it wasn’t like I could go up to him and say pretty please. The man was my mom’s employer, so I couldn’t try to use him like that. Plus, it wasn’t like he owed me anything.
And, anyway, he’d probably ask what the money was for. What was I supposed to say then? Oh, I’m hiring a PI because I think you and every other person in this town is hiding something terrible from my mom and I. Yeah, somehow, I didn’t think he’d like that.
It wasn’t like I could ask anyone else. I hadn’t made any friends. Not really. Archer had been acting weird since we hooked up, so that guy was out. Vaughn’s family was clearly in some shady deal with Ollie, so I wasn’t sure if he’d even listen to me when I asked him for money. It was his idea to go with a PI, telling me the rich never got themselves dirty.
Seriously, I didn’t know anyone well enough to ask them to lend me a thousand bucks. Hell, even at my old school, I didn’t have friends like that.
But, maybe when it came to money, these people thought differently about it. Maybe a thousand bucks was like asking someone to buy you lunch. It was quite possible that it wasn’t a big deal, and I was just making it one because I was…well, me.
The least I could do, I supposed, was try.
The next morning in homeroom, before the morning announcements came on the loudspeakers, I leaned over to Archer. He actually wore a hoodie today, which I thought was kind of weird—but then I saw the athletic brand on the hoodie, and knew it wasn’t so weird. Seemed certain brands were universal with jocks.
Wait. Did that mean Archer was a jock? I’d seen his body, his muscles—among other things—so I knew he had to work out. For whatever reason, knowing that Archer was possibly a jock made me conflicted. It made me wonder if what we did was just a joke. Him trying to get with the new girl, the new girl spreading her legs like an eager beaver, him getting what he wanted and being done with me instantly.