“Fuck you,” I hissed.
The edge of his lips tilted up in a smug smirk. “I’m about to.”
His words made the heat inside of me flare.
Without giving him a moment’s notice, I turned and ran up the stairs. I heard him curse behind me, and even though I was fast from gymnastics, I couldn’t keep ahead of his long gait.
All at once, he tackled me from behind, wrapping his arms around my middle. We went sprawling toward the steps. Before I could land face-first, he twisted, taking the brunt of the fall on his back and side, while holding me against his chest. He landed with a grunt, but playful fire burned in his stare, and it mirrored mine as I reached down and unsnapped his pants.
My hand immediately reached in and took hold of his hard cock. I rubbed my thumb over the head, collecting some precum, and then popped it into my mouth to suck it off.
“Fuck.” Rogue growled.
He turned us so that it was my back against the jutting angles of the steps, and he grabbed my pants and ripped them off my legs, flinging them over the railing. Completely bare now, I reached up with my other hand and clawed at his chest until skin and blood gathered beneath my nails. He hissed in pain, but I felt him harden against me even more.
“Bite me,” I ordered.
I wanted to give pain, and I wanted to feel it, too. I wanted my body to match the ache I felt inside.
Rogue didn’t hesitate. He brushed his mouth against the curve of my neck, and I felt his teeth come down on my sensitive skin. My pussy pulsed, making me whimper, and I felt his teeth release me before his hot tongue darted out to soothe the spot.
He dug into his pocket and pulled out another condom, ripping it open with his teeth, and it shouldn’t have been erotic but somehow was. I reached for his pants again and jerked them down his legs, my hands fumbling between stripping him bare and scratching his skin. I wanted to feel him. I wanted our hurt to consume us until all that was left was our pleasure.
Parting my thighs with a simple shove that I didn’t even bother to stop, Rogue’s hooded eyes assessed me as he started to put the new condom on. With the hard steps of the stairs biting into my shoulders, I watched his lips part as I reached up and helped roll it all the way down his shaft, and then I guided his length between my legs with raspy breaths.
“Do it,” I ordered while pushing up, bracing the head of his cock against my entrance as I moved my hands up to grab his shoulders.
And then, Rogue Kelly thrust inside of me.
I cried out, my head falling back against the stairs as he drove into me, taking my innocence and my sanity with his punishing jolt.
It hurt. God, it hurt.
I clawed my fingers against his back, my nails scraping against the swirls of ink on his skin. I wanted to mark him like he was marking me. I wanted to make him bleed, too.
I hated him. I wanted him. I resented him. I craved him.
And he knew it.
When a tear trickled down the corner of my eyes, Rogue leaned in and licked it from my face. Then he reached between us and brought his fingers to my clit, and I gasped at the contact. I’d never had someone else touch me there before. It was intimate, almost as intimate as what he was already doing to me.
With the intense way he watched me, the way his brown eyes grew darker as I writhed beneath him, it made that twisted piece inside of me unfurl even more with fierce satisfaction.
My cries of pain turned to pleasure as my body opened up to him, accommodating his size and the speed of his thrusts. His fingers continued to toy with me, his cock never slowing down as he pushed into me over and over again, the sound of our breaths and harsh cries echoing around us.
I soon found myself wrapping my legs around his hips, pulling him closer instead of trying to push him away. But as good as he was making me feel, I didn’t want to let him take me to the peak. So just before I could get there, I tried to shove his hand away, but of course, he refused to budge.
“Don’t,” I warned him, my chest heaving.
His eyes glittered mercilessly. “You’re gonna come for me, Scar.”
“No,” I said, shaking my head from side to side. “I won’t.”
In reply, he leaned forward and bit my neck, sucking the skin between his teeth. I clenched my whole body, trying to hold back, my fingers and toes curling painfully. I didn’t want him to have the satisfaction of making me come. I wanted to keep that from him.
“I’m the first one to fuck this pussy, and I’m gonna be the first to make you come, too.”
I shook my head again, but it was only half-hearted. I was right there. Right on the cusp, my whole body shuddering, screaming for him to push me over the edge.
“Yes,” he growled, and then he thrust into me hard, just as he pressed into my clit, and I couldn’t hold back anymore.
I screamed out his name, seeing stars as my eyes rolled back in pleasure. I’d given myself orgasms before, but they’d been nothing like this. This, with Rogue deep inside of me and with his ruthless movements, this was something completely different. It was dark and delicious, and I shouldn’t have liked it at all. But I loved every second of it.
He smirked down at me arrogantly, and then I felt him come too, as his own orgasmic growl came hot against my ear.
“Fuck,” I whispered as he shuddered against my neck. The finality of it all made shame and sated bliss wash over me in conflicting waves.
Rogue didn’t move for a moment. He just stayed inside of me, staring down at my face with tenderness before once more hardening his expression. I saw the transition. I watched him force himself to look at me with hate. My stomach roiled.
Why? Why did he hate me so much? It was like he forced the hatred, and the challenger in me wanted nothing more than to keep pushing him. I wanted to break down this cruelness and shatter the mirrored emotion between us. I wanted to take the brick wall he’d put up between us and make it come crumbling down.
There was tenderness there. I saw it. But it was gone now, so all I could do was steel myself in response.
With a single steading breath, I finally gathered enough courage to speak. “Get the fuck off me.”
He did.
Chapter Nineteen
I used to imagine losing my virginity to him in a romantic setting where he guided me to that special place of bliss with sweet, whispered words and affection. But no. He gave me a hard fuck, and I gave it right back to him. A punishing, consuming fuck that left me shamed but exhilarated at the same time. It was better than the romance I’d imagined. It was more Rogue, and it fed the secret desires that I’d never voiced.
“Scar, stop,” Rogue growled while following me up the stairs.
I felt him at my back as I ran up the rest of the way to his bedroom. When I glanced back at him, he was pulling on his pants as he walked, clumsily zipping up his fly. I didn’t give him a chance to catch up to me.
I wanted a shower. I wanted to wash away the evidence of us and scrub my skin raw so I’d have some other sort of pain to focus on, other than the ache between my thighs. I wrenched open his bedroom door and then immediately marched across his room until I was in the connecting bathroom. I went inside and then slammed the door shut, locking it with a huff. I knew that if Rogue really wanted to, he could kick open the door. Part of me wanted him to.
Oh god. That was what made all of this so twisted. I didn’t want to change a damn thing about what just happened. I’d let him use me and throw me away again and again because I craved him so much. It wasn’t the violent fuck that ruined me. It wasn’t even that it was Rogue Kelly who broke me in half, speared me with his cock, and demanded my pleasure. What killed me was that I enjoyed it. I liked not having the sweet sex I’d once dreamed about. I liked fighting him. I liked letting out our darker sides to run free. And the murder? I barely even thought about that. What kind of person did that make me?