Dave is ready to get up and walk away.
Tim’s high on something. We’re talkin’ about a clean tour and he’s wasted.
I don’t give a fuck, but to be honest, I could use a break and I tell the guys that.
Preacher refuses to weigh in, but he does this watching Timmy real close and I can tell something is turning over in his head, so I figure he’s eventually gonna back going sober. And I’m hopin’ he does ’cause if Preacher says it, even Dave is gonna pull his shit together.
Then, before we can lock that down however it’s gonna get locked down, Trelane strolls up and says he’s with us for the next coupla gigs.
We’re to the point in our careers…
And this isn’t the first time, Tommy worked hard at keeping the band’s reputation what it was back when we were on the road, playing bars in the Midwest.
So, it wasn’t about three pages of riders and some lackey picking out the green M&Ms in the bowls in our dressing room, or whatever the fuck.
Though we definitely had M&Ms [chuckles] and Snickers. Dave had a sweet tooth.
[Smiles]
And, you know, Van Halen pulled that shit as an easy way to know if the more important riders on their contract were seen to. You know, like reinforced stages so they didn’t fall through and break their necks while playin’, [grins in a manner that’s more a grimace] shit like that.
There’s a lot to be said about the life and times of the band Van Halen, but they got a bad rap with that M&M thing.
Just sayin’.
[Shifts in chair and settles]
We might not hit the stage on time, but we showed on time ready to do our thing.
But we didn’t slum it, flying first class.
Yeah, I said slum it, flying first class.
But there it was.
That was who we became.
That was what we worked for.
And that was what Tommy got us.
So, we got our own jet.
From Like a Desperation, we had our own jet.
I can tell straight off when we get on the plane that something’s not right with Lyla, but I think it’s Leeanne, and I’m pleased as fuck because if she’s homing in on Leeanne, that means Leeanne is soon gonna be history.
That might sound weak, but guy code, for sure.
You don’t wade in with that shit.
A woman?
One of the guys’ women?
[Shakes head]
Nah.
No way.
But Lyla would lay waste to her.
A genuine groupie who loves music and fucking rock stars and gets off on her brand of the “I’m with the band” gig, they’d be fast friends.
A situation where, on both sides, there’s a genuine attempt to make a go at a relationship, she’s hands off.
A vampire who’s out for blood, Lyla could sniff that out in a snap.
And Lyla would not mess around with garlic.
She’d get some wooden stakes and hone them to a fine point.
At least I thought so, at the time.
So we get on that plane and Preacher is fused to Lyla, Lyla is subdued, Tom is watchful, Dave and Shawn are pissed, Tim is out of it, Leeanne is whatever Leeanne was, and I’m tryin’ to figure out what’s going on and what I should do about it since it seems clear at this point that Preacher is not gonna wade in and Tommy for once isn’t bulldogging us, so someone’s gotta do something.
We get to the hotel, everyone disappears behind closed doors.
We don’t do what we’ve always have done.
That being drop our shit, do the interviews or whatever, then meander to someone’s suite, throw some back, rapping and deciding on a setlist.
Then that night, we play “Maybe I’m Amazed.”
We do our thing in the dressing room after with local bigwigs and celebrities who pull strings for the privilege, backstage passers, but there’s no other after party ’cause Preacher is all about Lyla, Shawn’s not in the party mood, Leeanne has sensed it’s time to strike and is screwing up to do that, and by that I mean she’s screwing Tim’s brains out, and I’m truly seeing the wisdom of taking a break from the garbage for a while.
So…
Yeah.
Trelane senses all this shit is goin’ down.
Which means, unless he’s got a previous engagement, Trelane is with us for the rest of the tour.
[Off tape]
If I recall, and I’ve studied that book thoroughly, there isn’t a picture in it full-face or solo of Leeanne Brewster. Only shots of her in the background or partly hidden by someone or in profile and out of focus.
Yeah, all I can say about that is, Trelane had her number.
I think the only one who didn’t was Tim.
I’m not ever sure he really saw it.
In the end, Tim just picked the band.
Gig after that, I remember it was Houston, we get to the hotel and, since no one is doing anything, I figure I gotta man up and not wait for Preacher or Tom to take care of business.
So, I go to Dave’s room and knock on the door and we haven’t been there an hour and he’s already cleaned out the tequila in his minibar and had more brought up.
I’m all “Dave, Tommy can’t wake you up? Dude.”
I’m also braced for him to get pissed and for there to be a fight.
But he just goes to the couch, sits down, all folded into himself.
[Grimaces]
This does not fill me with happy feelings and now I’m wishing he’d fight ’cause this is worse.
I sit with him and I’m all “What the fuck, man?”
He stays folded, but turns his head to look at me, and he says, “I can’t do it anymore.”
Now, this tweaks me because never, not ever, have any of us said shit like this.
I don’t know if any of us have even thought shit like this.
I ask, “Can’t do what anymore?”
He says, “I’m in love with her.”
I say, “In love with who?”
Then he says, “Lyla.”
Now…
[Draws word out] Shit.
I feel his pain.
You know I feel his pain.
Trying to find what Preach had with Lyla led me to Cynthia and then Tiffany and after her Miranda.
And it wasn’t that none of those women were Lyla.
It was that I was looking for my Lyla, when I should have just been looking for what was mine.
But at this point, or any point, for Dave, that’s just not gonna happen.
But what do I say to the guy?
And remember, I got a sister who’s a functioning alcoholic.
Good thing, by this time, she scraped off her first husband.
Bad thing, she’s now with a guy who has the personality of a wet dishrag.
Can’t have someone in her life who actually gives a shit and has a backbone, because if she does, he might want her to lose the booze and face her demons.
[Takes deep breath]
I blew it with her, repeatedly, and would continue doing it.
With Davey, I gotta find my way to sort his shit.
Yeah, that was about me. About my livelihood. About our music and our earning and our legacy.
It was also that I just couldn’t do it again with someone I loved going down that road, no matter there’s no control over what’s pushing you to that path.