‘Well, you’re late anyway so come here.’
I grudgingly stepped round to his side of the bed and he reached out an arm and pulled me down into a hug.
I let him hold me, my cheek on the cotton of his T-shirt, feeling strangely tearful all of a sudden. Blinking furiously, I wondered for the millionth time in the last couple of months just what had come over me.
‘I’ve got to go,’ I said, this time in a softer voice, gently pushing myself off him.
‘I love you, Lottie Campbell,’ Luke said, sincerity edging his eyes.
‘I love you too,’ I said, swallowing, my throat feeling full. I was gratified to see the edge of Luke’s mouth lift, how adorable with his tousled hair and early-morning stubble. ‘Sorry for being such a bitch recently.’
He shrugged, wariness edging into his eyes. ‘You’ve got a lot going on, Lottie, you don’t need to apologise.’
The lump in my throat made it hard to speak and anyhow I didn’t want to respond, didn’t want to ruin this tentative peace, so I stood up, picking up my bag again and walking out of the bedroom, Luke singing, ‘Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone’ behind me, a giggle escaping as I slammed our flat door.
Amy was already there when I puffed my way into the shop. Surrounded by racks of ivory tulle, sequins and satin, she had one hand on a dress with a full skirt and was smoothing at the fabric as I arrived in front of her.
‘Hey,’ I said weakly, raising a hand.
She arched an eyebrow my way and in that tiny movement I got a taste of what all her students must feel when they were summoned to the deputy headteacher’s office. I wasn’t going to go for the foiled handbag snatch/witness to a murder story.
‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,’ I said, sinking dramatically on to a rust-coloured velvet chaise longue. ‘Forgive me, forgive me—’
Amy, who hated scenes, was darting a look over her shoulder to see if the dress-shop owner was there. ‘Oh my God, get up, ssh, you are an embarrassment.’
I looked up at her. ‘I really am sorry,’ I said, my voice serious.
Amy rolled her eyes, holding out a hand, ‘I know. Now come and tell me if I should go for a tulle skirt in blush pink or a satin bodice with a lace bolero.’
‘What on hell’s earth is a bolero?’
Amy nudged me with a giggle as a woman with the sleekest, shiniest blonde hair and the most perfect eyebrows stepped across to talk to us.
‘Ladies, welcome to Diamonds and Dreams,’ she said, her smooth forehead frozen in place. ‘And who is the lucky bride?’ she tinkled.
‘We both are,’ Amy said brightly, and it was my turn to look at her. ‘Lottie here’s getting her ring re-sized, aren’t you,’ she said quickly, noticing Sleek Blonde was staring at my bare left hand. ‘Aren’t you, Lottie?’
‘Oh!’ I jerked to attention. ‘Oh yes, it was too big. Kept slipping off into . . . into stuff,’ I said, the sentence tailing away into a whisper.
Sleek Blonde flicked her sleek blonde mane.
‘Well, do have a look at our range and let us know when you want to try on your first dress. A magical day for you both,’ she said, her voice still sparkling as if she was auditioning for Lead Princess in Disney movie.
‘A magical day indeed,’ I said aloud, both my arms thrust out, palms raised. I had gone too big. Sleek Blonde raised another eyebrow and walked away. I turned back to Amy, who was holding up a bodice in champagne satin that made her black skin even richer. ‘That looks—’ I was about to compliment her when I remembered. ‘Hey, I can’t try on dresses, Amy. Isn’t that bad luck or something?’
Amy laughed and turned back to the rail in front of her. ‘Not unless Luke appears in the doorway and sees you in the dress you have selected for your imaginary wedding with him.’ She placed the bodice back on the rail and spun round. ‘Oh come on, Lottie, don’t pretend you’re not seriously tempted. You love dressing up. Any excuse. Remember Casual Clothes Days at school? There was nothing casual about your selections.’
Feeling the stirrings of excitement in my stomach for the first time in days, I suddenly didn’t feel so tired. My workload was fading in my mind, Luke wasn’t angry with me, even Grandad’s worries were minimised in the face of the incredible mountain of fabric. ‘Helloooo, Lottie, are you ready?’ Amy was waving in my face.
I preened and pouted and encouraged Amy to get Sleek Blonde to pull on ribbons, fetch us more dresses, top up our glasses. We tried on fishtail dresses, meringues and bias-cut, sweetheart necklines and delicate lace.
I was dressed in full veil, tiara and feathered skirt when my phone rang and I hopped down off the box I was admiring myself on and padded over to my handbag.
‘What are you doing?’ Luke asked.
‘I’m trying on a wedding dress!’ I announced brightly.
There was a long pause and I pulled the phone away from my face to frown at the screen. Bringing it to my ear again I whispered, ‘Luke? Luke, are you still there?’
‘That is . . . well, that is . . . ’
It was only then I realised I should probably add, ‘ . . . for Amy. I’m wedding dress shopping with Amy, remember?’
Did he have to sigh so loudly? ‘Oh . . . oh well, I knew that. Great. Send Amy love.’
‘Will do. Did you call for anything in particular?’
‘No, I just wondered when you were getting back. I wasn’t sure how long these things take, we haven’t really seen each other.’
‘I saw you this morning,’ I pointed out, pulling the phone back so I could look at the screen. ‘Less than three hours ago, in fact,’ I confirmed.
‘Ha, ha,’ Luke said, deadpan. ‘I meant seen each other as in hang out, talk about something, do something together rather than just inhabit the same space?’
I turned my back on Amy who was wearing an expectant look on her face. ‘Oh, yes, I see.’ Why didn’t I laugh at this obvious tease? Why did I feel my shoulders tense, the grip on the phone grow tighter?
‘Look, I can’t be everywhere at once, Luke. I told you this was important. Amy hasn’t seen me in ages, she had to rearrange this appointment for me and I can’t just—’ All the old panic was stirring within me as I warmed to my theme.
‘Lottie.’ Luke tried to interrupt me but I was in full flow. ‘Lottie—’
‘And Grandad, what am I meant to be doing about Grandad?’
‘Actually I went round there after you left. He’d made these insane flapja—’
‘Yes, but I said I’d drop in there later,’ I cut him off. ‘He’ll be alone for the rest of the day and I ca—’
‘Lottie, I didn’t call to have an argument with you,’ Luke said in a weary voice. ‘And Arjun and him are playing golf.’
Amy had moved to stand next to me, her hand out for my phone. I shook my head at her but she didn’t move. I could feel her looking at me, standing in a netted skirt and white satin corset, pissed off. I felt the physical pull of Luke on the end of the phone and of Amy standing in the room.
‘Look, Luke, I’ve really got to go. I’ll be back in a bit and we can make a plan then,’ I said, my voice firm.