‘Like you need another one. What happened to Patricia?’ Arjun asked.
‘And Blythe?’ Geoffrey piped up.
‘Over, over, and they couldn’t hold a candle to her.’ ‘It’s Teddy here who needs a woman – spare one for him,’
Arjun said.
My pen hovered over the pad I was writing on.
‘I certainly do not,’ came Grandad’s voice, aghast.
I tapped my pen on the lined pad as I continued to eavesdrop.
‘Well, a chance to see what’s out there, at least.’
‘I’m fine.’
‘Teddy, you told me that last night you spent the evening rearranging the cutlery drawer.’
‘You did say that,’ Geoffrey agreed.
‘It was a mess,’ Grandad protested.
‘I used a spoon to dribble honey on Blyt—’
‘Howard, we don’t need to know. We never need to know.’
‘Please don’t let him finish that sentence.’
Arjun wasn’t giving up. ‘I’m serious though, Teddy. You probably need something to take your mind off things—’
Howard excitedly chipped in. ‘I’m telling you, Teddy, it’s a buyers’ market. We’re completely outnumbered – it’s probably three to one in our favour.’
I stifled a giggle, clamping a hand over my mouth. He really was appalling.
‘So, if there are such rich pickings, how come you are settling down with this one of a kind?’ Grandad had always been able to take on Howard, who, for all his bluster, loved my grandad like a brother.
There were more chuckles, the clink of glasses and I had clean forgotten the work laid out in front of me. It was enough for tonight anyway, I tried to convince myself as I packed my things away.
‘Last week I was asked out three times,’ Howard went on. ‘Three times. By three separate women.’
‘I wish I could say the same about men,’ Arjun mumbled sadly.
‘You’d think now that being homosexual is more fashionable you’d be inundated, my friend,’ Howard said.
I paused, impressed with Howard’s new-found sensitivity.
‘But you are a lost cause, as we have learnt,’ he went on, despite heckles from the other three. I’m pretty sure someone punched him in the arm as he made an oof sound before continuing, ‘Stop that. Teddy here, however, is new on the scene: he is fresh meat, if you will.’
I got up, their voices louder as I stepped into the hallway. As I appeared in the doorway of the living room, all four men turned to look at me. The table was littered with cards, bowls of pretzels, bottles and four almost-empty glasses.
‘What were you saying then, Howard? About Grandad?’
Howard’s eyes rounded in panic, worried perhaps he was offending me. ‘Oh, it was nothing. Well, I just thought, maybe it would be good for your grandad to look for some female company. He rearranged cutlery last night, Lottie.’
‘Stop it!’ Grandad protested, aiming a pretzel at Howard’s chest.
‘Do you think Howard’s right?’ I blurted, looking at Arjun and Geoffrey.
‘Not you, Lottie,’ Grandad sighed, a small smile as he drained his drink. ‘Honestly, I’m fine.’
‘Well, I . . . ’ Arjun squirmed in his chair, clearly unsure as to the right answer.
‘No, of course—’ Geoffrey was immediately interrupted.
‘Howard’s always right,’ Howard boomed.
‘Shut up, Howard,’ chorused Arjun and Geoffrey.
Grandad laughed.
‘No, I mean, maybe Howard is a little right,’ I continued. ‘Dating might be good for you, Grandad, a chance to meet someone new, a distraction from . . . things.’
‘I don’t need distractions,’ Grandad said, the expression on his face indulgent but not budging.
‘No, no of course you don’t,’ I said, immediately realising the absurdity of what I had even suggested.
Howard, however, had no such awareness. ‘But it would be great fun. There are so many ways to meet women now,’ he went on. ‘There’s Facebook and Happen, Tinder and Match-dot-com.’
‘No, no, I couldn’t,’ Grandad said, shaking his head slowly.
‘Of course you can,’ Howard scoffed.
‘I suppose there couldn’t be any real harm in making new connections, other friends,’ Arjun joined in, readjusting his tortoiseshell glasses.
‘Special friends,’ Howard added, practically winking.
‘You don’t understand. Geoffrey understands, don’t you, Geoffrey?’ Grandad turned to look at his friend, the light shining on Geoffrey’s head as he shifted in his seat. He wasn’t keen on the spotlight; that was more Howard’s forte. I hadn’t known Geoffrey’s wife – she had been a seamstress, had died years ago – but I knew they had been childhood sweethearts and he had never remarried.
‘I do. When you’ve been married as long as we both were, and to your best friend’ – I felt a lump form in my throat as Geoffrey stumbled over these words – ‘well, you just . . . lose interest,’ he said, palms up in appeal.
I bit my lip.
Grandad was nodding. ‘There’ll never be another one like her.’
I had definitely been wrong to even think Howard might have a point. I had just wanted Grandad to have some excitement, to remember life wasn’t over just because Grandma was no longer here. Or was there a secret part of me that didn’t want to feel I had to watch him all the time? I swallowed down the feeling that I might have wanted Howard to be right for all the wrong reasons.
Howard had the good grace not to snort too loudly after Geoffrey’s words. ‘Cora was a fine woman, Teddy, and we’re not saying you will meet another one like her, but . . . you might meet a younger one at the very least.’
The howls started up again and I started laughing too at Grandad’s horrified face before we were interrupted by the sound of the doorbell.
‘Mail-order bride?’ Howard laughed. ‘That was quick. Tell them he’ll be along just as soon as he begs me to borrow a blue pill.’
‘Howard!’
‘That is horrifying.’
‘Straight red card.’
Rolling my eyes, pleased to hear the others berating him, I moved out into the hallway, seeing a tall silhouette beyond the wavy glass of the front door. Checking the latch was on I tentatively pulled it open, then fumbled to open it when I saw Luke standing on the doorstep. He had flushed cheeks and a beanie hat pulled down low, an unseasonably cold wind making him rub his hands together.
‘Hey,’ I said, opening the door wide, then feeling a wave of panic. ‘What are you doing here? Is everything OK? Has the flat burnt down?’
Luke put his hands on my shoulders. ‘Woah, breathe, Lottie, breathe. All is well. I just wanted to see you.’
I took a step back, one hand on my chest. ‘Oh, oh, that’s good. Come in.’
‘Ask her if she can cook.’ Howard’s voice floated down the hallway to us.
Luke turned to me, his eyebrow raised in a question.
‘Don’t ask,’ I said, pushing him along the corridor and into the living room.
‘I wouldn’t dream of it,’ he grinned, pulling off his hat.