Her knock came, brisk and efficient. Swallowing, I edged towards the door, opening it in tiny, timid movements as if she were here to mug me.
She was standing in the hallway underneath the single lightbulb, still dressed in her work clothes.
‘Hey.’
‘Hey.’ I gave her an awkward smile.
‘Can I come in?’
‘Of course,’ I stuttered, pulling the door open wider and standing back. No weapon visible. Good.
‘Thanks.’ She moved inside. ‘Is Luke in?’
‘No.’ I didn’t expand and she didn’t question it further.
‘That’s good. I was hoping we could talk.’
Nerves fluttered in my stomach at the statement and I followed her through to the living room, heading over to the curtains to close them, finally blocking out the blinking of the streetlight.
‘Tea, coffee, water, wine, I think I have some juice, it might be off . . . ’ I knew I was talking quickly but I couldn’t seem to stop listing beverages.
‘I’m all right.’
‘Right,’ I said. ‘Ginger ale? No, probably not. Me too. I’m great. Not parched.’
Wow, shut up, Lottie.
I wondered if I imagined Amy’s mouth twitching into a small smile. ‘I’m glad.’ She sat on the armchair next to the sofa, her dark hair black and gleaming against the light grey fabric. ‘So . . . ’
‘I really am so, so sorry about today,’ I began, moving around and almost tripping up in my haste to sit on the sofa next to her. ‘It was so stupid and if you’ve been fired I will go and see your headmistress and I’ll beg her, beg her to take you back because you shouldn’t be punished for having a total imbecile as a friend.’
‘I don’t think you should go in and see her,’ Amy said in a flat voice.
Oh God, she had been fired. I had ruined everything. Not only had I ruined her wedding with the brooch no-show but now she was unemployed. With no salary she would probably struggle to pay her rent so soon she might be homeless and it was literally all my fault. I wished that the next time I went to eat something innocuous I had become suddenly allergic and came out in hives all over. I deserved that much at least.
‘But I must, I need to try and fix things. I have no idea what I was thinking. I just was so desperate to prove to you that our friendship really does mean something to me and I know I’ve been crap and selfish and awful and hideous, and just when you need me to . . . just when you need me to be a best friend, I’ve been shit.’ I could feel my whole face creased with anxiety as I looked at her. My amazing, talented friend about to lose her job because of my idiot move.
‘Lottie, about today. I shouldn’t have reacted like I did.’
‘You had every right to react like you did. I mean, what I did was full mental,’ I said, refusing to let her take any of the blame in this debacle.
‘Look, shut up for a second, OK?’
I snapped my mouth closed.
‘I haven’t been fired,’ she said, a small smile now on her lips.
‘You haven’t?’ I felt my whole body loosen a little. Amy still had her job, the job she loved. Then I tensed again. ‘But I implicated you, I told all those pupils we had been on an expedition together. They knew I knew you.’
‘Lottie, seriously, it’s OK, I explained everything.’
Frowning I said, ‘But how?’
‘Look, I did say you were my friend but I said you were having a breakdown and were prone to strange episodes. They totally bought it. I think they just assumed that no sane person would do what you did. In fact, Mrs McDonald thanked me for my tact and swift handling of the situation.’
‘Oh my God,’ I said.
‘Are you pissed off?’ It was Amy’s turn to look worried.
I shook my head from side to side. ‘No, that is brilliant. Why didn’t I think of saying that? You’re right! Who in their right mind would do what I did?’ I felt my whole body relax. Crisis averted. I would have hated to damage something Amy truly loved.
Amy grinned. ‘Thank God, I was quite nervous about telling you. You seem remarkably OK with me telling people you’re certifiable.’
I shrugged. ‘Always happy to oblige.’
‘Oh, although the receptionist is being sent on another course on Security so if you ever bump into her in the street, I’d do a runner.’ She smiled at me and gave me one of her throaty laughs.
We fell into an amicable silence.
‘I really am sorry, Amy.’
Amy reached across and took my hand. ‘I know. And honestly, when you started talking to the pupils about “maps and stuff”, I actually died laughing inside.’
‘Oh God,’ I groaned, flashbacks coming thick and fast, all those faces.
‘So, look, I brought this too.’ Amy fished something out of her bag and held it up. It was the memory stick that had dropped on the floor between us. ‘And I really want to watch it with you now. If that’s OK?’
I nodded, taking it off her and slotting it into the television. ‘Of course,’ I said, feeling an enormous excitement and relief that maybe, just maybe, I had got my friend back. I sat back down next to Amy and grinned at her before pressing Play.
Images started up and music played and all the old photos I had dug out and scanned and put on the PowerPoint fired up. Videos from nights out, photos from school right up to those in our shared flat. There was even one of us sitting on a stone in Dartmoor, both weighed down by huge backpacks, hair tied back with matching bandanas, heads cocked together, grinning at the camera. ‘D of E!’ Amy squealed, snorting as she pointed at the screen.
It finished and there was a thick silence in the room as I got up to get the memory stick back.
Finally Amy looked across at me. ‘Thank you, Lottie.’
She seemed to be on the verge of saying more and I mentally bit down on my tongue, not wanting to push things or start apologising over again. The silence extended and I found myself bursting with it. ‘I am so sorry, Amy, about the brooch, but also I just haven’t been there for you at all and that is not cool—’
She was shaking her head and holding her hand up and I tailed away as I realised I was being forgiven. ‘Lottie, I know. And I love you for your mad apology and I’m so relieved. I’ve really missed you.’
Then suddenly we were reaching across and hugging each other and I felt tears swim in my eyes as I realised how much I’d missed her too.
‘And obviously you still need to be my bridesmaid,’ she said into my hair. ‘I need you there to tell me it’s going to be OK and drink champagne with me and sort my sister out.’
‘Of course, of course.’ It came out muffled and in a rush.
Wiping at my eyes I sat back. ‘You need to catch me up on everything. Has your mum made any more demands on your seating plan and is your sister still threatening to dress Tom in knickerbockers?’
Amy rolled her eyes.
I held up a hand. ‘Wait. I’ll get wine first.’
‘I thought you weren’t parched?’
‘Shut up.’
I’d just got to the kitchen when she asked the question, ‘Won’t Luke be back soon? Have you got time?’
Not really wanting to ruin the atmosphere or shift the focus back on to me, I mumbled something as I rootled in the fridge for a bottle of wine and then reached up to the cupboard for two glasses.