A familiar hatred for what I’d been born into brewed deep inside me as I glanced around the room. Everything in it was too fancy for my taste—delicate four-poster bed, lace-edged comforter, Victorian armoire with elegant trim work, gold-framed mirror. Dainty. English. And in my current mood, a perfect target for my rage. I could do some serious damage to this room. And I wanted to. I was seconds away from unleashing my fury. The only thing that stopped me was Marco’s presence.
I banked that rage for the moment and forced myself to ask the most pressing question on my mind. “What happened?”
“In the bathroom?” When I nodded, Marco said, “You lost it, that’s what happened.
No shit, Sherlock. I frowned. “What did Fee give me?”
“A sedative. You ripped open a bunch of sutures. Unless you want to die from infection, those need to stay closed.”
Fucking fabulous.
Ironically, dying was damn tempting. But I had to keep fighting. Not for myself now but for Natalie. Yes, she was technically safe after that deal I’d made, but if I keeled over unexpectedly, I wasn’t at all convinced the Grande Cavaliere and my fucking father would hold to the agreement we’d reached.
“How the fuck did she get there?” I dropped my head and breathed deeply. “She was supposed to be at your villa. Did she follow me?”
“Merda. You don’t know, do you?” When I lifted my head and met Marco’s gaze, he said, “They came onto the property and took her, Luc. After I left for the gathering.”
“What?” My eyes grew wide. “They can’t do that.”
“No shit. But they did.”
My mind spun. And then...it all made sense. I hadn’t been the target. I’d been the distraction.
A whole new fear seized my chest, and I shot to my feet. “What did they do to her? Who touched her? Which ones...?” My throat closed. “I’ll kill every fucking one of them.”
“Breathe.” Marco was on his feet with a death grip on my shoulders before I realized it. “She’s fine. They didn’t do anything to her. No one touched her.”
I stared at him, unable to believe his words. “Then what—?”
“Physically, they didn’t harm her. But they did scare her. And they made her stay on that balcony until it was over.”
Memories came rushing back. Memories I’d clearly blocked out—a light flipping on above me, opening my eyes when I’d been chained down and that kitten had been tormenting me, looking up and seeing Natalie standing on that balcony in a white dress, staring down at what I was doing.
My stomach pitched with renewed sickness, but I couldn’t give in to the darkness just yet. I needed to know all of it. “Who?”
“Your father.”
My jaw clenched so hard, I was surprised the bone didn’t crack. That hatred swirled and snapped inside me.
“And your mother,” Marco added.
For a moment, I was sure I’d heard him wrong. But when he only met my gaze head-on and didn’t flinch, I knew he was telling the truth.
“Both of them?” I asked in a low voice, a dark loathing growing inside me, one that was stronger and more dangerous than anything I’d felt before.
“They made her stand between them. Wouldn’t let her leave. And I’m sure they got a sick sort of satisfaction listening to her beg and plead for them to stop the ritual.”
Of course they would have. Because they were monsters. Vile, evil, black-souled monsters who sucked every bit of life and light out of the innocents they encountered. And now, thanks to what I’d done, I was just like them.
I sank back to the side of the bed, braced my elbows on my knees, and dropped my head into my hands, barely even noticing the pain in my back because the agony consuming every other inch of my body was too strong—too fresh.
“She’s worried about you, man,” Marco said. “After what happened in the bathroom—”
“I don’t want to see her.”
“She’s your wife.”
“I don’t fucking care.” I glared up at him. “Don’t you dare let her in this room. I’m not kidding, Marco. You saw me in there. I could snap at any moment. I don’t want her anywhere near me.”
Marco rested his hands on his hips and leveled me with a disapproving look. “She loves you.”
“Which was the biggest mistake she ever made.” Despair rolled through me. A black, bitter despair I was never going to be able to claw my way out from under. A despair I didn’t deserve to be free of—ever. “If you and Fee want to help someone, you’ll help her get out of this fucked-up House once and for all. And this time, you’ll make sure she doesn’t come back.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“Yeah, I do.” I turned toward the pillows on the bed, wishing for those drugs again so I could just pass out and think about nothing. Instead, I was going to lie here all night and relive every awful thing I’d done to Natalie since the moment I’d met her.
“Do it tonight,” I said before I could change my mind. “By morning, I want her out of my life for good.”
4
Natalie
“No,” I said emphatically, staring at Marco in complete and utter disbelief. “I’m not leaving. Don’t even think about asking me to leave him right now.”
“I’m not asking.” Marco’s hands closed over my shoulders, and he looked down at me in the dim light of the kitchen where I was standing. “I’m a hundred percent on your side. You need to be here. I just wanted you to know what he’s thinking.”
As far as I was concerned, Luc wasn’t thinking. Not rationally at least. His latest order proved that.
After checking on Luc, Marco had joined Fee and I in the kitchen where we were sitting at the table sipping tea, quietly talking. I was so tired, I was barely keeping my eyes open, but the second Marco had dumped the latest bombshell in my lap, I’d come wide-awake.
“He really said that?” I asked, disbelief twisting through my chest. “He wants me to leave?”
“He’s in a dark place right now, Natalie. He’s angry and feeling self-destructive. And realizing you were there isn’t helping matters. I told you things were going to get rough. For tonight, I think it’s best if you give him space. Let him work through some of this stuff before you go in and see him.”
My heart pounded hard as I glanced toward the stairs and thought of Luc suffering in that big room all alone. Every instinct inside me said to go to him, to comfort him, to be the strength I knew he needed. But then I heard his voice from that bathroom, gravelly and filled with so much hatred, screaming for Marco to get me out of the room, not to let me get anywhere near him.
Tears burned the backs of my eyes all over again, and I blinked rapidly, then looked back at Marco. “If he wakes during the night—”
“I’ll take care of him. Trust me. I know Luc. In a day or two, when it’s all not so fresh and he’s had time to process, you can go to him. I just think seeing you right now might make things worse.”
I didn’t believe that for a moment. But I also realized that the Luc I’d seen writhing on that bathroom floor had not been my Luc. It had been a shadow of the man I knew. And I wasn’t willing to give that man any reason to keep my Luc locked away.