Bonello moved up on my other side, his cloistering heat swirling in the air, sending bile straight up my throat.
“I, for one, hope you fail, bella,” he whispered in my other ear. “Because I can’t wait to unleash the inner slut inside you. We all know it’s there.” He skimmed his knuckles down my cheek. “And it’ll be even more fun to let her out while your husband watches.”
Gio chuckled.
His hand released me. Both men stepped back. Then a click sounded, followed by their footsteps fading until there was nothing but darkness around me.
I gasped. My legs gave out. Dropping to the floor, I fell forward, gagging in the dark. But a voice was pushing me, screaming for me to go, to run before they changed their minds and came back.
I clawed my way to my feet and fumbled in the darkness until I found the door. My hand shook as I scrambled to pull it open. Fresh air whooshed around me, followed by the familiar sounds of cars and people rushing past in a big city.
The streetlights blurred in my eyes. I stumbled down the sidewalk, using the buildings to guide me. But a wretched sickness was rising inside me. Threatening to consume me. And before I could stop it, I bent forward and vomited all over the sidewalk, unable to hold it in.
I wasn’t sure how I made it back to the old church, but the second I stepped inside the café, a kind woman took one look at me and steered me toward the restroom. “In here. Oh, you look like you’ve had quite a day.”
I cleaned up as best as I could, glad there were no other women in the bathroom with me. Luckily, I’d managed not to get sick all over my clothes, which was the only blessing I could see in this whole fucked-up day. Slowly, I tugged my sweater up and pushed my bra aside. Bruises marred my skin. Fingertip marks that were already darkening.
Bile threatened again, but I fought it back. Dropping my sweater back down, I glanced at my reflection and knew that even if I could somehow hide those bruises from Luc, he was going to take one look at my pale skin and deer-in-the-headlights eyes and know something had happened.
I forced myself to breath slowly, in and out. Closed my eyes. When my fingers shook against the sink, I grabbed the ceramic object and squeezed until pain shot up my arms.
I could handle this. I was okay. Bruises were nothing. I’d dealt with everything else they’d done to us by sheer strength of will. I just had to keep doing what I’d been doing. I had to stay strong.
Hysteria threatened again, but somehow I beat it back. I couldn’t spend all day in the bathroom.
After splashing water on my face, I fixed my hair as best I could. Then I shuffled toward the bathroom door. When I stepped out, I was surprised to see Eve, the receptionist from upstairs, waiting for me with a mug in her hand.
“You look a little better, but not a whole lot.” She reached for my arm and gently steered me toward a table in the corner of the café. “Sit.” She set the mug in front of me, then took the other seat. “And drink that.”
I lifted the cup to my lips and sipped, then coughed. “It’s whisky.”
“Drink it all. It’ll help.”
Her voice was kind, not chastising, and I did as she said, not because I particularly liked the taste, but because I knew the alcohol would help me relax. And I needed to find some way to stop shaking before I saw Luc.
“Boy, you are a mess,” she said in a soft voice as I lowered the mug to the table. “Don’t worry, though, I’ve got cosmetics upstairs. We’ll get you fixed up before you have to see him.”
I wasn’t sure why she was being so nice to me. Or what she was doing here. “How...? Are they done?”
“Almost. I called your cell, but you didn’t answer. So I came down looking for you. Glad I caught you before you went up.”
This was all too surreal. Too much. I braced my head in my hand. “Y-you don’t seem surprised by this. By me.”
“I’m not. In this job, I’ve seen my fair share of stressed spouses and family members. You’re a little more anxious than most, but it’s understandable, all things considered.”
I had no idea what that meant, and I didn’t want to give away anything more than she already knew—whatever that might be.
“Don’t worry.” Her hand closed over mine against the mug. “Abigail is very good at what she does.”
I closed my eyes, fighting back another wave of sickness because I didn’t even want to think about what Abigail “did.” Or was doing upstairs with my husband.
“It’s all very innocent, I promise,” Eve said with a smile in her voice, as if she’d read my mind. “They’re just talking. Abigail has a way of getting to the root of what’s really bothering a person. And she’s been dealing with Entente families for a long time. Things will be better after this, trust me.”
I wanted to believe her, but I’d learned not to believe anyone in this world. “Are you sure?” I glanced up at her. “They’re just talking?”
“Absolutely. Abigail and Felicity Merrick have been friends for years. Felicity called a few days ago and said you or your husband might be making an appointment. Then she threatened Abigail within an inch of her life if she did anything to mess up your relationship. To be honest, I think Abby was a little afraid to meet you.”
Some part of me was thrilled by that news—although mutedly so.
I drew in a shaky breath, fighting the panic that still wanted to pull me under, trying to forget what had happened in that darkened entryway. “This is all my fault,” I whispered. “All of it. He wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for me.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Yes, it is.” I slid both hands into my hair and fisted the locks, pulling just hard enough to send a shot of pain across my scalp. “If I hadn’t stuck my nose where it didn’t belong, Luc would still be in New York. None of this would have happened to him. His family wouldn’t have their hooks in him, trying to drag him back like they’re doing now.”
“Listen to me.” Eve’s fingers tightened around mine. “I don’t know the specifics of what you’re talking about, but I do know this. You’re not responsible for anyone else’s actions. And it’s a waste of time and energy to play the I-shouldn’t-have game. You can’t go back and change the past. You can only make a conscious decision not to repeat past mistakes.”
I knew that. I did. But knowing and believing were two very different things. And I’d already made another huge mistake. I’d made a deal with the devil himself, and now I—we—were about to pay the price for that deal.
I pressed the heels of my hands against my eyes and fought back the tears that wanted to overwhelm me. I was scared Luc was going to take one look at me and know what had happened today with Gio. But I was even more terrified he was going to hate me forever when he realized what I’d agreed to.
“There’s good in this world, Natalie,” Eve said softly, oblivious to the true turmoil swirling inside me. “I know it’s hard to see that right now, but it’s true. Not everyone is like the people you’ve met. If you look for it, there’s more good than bad out there. I promise.”
She was wrong. The world was ruled by evil people who cared nothing for others. Those of us who actually gave a shit were the ones who were doomed to suffer for all eternity.