Jafar readjusts Jasmine’s dress to cover her breasts. She makes a protesting sound, but he leans down and gives her a quick kiss. “We’ll go to your favorite room in back.”
“The study?” Just like that, she doesn’t seem all that concerned that I left her hanging. She twists to face him fully. “Right now?”
“Yes, baby girl. Right now.”
I scoot out of the booth and move so they can do the same. Something akin to jealousy sours my stomach as Jafar takes Jasmine’s hand and leads her to the door that will take them deeper into the Underworld. They’re headed to the private room designed just like an upscale study, but if I know them—and I do—they’ll allow for an audience. If Jafar is in the mood, maybe even some outside participation. He knows what Jasmine wants, what she needs, and he never hesitates to provide.
“Meg.”
I forget, for half a second, that Hercules stands at my side. A living reminder of how little control I have in my own life, of how little my needs matter. Hades plays his games. Hercules obeys, no matter the cost. Where does that leave me? Scrambling to patch up the heart that Hades keeps shredding, over and over again. Every time he turns away instead of reaching out to me, it’s like Declan abandoning me but a thousand times worse because I was infatuated with Declan. I love Hades. I love him so much I stay despite the tiny cuts he deals out during every conversation, unintentionally or not. I swallow hard, hating the burning in my throat. “Let’s go.”
Another night, another scene with Hades as he draws Hercules deeper. I shouldn’t resent the man walking at my back for holding so much of my lover’s attention, but it’s hard not to feel like they’re leaving me out in the cold. Maybe not physically, but emotionally. I should be used to it by now. Hades and I are too broken. We guard our jagged pieces like junkyard dogs with their dubious treasure. I can’t remember the last time I let myself be truly vulnerable, so I guess I’m as much to blame as he is. That knowledge doesn’t cheer me in the least.
Hercules doesn’t speak until he closes the door to Hades’s public office behind us. “You’re mad at me.”
Mad. Hurt. Too raw to admit to any of it. It’s not fair to be angry with Hercules for being privy to a part of Hades that used to be mine alone. Maybe it’s not even fair to be angry with Hades about it, either. Relationships change. Maybe I’m the one to blame, the one who’s too stubborn and stupid to let go of something that’s no longer working. The one hanging on when it’s pretty damn obvious I’m being replaced.
I sound more tired than angry when I say, “Hardly. You’re being a good little submissive. The best Hades could ask for. Who am I to complain?”
“Don’t do that.”
“Don’t do what?”
He touches my shoulder. Of course he does. Requesting, always polite to the bitter end. Never grabbing, never demanding. I want to rail against him, but it’s just who Hercules is. I allow him to turn me to face him, and then I can’t help but drink in the sight of him. His body is sun-kissed carved stone, and it’s revealed in all its glory by the tiny shorts that barely cover his cock and ass. The collar around his thick neck thrills me even as I tell myself not to feel that way.
He’s not mine, not really.
He belongs to Hades.
I finally get to his blue eyes, and I rock back on my heels at the anger in them. Hercules drops his hand from my shoulder. “What the fuck was that?”
“What the fuck was what?”
“I know you’re pissed about earlier, but shoving Jasmine in my face felt shitty.”
A curious static rolls over my thoughts. I straighten. “What makes you think my finger-fucking Jasmine has anything to do with you whatsoever? I wanted her. End of story.”
“Maybe it started out that way. But the second I showed up, you did it to punish me. To hurt me.”
He’s a little right, but I’m not about to admit it. “I hate to be the one to have to explain this to you, but not everything I do has the slightest thing to do with you.”
But he’s not listening. Hercules leans down, his expression intent. “You’re furious at me.”
Something snaps in my chest. All my years of learning to control my words and expressions and this man cuts through my efforts without even trying. Anyone else in this building would be content to let me have my masks. Hades is content to let me lie when it suits him, to lock away the messy emotions.
Not Hercules. He just keeps poking and prodding until I feel like I’m going mad with it. I drag my fingers through my hair. “Of course I’m furious at you, you asshole! You rejected me, and it hurt.” The truth, stark and startling, colors the air between us.
“There you are.” He doesn’t move back, but some of his anger seems to abate. “I was following orders, Meg.”
Now that I’ve let slip a little transparency, I can’t seem to stop. “That’s bullshit. You chose Hades over me. That’s what you were doing.”
He jerks like I’ve struck him. “Is that what you really think?”
“That’s what really happened, so yes, Hercules, that’s exactly what I think. Because it’s the truth.”
He studies me, suddenly looking steadier than I’ve seen him since we met. Hercules shakes his head. “You’re upset about the rejection, but it’s more than that.”
Damn him. Damn him for seeing me even when I don’t want him to. I take a step back, but I can’t stop the words that are pressing against the inside of my lips. Words not meant for him, but that doesn’t seem to matter. “He’s replacing me.”
“What?”
My damn eyes are burning again, but I won’t let a single tear fall. “Hades told you what his plans are.”
Guilt flares on his expressive face. “Not exactly.”
“But he told you why he picked you.”
“Yes.”
It’s nothing more than I already suspected, nothing more than he’d already confirmed, but each word is a blow to my crumbling walls. I feel like a fool for thinking Hades and I could fix our relationship while Hades was scouring for someone to fill the shoes I used to walk in. “It’s been years since Hades told me even that much. He lets you in when he shuts me out. Hard to misconstrue that.”
He’s already shaking his head before the last word is out of my mouth. “You’re wrong. He loves you.”
“He used to.” I take a step back. “I’m going to go. You and Hades can continue your little love fest without using me as a buffer.”
A buffer. That’s exactly what I am to them. A way for Hades to avoid admitting that he wants Hercules. A way for Hercules to keep his pride even though he wants Hades back just as much. As soon as they get past that particular hurdle, they won’t need me at all and they’ll discard me just like Declan did.
I. Am. Done.
I manage one step before Hercules’s big hand closes around my upper arm. “Wait.”
“Fuck off.”
He hauls me to a stop. “You’re not a buffer.”
“Sweet of you to say, but that’s bullshit.” The burning in my throat is back, stronger than before. I have to get out of here, and I have to do it now. “Let go, Hercules.”