Rose had barely kept her composure. Guilt filled her for having almost shot Seth, of all people, and she desperately wanted him to leave so she could lock herself in her apartment and never come out again.
But Seth wasn’t going anywhere, was he? She gritted her teeth. I’m not going to be bullied by another man—no matter how handsome he is.
“Protect me? What, like some bodyguard?”
He lifted a shoulder. “Call it what you want.”
She laughed, because it sounded so ridiculous. “Well, you can’t exactly follow me around everywhere, so good luck with that. I’m not paying you.”
“Call it a favor.”
She stared at him incredulously. He wasn’t joking. She had a feeling Seth Thornton rarely joked, and certainly not about something like this. Her throat felt dry and scratchy, and she could still smell Johnny’s stupid clove cigarettes on her clothes.
“You know what?” she said, exasperated. “Do what you want. I don’t have time for this. I’m tired, I had a shitty day at work, and then my ex-boyfriend shows up at my door. Then you act like Kevin Costner trying to be tough. I’m good, thanks.”
She finished off her wine and set down the cup a little too forcefully, and she almost growled when she saw Seth’s eyes crinkle in amusement.
“What is it with men?” she groused as she moved toward her single chair in her living room. “All they ever do is try to control me. And I’m tired of it.”
Seth stepped around the kitchen island and grasped her elbow, forcing her to turn around. His grip was gentle, but his expression was not.
“I’m not interested in controlling you,” he said in a low voice that sent shivers down her spine. “I’m here because you were so scared that you pointed a gun at me. I have a feeling you need more help than you’re willing to say.”
She stared into his green eyes, her heart pounding in her throat. She wanted, rather desperately, for him to kiss her. It was a strange reaction, all things considered, but she reasoned it was because she knew his kiss would make her forget. His kiss would make her feel safe for once.
But the ever-present fear wouldn’t let her indulge herself. She thought of forceful kisses that had ended in things she’d rather forget. When she began to shake, Seth’s expression gentled.
“Talk to me, princess. Won’t you talk to me?”
She gasped for air. “If I talk, I’ll never stop.”
If I talk, you won’t want to be near me anymore.
Was that her true fear? That everyone in her life would reject her once they knew what she’d done, even though she’d done it to save her brother?
She struggled between the desire to share her burden with Seth and the fear of his disgust.
So she said nothing, because in the end, silence was always the safest option.
“I need to go to bed,” she whispered, pulling away from his grip.
His eyes roved over her face, and it was in that moment that she knew he wasn’t going to let her go that easily. She wondered if part of the reason she quivered was from the knowledge that this man could mean more to her than she could ever imagine.
He brushed a finger across her cheek. “Good night,” he said.
After he left, she locked the door and checked it twice, then she took her gun into her bedroom. She only fell asleep feeling the weight of it against her palm.
Chapter Five
“Hey Rose, can you get my table?” Rebecca asked, her expression harried. Rebecca had just started at The Fainting Goat, and she tended to get overwhelmed easily.
Rose waved a hand. “Go take a break. I’ll take care of them.”
Rebecca sent her a grateful look and sneaked to the back, where she’d stay until Trent noticed one of his latest waitresses had disappeared. Rose enjoyed working at the local bar: Trent and his assistant manager, Landon, were fair, although they expected their employees to work hard and follow the rules. Rose had been astonished when Trent had told her that not only did his staff receive more than minimum wage, but they kept the tips they received.
Rose had almost jumped at the chance when Trent had called her and told her he had a position for her.
Despite the decent wages and tips, it still wasn’t a ton of money. Although Fair Haven was a far cry from being as expensive as Seattle just south of them, the cost of living was high. Thus the reason why Rose had an apartment but no bed at the moment.
Trent generally made the rounds of all three of his restaurants weekly, although Rose had been surprised to see him in today. He usually enjoyed Saturdays with his new wife and baby.
When Trent saw her surprised face, he laughed. “Don’t tell Lizzie I’m here, or she’ll kill me. But Landon wants me to look over some books, and Ash is in Vancouver, the asshole.”
Rose’s lips twitched. Ash was Trent’s younger brother, who also did his books. Rose had found Ash both ridiculously handsome and almost unknowable, with his sarcasm and banter.
And he didn’t hold a candle to another man who had haunted her thoughts for weeks now.
As Rose was bringing out food for one of her tables, she spotted Lizzie with Bea. She barely stifled a laugh. Poor Trent was in for it now.
Rose had to pass by Lizzie to get to the kitchen, and Lizzie’s face brightened with genuine warmth upon seeing her. Rose had found Lizzie Thornton—now Lizzie Younger—extremely intimidating, given that she was a real-life pop star. Rose loved Lizzie’s albums and had barely stopped herself from turning into some teenage fan girl. But Lizzie had a sweetness about her that made you instantly comfortable in her presence. It helped that she usually had Bea with her, who was easily the cutest baby in existence.
“Is my stupid husband here?” Lizzie asked. At Rose’s expression, she sighed. “He promised he wouldn’t come in tonight. It’s date night.”
“I think he just needed to check something,” Rose said. When Bea noticed Rose, she gave her a toothless smile.
“Here, will you hold her so I can knock some sense into Trent? I’ll just be a minute.”
Rose hesitated, but then Lizzie placed the warm bundle in her arms, and Rose was instantly smitten.
“Excellent. You’re the best,” Lizzie said before going into the back to find her husband.
Bea could just hold her head up at this point, although since Rose knew very little about infants, she made sure to keep a hand under the baby’s head just in case as she lifted her to her shoulder. Bea smelled like baby powder and that mysterious scent babies had that lured you in. Rose laughed when Bea tried to gnaw on her shoulder, although if she weren’t so cute, she’d be more dismayed at the drool stain on her t-shirt.
She caught Bea’s gaze, and she couldn’t help but marvel at how much Bea looked like Seth. Maybe it was the eyes, or the dark hair, or maybe she was just seeing things. Babies tended to look like everybody and nobody at this stage.
Her stupid heart clenched at the thought of Seth and babies, and she pushed away the thought ruthlessly before it wiggled deeper into her heart.
“Is there something you need to tell me?” Heath approached with a smile.
Rose rolled her eyes. “This is Bea. You’ve met Lizzie and Trent’s daughter, right?”