“Do you carry your gun everywhere?” Seth asked quietly as Callie sniffed a hydrangea.
“Why do you want to know?”
“Curiosity.”
“Yes, for the most part. I’m legal, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
That made him smile. “I wasn’t. You seem to know how to handle a gun regardless.”
“You sound surprised.”
“No, merely impressed.”
Pride filled her, and she ducked away so he wouldn’t see her smile. Coming from a military man, she considered that to be a high compliment.
She suddenly wished she could tell him the reason why she carried a gun—why her memories forced her to protect herself the best way she knew how. Under the night sky, the moon heavy and low, it seemed as if they were the only two people in the entire world.
“So what happens now? Is this how you’re going to live your life forever?”
His voice was calm, like he was asking the time, yet she felt the tone stiffen her shoulders. She didn’t need another man judging her for her choices. She had Heath for that, thank you very much.
“Here’s a real question,” she countered, “why do you care?”
Seth didn’t answer right away, and Rose barely restrained herself from looking away from his intense gaze.
Finally, he muttered, “I don’t know.”
Callie did her business, and Rose brushed by Seth to return to the apartment. They’d only walked a block, although it had felt much farther.
“Rose.”
He caught her by the elbow, forcing her to slow down. Her back was to him, yet she felt his touch like a brand. She gripped Callie’s leash harder.
“I don’t know why I care,” he admitted into the night air, “but I do. I can’t explain it.”
She let out a laugh. “Maybe you should figure that out first.”
He brushed his other hand down her arm until he embraced her from behind. Now Rose trembled, and she felt her body go hot and cold at the same time. His breath heated her cheek.
“You feel it too. I know you do.” His stubble brushed her cheek. “Tell me I’m wrong, princess.”
“Don’t call me that.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.
He turned her head so she met his gaze. Although he had his arms around her, she had the feeling that if she pushed him away, he’d let her go. It was that realization that burst something inside her, something she couldn’t yet understand.
When he bent down and kissed her, she was certain her heart would explode inside her chest. He tasted like spice and something she couldn’t identify, and within a moment the kiss turned heated, like a fire catching on dry tinder. She opened her mouth to his invasion, and his grip tightened around her waist.
Rose had been kissed before: some kisses had been good, others had been worth forgetting. This kiss, though, turned her inside out. Her heart beat in her ears; a flush traveled from her chest to her cheeks until she was thankful for the darkness around them. She moaned as he kissed her, licking inside her mouth, making her tremble even harder.
When Callie yanked on the leash, Rose returned to herself. Turning, she pushed Seth’s hands away. Like she’d thought, he let her go.
“I need to take Callie inside,” she explained. Callie, for her part, just wagged her tail and didn’t seem at all concerned about going inside. Rose tugged on the leash until Callie got up to follow her.
Seth didn’t say anything as she left him standing there. She heard him go inside his apartment, and she listened as he walked around. She wished he would go to sleep, because until he did, she’d never be able to close her eyes.
But when she did finally fall asleep, all of her dreams were of Seth anyway.
Chapter Six
Seth hated the dreams the most.
They always started innocuously enough: he was back in the deserts of Afghanistan, the heat and the sand palpable. He heard his fellow soldiers laughing and joking around as they returned from some mission. Seth had moved up the ranks to corporal by the time he’d gone on inactive duty, and although he hadn’t been in charge of anyone, he had acted like a mentor to the newbies by the time he’d started his second tour.
In this dream, Seth watched as his best friend and fellow corporal Max Meyers waved at him to join him. They were in the middle of the desert, and Seth didn’t know what Max wanted to show him. He jogged up to Max, who pointed to something in the sand.
“I can’t see anything,” Dream Seth said, confused.
Max grinned. Max had a smile that you’d never forget, his teeth crooked yet his grin infectious. He was the jokester of their group, always trying to keep people’s spirits up. Seth had found Max annoying when he’d first joined, but through sheer force of will, Max had gotten Seth to be his friend.
Dream Max pointed at some spot in the sand. “Can’t you see it? It’s right there.”
“What’s right there?”
“Seriously? Come on, Seth, you’re pulling my leg here.”
Seth was about to tell his friend to fuck off when Max stepped forward onto the spot. Then, before Seth could warn Max, or warn anyone around them, the spot exploded.
The sound was deafening. Seth flew into the air, and it was like time had stopped. When he finally landed on his back, the breath leaving his body, he felt the spray of blood on his face. He tried to scream Max’s name, but his voice was caught in his throat.
Crawling, unable to see with the smoke and the sand obscuring his vision, Seth found something warm. It was an arm, slick with blood. As Seth’s vision cleared, he saw in horror that it wasn’t Max: it was Rose.
Rose, lying in the sand, bleeding her life away. She gasped something, and Seth tried to get her to stay still and quiet. He yelled, but it came out as a hoarse groan. And then, right before his eyes, Rose closed her eyes and breathed her last.
The scream caught in Seth’s throat emerged as a shout that woke him from a sound sleep. Gasping for air, his entire body covered in a cold sweat, Seth took in lungfuls of air. His heart beat so fast it felt like it would beat out of his chest.
It was a dream. Just a dream.
He wondered if he was going to puke. Sometimes he did, depending on the nightmare. Other times he lay in bed, not wanting to return to sleep. Having your dreams haunt you made sleep unbearable.
Seth rose from his bed, the sheets damp with sweat, and he stumbled to the bathroom to take a shower. He let the water run until it went cold, but even then, he felt dirty.
This had been the first time his dreams had featured Rose. He couldn’t stop seeing her dead in the sand, her life bleeding away as he could do absolutely nothing for her.
It was close to five a.m. Seth started a pot of coffee and sat down on the couch, knowing he’d never get back to sleep.
Seth had seen Lizzie fall apart after she’d gotten pregnant with Trent’s baby and then subsequently miscarried. Seth hadn’t known about the pregnancy until Trent had called him one night in February, telling Seth that he was afraid Lizzie might die from her miscarriage.
Seth had driven to Seattle in a terrified trance. The only thing that had kept him from losing it was the desire to punch the living daylights out of Trent for doing this to his twin sister.