The long pause had my heart beating so hard that I actually wondered if the room of diners could hear it. I wanted her desperately to say yes, but I also knew that the information I had just given her and the proposal of what would come next was enough to scare her right back to Costa Rica.
“Yes, I want to marry you,” she said softly. “But if I do this, will I be safe?”
I didn’t want to lie to her. I knew that the answer she wanted to hear was me to say of course she would be. But that was not the truth.
“You’ll be safe as long as you do as you are told. There is no backing down or changing your mind once you start. They’ll kill you before they let you go. But if you do everything asked of you, and you allow me to lead us toward the light, we will get out of the darkness. But you will have to have complete trust in me. I’ll get us through this as hard as it may be to believe it at times. I’m not going to lie to you and say this will be easy. I also wouldn’t ask you to do this if I didn’t think you were strong enough. Very few spouses can do what I’m asking of you. But I know you, Cheri. I know you wouldn’t want the same life most women in my circle live. You aren’t the type of woman who can simply sit on a board for some charity, attend fancy parties and smile. You’ll want more. You’ll want all of me and all of my life. You won’t want secrets. You don’t want to be the woman who has to be sent away when important business decisions are discussed.”
“That’s true,” she said. “I know that’s the life my mother led, and I don’t want that. She played dumb and just acted like she knew nothing. I’m assuming my father was a member of The Iron Colt Brotherhood since I had heard them mentioned when I maybe shouldn’t have. I had heard stories, saw some at parties with their hired guards, and even at dinner at my house. Though my mother never acted like she knew a thing. My father protected her, and now I know why. But look where that put her. She’s weak, penniless, and delusional that all will be fine and someone will take care of her. I promised myself I never would be like her in that regard. I won’t be a weak, helpless and kept woman no matter if I marry a prince or not. So, if doing this initiation means I can marry you but still retain my strength and not just be arm candy to a prince, then yes, I want to go through with this. No matter how scary and daunting this sounds.”
A sense of relief and fear attacked me at once. I would do everything within my power to keep her safe, but I also knew how the brotherhood operated.
“They will kill you, Cherise, if you agree to this and then get cold feet. Once you open this door, there is no turning back. They will consider it an act of betrayal.”
She nodded slowly. “But they won’t kill me or hurt me as long as I act submissive and do as I am told. I can do this… if it means I can marry you but not eventually lose myself in the royal life… it will be worth it.”
“But I really want you to understand. It will be sexual. It will be depraved in more ways than you can imagine. It will also tap into your most forbidden and taboo desires. You will feel pleasure and pain, fear and ecstasy all bundled together. Your mind will scream that everything happening to you is wrong, but your body will overrule by knowing it’s right. I will be there. I will guide you, but this journey is yours.”
She nodded again. “So what happens next? When does this initiation happen?”
“You’ll be picked up tomorrow by someone who works for the brotherhood. I’m not sure when, or where, but it will happen. We are going to tell everyone that you and I are on an engagement trip. I have no idea how long we’ll be away for this initiation, so we will not give a date of our return. The media, our families and friends, will all just assume we are on a romantic trip.”
“And when will I see you?” she asked.
“I’ll be there. I don’t know all the details either. I don’t know everything that will happen, or what will be asked of you. But I assure you, that I will be there.”
“Okay. I’ll do it.”
“Cheri…” I began. “You need to take this seriously. The men in charge of the initiation can be cruel and without mercy. I will do everything within my power to protect you, but I can’t if you get mouthy, fight back, or try to run. The minute I tell The Iron Colt Brotherhood that you have accepted to be initiated, you will have to completely comply.”
“I understand that,” she said softly. “I knew that marrying you would come with some hidden ties. I knew this.”
“I also need to warn you,” I said in an even tone. “I am not going to be the Prince Roman you grew up with when we are among the brotherhood. You will see the devil inside me emerge. I need you to be prepared.”
She nodded and locked eyes with mine. “I can do this, Roman. I will. If it means that we can live our lives together without this chain around our necks, then I will do it.”
And I would as well. I knew deep down that the initiation had to happen for us to ever be able to live a normal life. I didn’t want to have to fear for her life, or have to make deals to keep her safe. I had power in the brotherhood, and I wanted my wife to as well. It wouldn’t be easy, but I knew if any woman could pull through this, it would be my Cheri.
Chapter Ten
Cheri
I saw the black sedan waiting on the corner as I took a morning walk. I knew they would come, but that didn’t ease the fear I had. There was no way around the inevitable no matter how much I had hoped otherwise. If I wanted a life with Roman not cloaked in dark secrets, I needed to allow this initiation to happen. There was no escaping The Iron Colt Brotherhood in this new life of mine, so I might as well embrace all that it meant and required from me. But though my mind tried to be reasonable, my body, my heart, and my terrified soul screamed out against it.
I could run. Self-preservation kicked in as my eyes darted from side to side looking for an escape route. Yes, I could run… and I would be caught. Running from The Iron Colt Brotherhood only made things worse. I knew this.
Fuck. I knew this.
It was time for the initiation.
Lifting my chin, straightening my spine, and taking a deep breath to steady my nerves, I approached the vehicle. In order to survive, I would need to face the monster head on. Maybe if I showed no fear, I could mask my terror with bravado. Charm and grace had worked wonders for me in the past, and there was always hope that those same attributes, when utilized correctly, could work again.
As I approached the driver’s side of the car, the tinted window lowered to reveal a man with a rigid jaw, dark eyes, and about two days’ growth of facial hair. I didn’t recognize him, but I didn’t need to in order to know he worked for The Iron Colt Brotherhood. I assumed people who looked cold and emotionless all worked for The Iron Colt Brotherhood. All employees seemed to be the same. No friends or family really. Loners. A past that made them not care about the future. I had seen enough at parties, heard enough stories about what they did, but seeing someone up close and personal… for me… was a different experience.
“Get in the car,” he ordered. His tone was flat, firm, and just like his appearance, void of life.
For a split second, the thought of running attacked all my senses again, but I pushed it to the deepest depth of my being, opened the back door, and climbed in. Everything seemed to move in slow motion. I kept hearing the words of my mother when I was a child telling me to never get into the car of strangers. Never speak to strangers. Never do what I was doing.