I try not to sound overly adamant, even though there’s no way I’d take Vanessa. “For sure not. I don’t want to give her the wrong impression. You know, when you invite a girl to be your plus one to a wedding it screams, ‘Let’s go further with this.’ I’m good going single. I know other people who will be there. You asking Julie?”
“Absolutely. No other woman is on my radar. I’m going to keep pursuing her until she tells me not to.” I can hear his frustration and longing through the phone.
“Good man. Keep it up. She’ll get the hint one of these days. Though you may have to hire a marching band and a skywriter to get through to her.” I chuckle and he lets out a sigh.
“Hopefully it doesn’t come to that. Well, take care, Jack. I’ll see you tomorrow at the gym.”
“Yeah. You too. Later man.”
Really, I’m good with going single to Mark’s wedding. It’s easier to slip out when I want to. I sure wouldn’t want to invite Vanessa and give her the false impression that I want more. I think she got the message after last night. If Katrina were around, I wouldn’t mind asking her. I would love another chance to get to hear that laugh. I wonder what she’d look like dressed for a wedding. Those jeans and that loose top she was wearing the day we met were just fine by me. Still, picturing her in a formal dress. That does things to me.
I think I’ve officially lost my mind. I’m fully turning Katrina into some larger than life fantasy. No real person can possibly be that incredible. Besides, the odds are so stacked against me ever seeing her again. There are seven billion people in the world. My chances of running into her seem about seven billion to one to be exact. I need to get my mind off impossibilities and start focusing on what I really want to do with my life instead of living like a hamster on a wheel with no sense of purpose or direction.
Between packing Mom’s, seeing Caleb, meeting Katrina, and having to return to deal with Joel, something feels newly resolved inside me. I pull open my laptop before I jump in the shower. I start researching what it takes to open a coffee shop. About two hours pass. I haven’t cleaned up from my run or even eaten yet. I’m consumed with this idea. I call my accountant friend, Jason.
“Hey, Jason.”
“Hey, Jack, What’s up?”
“I’m just thinking about something long term. I need to get your thoughts on the financial aspects of this idea.” No need to get him thinking I need a padded cell or an intervention.
“What can I help you with?”
“If I were to take the profit from the sale of Mom’s house and add in some of my own savings, what are we looking at if down the road I want to open a coffee shop?”
“Are you serious?”
Am I? I feel serious. Anyway, I’m just inquiring for now. “Not yet. Of course, not now. I’m just looking long term. And please keep this between the two of us.”
“Of course. You will need a loan either way. In your case, your credit is good. You have some collateral, and you should be able to swing what they call an SBA. It’s sort of a no-risk for your lender to grant you that. I’ll send over details if you want.”
“Please do. I want to get facts in place as I look at my options. Thanks, man.”
“You got it.”
I’m smiling as I hang up. Maybe I am crazy. As far as my friends are concerned, I have the dream job, live in a prime location in L.A., and have the life they all aspire to live. Only I’m coming to see it’s not the life I aspire to live. Maybe it’s Mom’s passing. I’m realizing life is too short to be spent working for men like Joel and dating women like Vanessa. I want to live all-in.
chapter five
Katrina
I’m sitting at a table at Sandy and Mark’s wedding reception when I see a man standing across the room near the side doors. Is that Jack? It couldn’t be. Has he been stalking me? Okay, Kat. Get a grip. Guys don’t show up looking like they could be a model for a tux brochure just to kidnap a woman they met months ago at a truck stop. Especially not guys who stepped in to save the day like Jack did. Still, there he is looking so very yummy in that suit. I already know he can fill out a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, but this … this is perfection. Jack in a suit is enough to make a Mother Superior give up her vows. But not this girl. No. No men. That’s my mantra and I’m sticking to it.
He must be with a date. I would have a date, but Michael couldn’t come as my plus one. Not that Michael is a date. He’s just, well, he’s Michael, more like a little brother than a potential love interest. A man like Jack surely has no shortage of options when it comes to dating. Still, he’s standing there, alone. He’s looking this direction. Oh, I think he saw me. He’s coming over. Keep it together, Kat. No men. No men. No men …
He looks down at me and grins a genuine smile. “Katrina, what a surprise. I couldn’t believe it was you when I saw you. Do you know the bride or the groom?”
“No men.”
“What?”
“Um. What? Oh, the bride. The bride. She’s my cousin, actually.” What in the world. Did I just blurt out my mantra to Jack? Seriously. This man does things to addle my brain. How can that be? I only met him on a roadside for a few hours. That’s not the beginning of anything. It’s just a coincidence we’re both here. I look up at him. His eyes are light hazel with blue and gold flecks spotting green and brown background. I’d love to take a close up of those eyes and frame it. They have a warmth and kindness, but also maybe something like pain around the edges. I could get lost in those eyes.
“Kat?” He’s looking at me with a slightly amused expression on his face.
“Uh, what? Did you say something?”
“Yes. I was asking how your trip to Africa was.”
“Oh, sorry. Yes. It was great. Great really. I mean. Really great.” Good night. Where did my verbal skills run off to? I would pay a dear price to have access to the English language right now. Apparently my body has overridden my brain for the time being. Every nerve ending is firing on all cylinders and I’m not complaining. The effect Jack has on me is like taking a warm bubble bath with candles and some yummy tea. So soothing. Oh my, I don’t need to be thinking about bubble baths around Jack.
He’s staring at me. “Tell me all about it.”
“About what?”
“Africa”
“Oh, yes. Well, it was great. I already said that. Right. Great. The people are so warm and kind. The children stole my heart too. I captured some amazing shots and even had the privilege of seeing the tribe I told you about – the Batwa. It wasn’t my first trip to Africa, but I haven’t been in a while and whenever I’m there I want to stay permanently. It’s just the pace, the people, the scenery.” There. I made some coherent sense. Finally. I look over at Jack and he has this calm smile on his face like I’m really entertaining him and all he wants is to sit and listen to me talk about my trip.
“Your trip sounds amazing. Are you here alone? Would you like to dance?”
I guess I can dance. I can dance, of course. I know how. It’s just whether I should dance with someone like Jack. Does dancing fall inside or outside the rules of a man-fast? I guess if he’s asking me to dance, he’s not here with a date either. I wonder why. He’s smiling at me and waiting for an answer while I stand here mulling over the pros and cons of a dance with him. Oh goodness. It’s only a dance. “I am here alone. Sure, Jack. Yes. I’d love to dance.”