“If he does, you know I’ll be waiting to let him in before I read him the riot act. He’s welcome here any time. You’re family. All of you.” Mike rubbed his temple. “I’d offer to let him stay while you’re working on this project, but we both know that isn’t the point. You need to see if he can adapt. If any of us can.”
Joe didn’t bother to deny it. And if Mike had officially extended the invitation, it would have been too easy to take him up on it. Nathan and Abby were best friends, even now that they weren’t so young anymore. Ripping them apart was going to wound more than just them. His own heart might never recover. But like Morgan had said, if that was the case, they could always come back. Just to somewhere other than their too-small apartment.
He drew a deep, if shaky, breath. “Thanks. Mike…”
“Yeah?”
“Am I being the most selfish motherfucker in the world?” Joe scrunched his eyes closed. Even now he still couldn’t be sure he was doing the right thing.
“Nah, I don’t think so.” Mike reached out and put his hand on Joe’s knee. “There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be closer to Tom and Eli. They’re your family too. So are the Hot Rods and Hot Rides gangs. We’ve known them damn near forever. And they need you now. Plus, you obviously need them.”
“I can’t really explain why. But…yeah, I do.”
“You’re likely to be in the running for godfather and not only uncle. Which is a great thing. So go, Joe.” Mike stood then and walked to the window. He spread his legs and clasped his hands behind his back as he looked out onto the lawn outside, and the pool in the neighboring yard. The place where so many things had begun for them. And maybe where a few ended after today. “You know where to find us. We’ll always be here for you.”
“But what if you’re not? Not here, I mean.” A tiny wisp of hope rose in Joe like the smoke from Dave and Kayla’s chimney had that night they welcomed him home. What if the rest of the Powertools could make a new place too…
“Of course we will be.” Mike turned, his head cocked as if anything else was inconceivable.
Joe knew then that the crew wasn’t yet ready to hear his greatest desire. And likely never would be.
If he and Morgan did this, they were doing it on their own. And that scared the shit out of him. But he’d never know how it would work out unless he tried it. Thinking about the other things in his life—like sharing with the crew—he would have missed out on if he hadn’t been bold enough to attempt something new was the motivation he needed to take this first step.
“I guess I better go and tell the kids before Abby does it for me.” Joe stood but couldn’t quite force his boots to head for the door.
“Yeah, probably too late for that. Abby texts like her fingers are on fire. But at least you can do some damage control.” Mike crossed the gap between them and slapped Joe on the back in a one-armed hug. “We’ve only ever wanted what’s best for each other, so believe me when I say that right now, this is a good move for you. I’ve felt it coming for a while. It’s okay, Joe. We won’t love you any less if you live a few states over. Even if you root for their piece-of-shit football team instead of ours.”
Joe laughed at that, but said seriously, “Don’t worry. I’m never changing teams. I’m a Powertools guy for life.”
“Good.” Mike nodded, then lifted his chin toward the door. “Get out of here and take care of your family. I’m going to do the same.”
Mike sighed and ambled toward Abby’s room, where her crying had thankfully stopped as Joe saw himself out.
13
Morgan clasped Joe’s hand as they made the familiar climb up the wooden stairs to Kayla and Dave’s cabin. She let her fingers trail along the railing, soaking in the smoothness of the freshly applied stain as well as the smell of the springtime bringing the earth to life around them. She wanted to remember everything about this place and this night for the times ahead.
Joe must have felt the weight of the evening too. He paused before opening the door to turn toward her and kiss her gently. “You ready?”
“Yeah.” Morgan smiled. “It feels almost like the first time again. I’m kind of nervous.”
“Because you know what’s coming now.” Joe tucked her hair behind her ear. “I promised, cupcake. Tonight is going to be all about you.”
“No, it’s more than that.” Morgan hugged Joe tight. “Knowing this might be our final shot—it’s a lot of pressure. I want to show them, and you, how much I love them. And how ready I am for this new adventure, even if I’m also sad and scared and…”
“God, I love you.” This time Joe’s kiss was more urgent.
And suddenly, they were both ready to charge through the door.
Except they didn’t have to. Mike yanked it open and ushered them inside. “What the hell are you doing making out on the porch? Have you already forgotten how this works?”
Dave grumbled too. “Get in here and shut the door or I’m not going to be able to send you off in style, if you know what I mean.”
“You could stand to shrink a few inches. You’ve got plenty to spare.” James shook his head at Dave.
Joe and Morgan practically ran inside, and they didn’t even bother with pleasantries before they looked at each other, grinned, and stripped.
“Well, hello to you too,” Kayla joked, already nude where she was perched beside Dave.
What little anyone else was wearing vanished by the time Morgan turned around and faced the crew. She should probably be ashamed of how brazen she was, or how greedy, but they’d long ago erased any of those bullshit feelings she’d lived with before Joe…and the crew.
“You know, I can’t say I mind all this—going away, welcome back, going away again.” Neil shrugged. “The more you flit around, the more excuses we have to party. I’m not complaining about that.”
“Unfortunately, there might not be another chance. At least not here, not with us all. Definitely not for a while.” Joe swallowed hard. “So you better get it out of your system tonight.”
“Then I guess you get to be the guest of honor since you’re getting promoted and all.” Kate smiled at him. In crew-talk, that was code for being the person who got spoiled by everyone else, usually an honor and pleasure reserved for birthdays or special occasions or healing, when someone needed special attention.
Joe seemed to recognize that right then Morgan did. He always took care of her, and tonight was not going to be the exception to that rule.
“Actually, if you all don’t mind…” Joe looked at Morgan and smiled sadly. “I want Morgan to have that experience since I feel shitty that she won’t have the opportunity on her birthday or the rest of the summer at least.”
“Are you sure?” Devon asked. “I’m pretty sure there’s enough of us to do two things…or people…at once.”
“Yeah.” Joe turned to face Morgan fully then. “Years ago, this is what you told me you desired most, and I’m taking it away from you. You haven’t complained once although I know it’s a huge sacrifice. I’m not sure how I’m going to fix that yet, but…tonight…”