Nathan nodded and held his fist out the window so Dave could bump it like they always did when they saw each other.
Someone sniffled, but Joe couldn’t look to see who or he’d say fuck it and start taking shit out of the car. Morgan reached over and rubbed his thigh.
“It’s just for a few months. Not so different from how things have been lately with you going back and forth, except maybe that we’ll get to come hang out with you instead of you visiting them.” Mike nodded once and clapped Joe on the shoulder next to his seatbelt.
“Yeah, we’ll be out for Kyra, Ollie, and Van’s engagement party at the end of the month.” James smiled.
“Actually, it’s twenty-seven days.” Figured Abby knew the exact number. Joe wouldn’t put it past her and Nathan to be keeping a countdown clock that tallied it to the second. Nathan hadn’t exploded like Abby, but he’d sulked hard for days after learning they were going to be spending a season apart. Joe wasn’t so sure the kids would tolerate it for longer than that. Or if he and Morgan could do it either.
One thing he did know: “I’ll be glad to see you all again then. No matter how far apart we are, you’ll always be with me.”
“And you’ll be one of the crew,” Mike promised.
“Not as big a part of the crew as Dave, mind you…” Neil joked before Devon smacked him in the gut with the back of her knuckles. Everyone stared at him until he shrugged. “Sorry. I suck at feelings except when I’m kidding around. I’m gonna miss the fuck out of you. You know that, right?”
Landry’s eyes got wide as he took in his honorary uncle dropping the mac-daddy curse.
Ordinarily Joe would laugh. Instead, he clenched his jaw to hold in a wail. He didn’t bother trying to respond. Instead he slung his arm around Neil’s shoulder as the guy leaned in and gave him a single squeeze before clapping his back. “I already miss you guys. I just...”
“This is what you need to do.” Mike nodded. “That’s fine. We understand. We’re not going anywhere.”
Joe winced, because he wished they were. Not that he would ask them to uproot their entire lives—their businesses, their kids, everything—just for his convenience, but if he could have anything he desired, it would be that. To keep his family, in the broadest sense of the word, whole.
Because forfeiting one giant part of himself to fill another void seemed like a brutal tradeoff.
Mike leaned on the frame of the car, peering in with a wince at the cramped space overflowing with their most important belongings. He scrubbed it away and replaced it with a terrible attempt at a reassuring smile for Morgan and the kids. “You know this ain’t a one-way street. You get out there and change your minds, turn around. Come home.”
But for the first time in a while, Joe didn’t know where exactly that was. He was lost.
Totally screwed.
Yet heading off anyway to try to get his bearings and figure things out.
“Thanks, Mike. And…I’m sorry.”
“No need for that shit.”
“Uncle Mike said a bad word,” Klea whisper-shouted to Morgan. “But not as bad as Uncle Neil.”
Mike didn’t stop to ask for forgiveness. He held his hand out, and waited for Joe to shake it before saying, “The crew is for life. We’ll figure this out. Just take care of yourself and your family, until we’re all together again to watch your back like you do ours.”
“Will do.” Joe turned the key in the ignition. If he didn’t pull away soon, he wasn’t going to be able to do it at all.
Mike nodded and stepped back, shutting the car door with a thunk that sounded too final.
Joe glanced up and saw the rest of the crew—Devon, Kayla, and Kate included—fanned out in a horseshoe behind Mike. Devon had her head on James’s shoulder and Dave knuckled one eye before Kayla put a reassuring hand on his back. As much as teetering on the verge of making this leap was agonizing for Joe, it was equally so for his friends, and his family.
Nathan rolled up his window but Abby broke free of Kate to rush over and put her hand on the glass. Nathan matched it on the other side.
Joe’s soul withered. He mashed the brake to the floor and reached for the keys to turn off the car, but Morgan encased his fingers with hers. For his ears only, she murmured, “We’re with you. I know we’re not the same as having the entire crew, but we support you because I really believe it’s best for us. You deserve this opportunity. We all do. Let’s go.”
Then she raised her voice and tipped her head toward the backseat. “Hey, Nathan, Klea. Did you know that at our new place, there’s a whole area just for you guys to play that’s not in your rooms? Dad ordered a projector so we can show movies real big on the wall and have popcorn while we watch. And Uncle Quinn said he found a dirt bike just the right size to show you how to ride on your own in our big backyard. How cool is that?”
“Seriously?” Nathan whipped his gaze toward the front of the car, his hand slipping a bit off Abby’s. Mike lifted his daughter into his arms and hugged her, tucking her face into the crook of his neck. She might have been getting a little too old for that, but she didn’t fight him. Joe realized that whether or not they stayed, nothing remained the same forever. “That’s so cool! Can I paint it green like the one in the racing show?”
“Absolutely.” Morgan smiled at him. “I’m sure your uncle Eli will be so happy to have you nearby that he’ll be glad to help you with it. Or sweet-talk Aunt Sally into doing it, I should say.”
Joe snorted. And there it was. The future they were hoping for. He could never make it a reality if he didn’t do this now. He put the car in gear, then sat up straighter.
He rolled down the window and said, “We’ll see you soon. One way or another. I promise.”
“Gonna hold you to that. Now get out of here.” Mike lifted his hand in a wave that the rest of the crew mimicked, each of them calling goodbye or shouting their love.
Right before Joe pulled away, he heard Abby’s quivering voice cry out, “Uncle Joe, I don’t hate you. I’m sorry I said that.”
He turned and blew her a kiss. “I love you too, Abby. So much. I promise we’ll have you and Landry out to visit as soon as possible, okay?”
“Promise?” she blinked at him.
“Promise.”
Abby settled with her head on Mike’s shoulder and waved. Unable to prolong their parting any longer, Joe did it. He left.
As they turned out onto their sleepy street, then along the country roads, and out across the state toward Middletown and their fate, Morgan never once let go of Joe’s knee.
“Daddy?” Nathan asked a while later.
Joe cleared his throat and answered, “Yeah?”
“I’m sorry you’re sad.” He looked at his sister. “I promise we’re going to be good. I’m just glad we’re going to be together this time. I bet Uncle Eli and Great Uncle Tom will make you feel better when we get to Middletown.”
“You know what, son? You’re right.” Joe blinked a few times to unblur his eyes, then focused on the road ahead instead of looking in the rearview mirror. There had to be a way to make this work for everyone—including the rest of the crew—and he was going to find it even if it took a while and a ton of work. “You know what else will help?”