“She’s the one who should feel guilty.”
“I can’t help it. I thought moving back here would mean we’d all share our lives. Our kids would grow up together. We’d have birthday parties and holidays together. It would be so fun and the kids would take those memories into the future and have that with their kids. The years and distance made our relationships less intimate, but I hoped we’d grow closer again and things would be like they used to be.”
“Where we bickered but loved each other.” Amy smiled, nostalgia in her eyes along with the humor in that all-too-true statement.
“Yes. We three are so different from each other, but we always managed to get through the rough patches.”
“Because we’re family.”
“Now what?” Sierra asked Amy, because she really didn’t know how to get through this, this time. An “I’m sorry” wouldn’t fix it. She couldn’t look at Heather without thinking about what happened. She couldn’t trust her.
“I wish I knew, sis, because this sucks.” Amy downed the last of her wine in one gulp. “All I know is you can’t let what happened stop you and Mason from moving forward with your relationship. Marry him. Make a beautiful blond-haired, green-eyed baby with him. Live on that ranch and spend every day grateful for your second chance and the happiness you deserve.”
Amy painted a beautiful picture of what could be.
No. What would be. Because Sierra wanted that life.
And nothing was going to stand in her way of having it. Not even herself.
“I think I’ll talk to the kids tonight about moving in with Mason.”
“Great idea. While you’re at it, pack them up and just show up on his doorstep.”
Sierra laughed. “Mason wants to fix up two of the rooms in the house and surprise them.”
“See, that’s a good man, thinking about making it fun for the boys. He wants them to see that he wants them there. You can’t give up a guy like that.”
“I have no intention of letting him get away again.” But she did want to find a way to put all this other stuff in the past where it belonged, so she could move on with Mason with a clear and open heart.
Amy checked her watch, then settled back in the seat, closed her eyes, and turned her face to the sun. “I’ve been making myself learn to do nothing but relax.”
“Self-care is important.”
“I’m not very good at it yet, but I’m trying. Rex and I are taking the kids out to dinner tonight. I don’t have anything to do until then that absolutely has to be done.”
“I bet Rex and the kids will play for at least another twenty minutes.” Sierra settled back in her chair much the same way as Amy and let the sun warm her face.
“It’s going to be okay,” Amy whispered.
The talk with her sister helped Sierra to settle many of the thoughts running around her mind, but sitting in the silence out in the garden with that whispered promise eased her heart even more. It came with all her sister’s love and understanding that there was no easy answer, except to move forward and accept that eventually everything would work out the way it was supposed to because Sierra had people who loved her in her life.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Sierra stood outside the car, the boys ready to go home and in their car seats, and stared up at Mason. “Thank you for dinner.”
“My pleasure. I’m glad your talk with Amy earlier helped.”
Sierra put her hand on his chest. “It affirmed for me that moving forward is the best way to put the past behind me. I don’t want to get lost in what happened, the why, the how, the what-ifs. It’s just so overwhelming and disheartening. It takes all the energy out of me. I loved coming back here and watching you and the boys man the barbecue.”
“They need to know how to make the perfect burger.”
“I think they’ve got it now, thanks to your expert tutelage.” She couldn’t help the smile. The boys had hung on Mason’s every word and off his arms and back as they tried to wrestle him to the ground while the burgers cooked.
Mason brushed his fingers across her lips. “I love it when you smile.”
“You always knew how to make me smile. Now, you do it for the boys.”
“They’re little monkeys.” He stretched his back, pretending he was sore. “I’m getting old.”
She tapped him in the gut, her hand hitting rock-hard muscle. The ranch kept him in great shape. “Whatever you say, grandpa.”
He locked his hands at her back and pulled her close. “I’m not too old to sweep a pretty girl off her feet.” He did just that, grabbing her waist and picking her right up.
She giggled and clasped her arms around his neck. “Put me down.”
He hugged her tighter. “You don’t mean that.”
In fact, she held on and leaned in close, her mouth an inch from his, their eyes locked. “I want you to hold on to me this time.”
The mirth in Mason’s eyes turned to sincerity. “I won’t ever let you go.” He kissed her softly, then broke the kiss and stared at her again. “I won’t ever give you a reason to leave. I promise, Sierra, you’re all I want or will ever need.”
Tears sprang to her eyes. She hadn’t known how much she needed to hear that until Mason gave her the words. “How can my heart be broken and battered and so full of love all at the same time?”
“Because you care. About me, the boys, your family, and even David and Heather. If you didn’t care, it wouldn’t hurt so much. And because you use your whole heart in everything you do, including the way you love me. I feel it, sweetheart. I’m humbled by it. I want more of it. I can’t wait for you to move in and for us to be a family.”
She pressed her forehead to his. “Soon. I promise. I don’t want to wait, either.”
He kissed her one last time, keeping things relatively tame because they had eyes on them. He set her on her feet, opened the door for her, waited for her to climb in before he looked into the back seat. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”
“Night, Mason.” Danny waved.
“Bye.” Oliver yawned.
“I better get them to bed. It’s back to school tomorrow. Don’t work too hard.”
Mason remembered the case files he’d brought home and hadn’t touched this weekend. “I won’t.” If she wasn’t staying with him, then he’d spend the next couple hours in his office, alone with his files instead of her. “Call me if you need me.”
She smiled. “I will. Promise.”
When she was home, alone, in the quiet, that’s when it was the hardest to shut off the thoughts. He knew something about that, because though he’d get his work done, the rest of the night he’d be thinking about her, them, and what he wanted their life to look like for their future.
He closed her door, waited for her to turn the car toward the main road, and waved good-bye before heading in for the night.
Drawn to the brilliant stars overhead, he looked up and stared in wonder at the sheer number of them. He picked one that seemed to wink at him.
I wish for a long and happy life with Sierra by my side. I want to watch those boys grow up into good men and find someone to love who loves them the way I love Sierra and she loves me. I want all of us to be happy.