“I’m sure if he wants to visit you at the house, he still can,” she replies, and I look at her like she’s growing an extra head right in front of me.
“What? I’m pregnant. There’s no need for him to fuck me,” I shout.
“What did I say about language? As for Grayson, he’s not getting any from me. Having you here has been a Godsend. He’s been stressed out at work lately and a release from time to time is good for him.”
“Then you fuck him. He’s your husband after all.”
“Yeah, but I don’t want to. That’s why you’re here. You can keep his dark side sated. The man has needs, you know?”
“You know what, I can’t go there with you right now. I’ve done my part. I’m pregnant. I’m not fucking Grayson again. Either you fuck him or go to marriage counseling. I’m letting you know now that I’m not cool with you sending him over to me to scratch his itch. Asking me to be your surrogate is one thing, asking me to be your husband’s whore is a whole other can of worms I’m not opening.”
I don’t say anything else. Instead, I turn towards the window, happy she stays blissfully quiet. What the hell is going on in that head of hers? Maybe she should have considered getting a divorce and not bringing a kid into their world of messed up. How could she even think Grayson would be okay with fucking me even though the job is done and I’m pregnant? She saw how he spazzed out over bringing me in, in the beginning. And what about me? How can she be so careless about my feelings? The more time I spend with him, the closer I get. Last night I got off on the possessive way he took me. How he made me scream that I belonged to him. He owned me in more ways than one, and I can’t let him get any closer. Not if I want to survive this. I need to be able to walk away with my heart, body, and soul intact.
In true Nichole fashion, she had me moved into the brownstone before the end of the week, so on Friday when I got off work, I drove there instead of the hotel. I was going to miss room service. Having been able to eat whatever I wanted in the night, without having to cook it myself, was pure bliss. Now I mostly eat takeout because I can’t cook for shit. That’s one skill I didn’t inherit from my mama.
At home, I stare at my rows and rows of clothes in my huge walk-in closet. Besides buying the house, Nichole made sure to have the closet filled with everything I could possibly need. It was all arranged in here by color and event. Most of this shit I would never get the chance to wear, but there was no telling her that. The coat issue was now a non-issue as I now own ten of them, all in different colors and styles. I even had a couple of ball gowns in there. What the fuck was I going to do with those?
Sighing, I look for something to wear to tonight’s dinner. I didn’t want to go. Since finding out I was pregnant, I have been avoiding Grayson. Most of the time he's been away at court. That big case he has with Lewis has started and they are solely focused on that. When he does come around, I act busy or run off to hide in the bathroom. I don’t want to talk to him. If I did, I’d blurt out what Nichole said about it being okay for him to visit me even though I was already preggers. If she’s said anything to him, he hasn’t let on. I feel like if she did, he would hunt me down and somehow blame the shit on me.
Washing off the work day, I dress quickly in a nice pair of jeans and a sweater. Despite being three months pregnant, I wasn’t showing. If it weren’t for the fact that I throw up every morning, I’d think the doctor fibbed to me. I wish I could go by my period, but I’ve always been irregular and three months without being on the rag isn’t unusual.
When I get to the Hastings’ house, Nichole is her usual cheery self. Grayson, on the other hand, has been silent. He wasn’t staring daggers over the dinner table at me, but I could practically feel his ire.
“Wouldn’t that be wonderful?” Nichole asks as I tune back into the conversation.
“I’m sorry, what?” I reply.
“I was talking about throwing a baby shower. I wanted to get your opinion,” she repeats sweetly.
“Why? This is your kid after all. I’m just a vessel.” Nichole frowns and Grayson gives me a look of death. What crawled up his ass? My words are true.
“That’s not entirely true, Jade. You’re more to us than just a vessel,” Nichole says in a serious tone.
I want to roll my eyes but I refrain. I don’t think voicing my opinion would go over well. Instead, I look down at my plate and pick at my food. As good as everything looks, I felt very uncomfortable being here. What Nichole said on the way back from the doctors’ really rattled me. “Isn’t it kind of early to be talking baby showers? I’m not even showing yet.”
“It’s not like it’s going to be tomorrow, silly. It’s never too early to start planning. In fact, the country club would make the perfect venue. What do you think?”
“Anything you want,” I mumble. No way am I’m telling her sitting around with a bunch of pampered primadonnas I don’t even know sounds like some sort of torture technique.
“You sound so thrilled,” Grayson comments dryly.
“I’m ecstatic,” I retort, just as dry. I see asshole Grayson is out to play, or Mr. Hyde. Whatever, he’s being a major douche and I’m going to find out why. “What crawled up your butt?" I ask forwardly.
“Excuse me,” he replies, arching his brow.
“You’re being a dick. What’s up with you?”
“I’m not being a dick. I barely said anything to you.”
“Exactly. You love giving the silent treatment when you’re being a dick so spit it out. What’s up with you?”
“I’m perfectly fine. It’s you who's been avoiding me.”
“Is that it? Are you mad I haven’t been at your beck and call? There’s more to my job at the firm than catering to you,” I spit out.
“I’m not saying you need to cater to me. You know what, I’m not arguing with you, so if you think starting a fight to get out of this dinner is going to work, then you need to try another tactic.” I just glare at him over the table, and he glares back with as much heat as I’m spewing.
“Is that what you’re doing? Trying to leave early?” Nichole replies and I give her a guilty look. It may not have started that way, but I really didn’t want to be here. “You barely even touched your food,” she says, pointing her fork at my full plate.
“I’m not really hungry,” I reply honestly, avoiding the topic of leaving early.
“Are you well? I hope you’re not coming down with something. There has been this nastly flu going around,” Nichole says.
“I’m fine. I don’t think this kid likes rich foods.” It may be true. Although normally, I would be devouring a full lobster, but not today.
“Oh. I could see if the cook can make you something else,” Nichole offers and I immediately start shaking my head.
“I don’t want anyone to go to any trouble over me. Maybe I should leave and lie down.”
Nichole doesn’t like it but she nods her head. If I wasn’t going to eat, there was no point in me sitting here, pretending I’m interested in hearing about baby showers and her country club, nor do I want to stay in the pathway of Grayson’s ire. If I stay here any longer, I know I will bring up what Nichole said in the car and that’s one explosion I do not want to be a spectator for. As quickly as I can, I gather my things and leave. On the way home, I stop at the convenience store and buy a couple quarts of ice cream. I could eat those when I have my midnight cravings.