15
KIM
I’ve never driven down to Nassakth’s farm, even though I know it’s not far from my own. I expected it to be a small and unimpressive as my own plot of land.
Ha.
Ha ha.
The universe is determined to show me what a dumbass I am.
The best word to describe it is “palatial.” There’s a massive house made from natural stone, with tons of windows. Large, leafy trees line the road and encircle the house, the largest greenery I’ve seen since landing on this planet. His fields are flat and perfectly tilled, with crop-tending drones moving over one row after another. He’s growing something different from me, the plants green and tall and strong, similar to corn but with bluish pods instead of yellow cobs. The next field over, there’s fat meat-stock animals wandering lush green fields, and it looks like a picture-perfect paradise.
I’m…jealous.
And even more baffled than I was before. Why did he agree to a platonic relationship with me? He’s not getting anything out of this. I eye Nassakth warily. Either he doesn’t think we’re going to be all that platonic, or there’s some other motive here.
He parks the air-sled, frowning a little when the engine rattles before it turns off, and then looks over at me. “Would you like to see my house?”
I gesture at it. “You mean this palace?”
Nassakth chuckles, smoothing one of the tufts on his cheek. “It is perhaps a little more ostentatious than it should be. Even an old fighter has vanity that must sometimes be appeased.”
“You keep saying you’re old. How old are you?” It’s awfully hard for me to tell given that he looks like a cross between a human and a cat and most of him is covered in gray fur. Is he super decrepit and expecting to die soon? Is that why he married me?
“A praxiian’s lifespan is similar to humans, I believe. I am forty-five. Not so terrible in general, but ancient for a gladiator.” He smiles, showing bright white canines. “Is that too old for you?”
“I don’t see how, considering we married just to be friends.” I emphasize the last word, watching him.
Nassakth sighs and glances at his house, as if he doesn’t want to meet my gaze. “I should confess something to you before we go much further, Kim.”
“I knew it!” I reach over and slap his arm, furious. “You’re going to kill me and steal my land, aren’t you?” I slap at him again, wishing I had a weapon. “You monster!”
He grabs my hand, holding my wrist, and his brows furrow together, his ears flattening. “What? Why would I want your land? It’s the worst homestead on this entire keffing planet and it’s covered in a drug I have no wish to ever see again.”
I struggle in his grasp. “Then why—”
“Because I like you!” he roars. “How many times must I tell you that?”
I freeze. He lets go of my hands and I retreat back to my side of the air-sled, rubbing my wrists. For all that he grabbed me, his touch was gentle and warm, and I’m not sure what to think about that. “I guess you need to tell me that at least one more time for it to sink in.”
He snorts, either amused or exasperated. Or both. “I was going to tell you that I have agreed to a marriage in name only, but my heart-feelings for you have never changed, and I wished to be clear.” Nassakth glances over at me again, watching me with those strangely intense cat eyes. “I am content to be your friend for as long as you need, but I will also not deny that I hope that in time we will become something more.” He shakes his head. “Now I am wondering if that is a foolish hope, seeing as how you think I am bringing you here to bury you in my backyard.”
The big praxiian sounds so sad I almost feel guilty. Almost. I’ve been through too much in the last few years to apologize for my actions, though. “You have to look at it from my point of view. Everyone I have met for the last five years has tried to take my money, enslave me, rape me, or steal my land. If I don’t trust you, it’s because you haven’t earned my trust yet. I have to be cautious. And let’s be honest, up until yesterday, you were just the scary guy that lurked around my farm and jizzed on my doorstep. It’s hard for me to stop and process that as a ‘friendly’ action because in my world, that’s a declaration that you want to do terrible things to me.”
Nassakth grunts. “It will take time for both of us to understand one another, but this is a good start. We must talk through questions before assuming the worst.”
“Easy for you to say when you hold all the power,” I tell him lightly. “I’m the vulnerable party here.”
“You are,” he agrees. “We can change that. Would you like a weapon?”
“Like a gun?” When he nods, I’m utterly astonished—and a little excited. “Really?”
“Really. I want you to be safe, even if you feel you must be safe from me.” He runs a hand over the controls of the air-sled. “And unlike the fools that gave you this piece of junk, I will even show you how to use your gun.”
“Thank you,” I whisper. This might be the kindest thing anyone’s done for me yet.
He nods. “Also, you are wise not to trust anyone. You are right that most of the people here on this planet are out for themselves—even Bethiah. Especially Bethiah,” he amends. “But I hope that being mated to me will keep you safer.”
“Because you’re going to show me how to use a gun?”
His eyes seem to glitter as he looks at me. “Because I would rip the throat out of any male that tried to take advantage of my mate and drink his blood with fierce joy.”
I shiver. “Or that.”
Nassakth clears his throat and then gets out of the sled. He moves to my side and opens the door, then holds his hand out for me to take. “Come. I will show you our home.”
Our home. I’m not sure if that’s exciting or terrifying. Everything’s changing so quickly. I gaze down at his big, intimidating hand. You have to trust someone at some point, right? So I put my hand in his and let him lead the way.
16
KIM
The interior of Nassakth’s house is as impressive as the exterior. I expect it to be cold and austere like a lot of the places in port, but the walls are a pale stucco embedded with a lot of windows that makes everything feel warm and inviting and full of light. The floor is a light colored tile, and everywhere I look, there are bright green plants in pots and crawling over planters. Vines trail along nooks near the ceiling, and frame an archway that leads to a living area.
I glance over at Nassakth. “You like plants?”
“Love them, actually.” He clasps his hands behind his back and rocks on his heels. “When I was a gladiator, we were kept in very spare cages with dirt floors. I remember one of the first rewards I received from winning a match. My owner was given a very showy plant and a ribbon, and he gave the plant to me because he thought it smelled bad. I kept it for many years until it died, giving it a portion of my water rations, and it was the only greenery I saw. I told myself if I ever got free, I would surround myself with living things so I would see them everywhere I turned.”