“I guess.”
Daniel finished his chocolate and turned back to Eli. “I’m happy to stay in here. Up to you.” Daniel watched as Eli’s fingers became white-knuckled on the mug, and his heart sank. He clearly didn’t trust him, and Daniel didn’t blame him.
“You shouldn’t have to.”
Which isn’t saying no. “Did you sleep better with me in here last night?”
Eli nodded. Daniel got up, went to the bathroom, and then pulled the door a little more closed so it wasn’t as bright in the room, but there was still a light.
Eli had shuffled down when Daniel came back, so he simply got in and closed his eyes.
Daniel had to figure out where he was for a few seconds when he woke, because he definitely wasn’t alone, and the person with him seemed to be using Daniel as a pillow.
Eli.
His body hadn’t objected though, because Daniel was lying on his back, Eli had his head on Daniel’s shoulder, and Daniel’s arm was wrapped around him. One hand was tucked under his chin, and the other was thrown across Daniel’s chest. Daniel gazed down at Eli and held his breath. His lip was healed, and there was a pinkish mark where along his jawline he was convinced would be purple today, but then he knew the enhanced healed faster. Then Eli moved and blinked open his gorgeous brown eyes.
Daniel held his breath. For a second he expected the same panicked reaction he’d had in the store, but Eli simply froze.
“Did you get some sleep?” Daniel tried for calm. A nothing to see here kind of vibe. It was still way too early to get up.
Eli simply stared and Daniel forced himself to breathe; then Eli dropped his gaze, moved his hand cautiously from Daniel’s chest, and started to retreat. Without thinking, Daniel tightened his hold. The instant Eli felt Daniel’s arm tighten, his eyes shot up to Daniel’s.
Daniel let a beat of silence pass and then decided to go with the same honesty that had worked last night, relaxing his arm. Prevarication, lying of any sort, would ruin any chance they ever had of being friends. “Sorry. I promise you are one hundred percent safe with me. Just because I might find you attractive in no way means I would act on it.”
Eli stared at Daniel for what seemed the longest few seconds of his entire life. Daniel wasn’t sure what Eli hoped to see, but he kept his gaze as open and honest as he could.
“What if I wanted you to?”
For a moment Daniel thought he had imagined the whispered words, and Eli flushed, lowering his gaze. Daniel guessed Eli hadn’t meant to say them. Then Eli rolled away, and Daniel held himself very still.
Because he did want to. He wanted to very much.
Chapter Thirteen
Eli heard the insistent buzzing and reached for his phone as he felt Daniel move. “What is it?” Daniel asked.
“I don’t know.” He stared at the blank screen. Then the buzzing sound came again, and Daniel groaned.
“It’s the door.” He sat up. “What time is it?”
“Seven fifteen.” Eli’s heart was hammering in his chest. He couldn’t believe he had thought the words that had slipped out last night, but then actually saying them? And to Daniel? He could feel his skin burning and didn’t dare look at him.
Daniel groaned and got out of bed, padding into the hall. “I turned the alarm off. Hello?” Eli knew he was on the intercom.
He heard a voice but wasn’t sure who it was. “You sent me enough food for an army, Mom. There’s only two of us.”
Eli nearly groaned out loud. It was Connie. He heard Daniel say something else, and then he came back in the bedroom. “You’d better get some clothes on. Mom’s on her way up. Vance dropped her off so she could get her car.”
Eli scrambled up so fast his legs nearly got caught in the sheet.
“My fault. I should have asked her later, but—” Daniel shrugged and went to his own bedroom to grab clothes. Eli had a second to realize Daniel only had his boxer shorts on before he shot up to drag some clothes on. Connie? Damn. He practically ran into his bathroom and brushed his teeth as fast as he could. He was just dragging on jeans as he heard Daniel open the apartment door and voices. He wanted nothing more than to stay in his room, but he didn’t trust Connie not to come and find him. He took one last look at the baggy jeans and T-shirt and slunk out.
“Eli.” Connie beamed. “How lovely to see you.” She put a bag down that looked big enough to make Eli worry she was moving in and reached out a hand.
It was a first.
Connie had maybe patted him on the shoulder—twice—in twelve months. She knew he didn’t even do casual touches, never mind deliberate ones. He glanced down at her extended hand for a second before clasping it and getting a squeeze in reply. Warmth, humor. “Cookies.” Eli glanced down at his hand for a minute, then looked up when everyone seemed to go silent.
“Goodness,” Connie chuckled. “I baked them yesterday, and I know I had a shower this morning,” she teased. “Is this an ability, or are you exactly like every other man in my family and know telepathically when they come out of the oven?”
Daniel grinned and hugged his mom. “This was why I really left Washington. I missed her cooking too much.” Daniel hummed like it was the best thing ever. Eli looked at the way Connie was smiling up at Daniel, and the way Daniel hugged her close…
He couldn’t. Muttering something incomprehensible, he charged to his room. He couldn’t. Forcing his eyes open because he couldn’t risk them being closed for what he might see, he gasped for breath.
“Eli?”
Eli jerked and backed away. He couldn’t. “I—”
“My darling boy,” Connie murmured, coming into his room. “Sweetheart, what is it? Do you want me to leave?” He glanced at her. How did he start? This wasn’t even his home. He hadn’t had a home for sixteen god-awful years. He took a breath to tell her he would go, that this was her son’s house, that it wasn’t her fault, none of it was her fault, but all that came out was a sob, and before he knew it he was sitting on the bed crying ugly tears with soft arms hugging the life out of him, and smelling of his mom.
“Daniel?” he blurted out panicked between tears and snot and never ever wanting to let go.
“Shh, Eli. It’s okay. I sent Daniel downstairs so he could get his things from my car. He doesn’t need to know any of this.”
And she rocked him. Honest to goodness held him tight and rocked him. He didn’t know whether to crawl inside her or to just wish…to wish she were his. Which was so very wrong, disloyal. He was a shit for even thinking it.
Connie was murmuring words as she held him. “I always tell my boys I’m not their mom. They have a mom. I’m their stand-in, and that’s allowed. I can be their mom for as long as they need me to be because sometimes that’s what we both need. Whether it’s a week, a month, or years.”
How had she known? How on earth had she known that Eli had been fighting this ever since they had met? Torn between the need and the memory. Convinced he was disloyal but wanting her arms around him with every breath he took until it hurt.
“Tell me about your mom.”