I snorted and he pulled back a little to look me in the eyes. “I guess you don’t know it either.” His voice was musing and I looked away because he didn’t know. I wasn’t precious or beautiful or whatever else he thought I was. I was damaged, messed-up and so fucking broken. I pulled away from him but he held my hands in his until I looked up at him. “You are beautiful, Luke and I’m going to make you realize that someday.” I had half a mind to show him all my scars and prove him wrong, but I’d just found him and I wasn’t going to do anything that could make me lose this friendship.
I pulled at my hands and this time, he let me go. I quickly grabbed the dishes and carried them to the sink for something to do. “Don’t you need to get ready for work?” I said, suddenly feeling awkward.
“Oh, no. Mike gave me a day off because I worked overtime all of last week.” Something made me suspect that wasn’t the reason—or the only reason—he had a day off but I didn’t comment on it because a part of me was pleased that he cared about me so much.
“I have a day off, too. Though my mom’s gonna visit this evening. I hope that’s okay with you?” Scott was back to leaning against the doorway as I cleaned up, and it made me smile as I wiped the counter-top.
“Of course! I’d love to meet the infamous Mama D.”
I grinned at his words and looked up at him, “She’s an awesome woman. We all lucked out when she found us.”
“We?”
“Yeah. Me, Angie and all the hundreds of kids she has adopted over time.” I chuckled as Scott’s eyes widened and he squeaked out, “Hundreds?”
“Do you know the name Delilah Sparks?”
“Of course. The woman who runs the Voice Out NGO and the magazine you work for, right?” Scott’s voice told me he hadn’t guessed it yet, so I waited for a beat before nodding.
“That’s our Mama D.”
“Oh.” Scott’s mouth stayed open in surprise for a few beats before he closed it. “Damn, I’ve seen some of her speeches and events. She’s a fucking hurricane.”
I grinned as I finished loading the dishwasher and washed my hands. “Yep. She’s bringing me her homemade ice cream too. It’s better than my cookies.”
Scott’s eyes took a faraway look and I was almost surprised when no drool dripped out of his slightly open mouth. He shook his head before looking at me and focusing his puppy dog stare on me, “You’ll share with your new best friend, won’t you?”
“Hey, now. I agreed to friends. Best friends is pushing it,” I warned him even as I grinned. I sighed happily as we headed into the living room, grabbing our copies of Harry Potter without even having to discuss reading it.
Mama D arrived later that evening and I wasn't surprised to see Angie with her, knowing Mama D must've asked her to tag along in case I needed someone to talk to. I knew usually I would’ve been in a much worse state after last night, but spending the day with Scott reading my favorite book had helped me ground myself so much and I was almost back to normal by the time they arrived.
“Hey, Ma,” I said as I hugged her, giving her a smile so she’d know I was okay.
“Hey, Angie, come on in.” I gave her a fist bump because she was too cool for a hug. Her words, not mine.
I led them to the living room where Scott was waiting. He looked kinda nervous and that confused me for a moment before I shook it off. He’d said he was a fan of Mama D’s, so I guessed that was the reason he looked so weird.
“Ma, this is Scott, my roommate. Scott, this gorgeous woman is our mother.”
“Hello, ma’am. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Scott extended his hand for a handshake, a mistake I’d made the first time I met her, too. One I’d realized when she’d pulled me in a warm hug like she did with Scott now.
“Psh. You call me Mama D or Ma. That’s all the options you get.” She ordered, the Spanish lilt in her voice showing through for a second. With her petite form, black curls, warm brown skin and dark eyes, Mama D gave off a motherly vibe that you could sense from a mile away. There was no way a person could hug her and not feel like they were being hugged by their mother, which was what made every single kid at the NGO look up to her with awe and love, me included.
I left them to talk in the living room and went back to the kitchen to get the table set. I had ended up ordering Chinese for everyone since I hadn’t been in the mood to cook dinner. I grabbed the bowls from the oven where I’d kept the food so it’d stay warm and set them on the dining table just as Angie walked into the kitchen with a Tupperware container in her hand. “Oh god, gimme!” I grabbed the container and stuck it in the freezer so the ice cream would be ready to eat after dinner.
“You look good.” Angie commented and I gave her a small smile. “I feel good. Better than I expected to, after last night, but I do.”
“What happened? Did Scott…?”
I rolled my eyes at her before replying, “As if I’d still be here if that were the case. Scott’s a good guy, Angie. He really is. Last night, he was doing a favor to a friend of a friend, lending our couch to him for the night. He asked me if I was okay with it and I was stupid enough to say yes. He asked me twice, you know. I think he understands that I don’t do well with strangers and he gave me a choice and I picked wrong. Anyway, the guy tried to…well, he touched me when I was trying to make tea after a nightmare and I freaked out. Pulled a knife on him...I think. After that, it’s a blur but Scott found me in the kitchen. He made me tea and took care of me and since that’s something my system doesn’t understand, I let my anxiety take over and said some hurtful things to him. Asked him what he wanted from me and shit.” I shook my head at my own stupidity. I was glad he understood I hadn’t meant it, that he’d seen the truth in my eyes even when I couldn’t say it.
“You care about him, don’t you?”
“Of course, I do. He’s a nice guy and my gut says to trust him. We’ve been hanging out recently and he’s a lot of fun.”
Angie gave me a knowing look that I understood all too well as she leaned her hip against the counter, focusing her gaze on me.
“I do not have a crush on him.” I hissed, surprised she even thought I could. I cared about Scott a lot, yes, and if I could date someone, would I want it to be someone like him? Yes. But the fact of the matter was, I couldn’t date anyone. Not now and maybe not ever. And that was that.
“Never said you do.” Angie said with a chuckle, and I knew she didn’t believe me. Angie was a stubborn woman and once she made up her mind about something, it was impossible to change her opinion.
“Even if I did, it’s not like anything could ever happen.”
“And why’s that?”
I gave her a look that told her she was crazy for even asking such a stupid question, “I can’t date, Angie. Not Scott or anyone. Because dating leads to things I don’t think I’d ever be comfortable with. And who would even want a fuck-up like me anyway.”
Angie shook her head and gave me a soft, sad look that I’d never seen on her face before. It transformed her goth face into something much more human. “Take it slow, Lu. We’re all fucked-up in one way or other, but that doesn’t mean we can’t find happiness one day.” Who was this woman and what had she done to my friend?