I laugh loudly at that. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
“They’ve never come face to face with true Georgia stubbornness,” she says as we pull into the parking lot of the hardware store.
“I don’t know,” I say. “New Yorkers are kind of known for their immovable personalities.”
Seph steps out of the car. “Try me.”
“I believe you,” I say, grinning.
Why can’t it always be like this? This kind of thing between us is sweet and easy, and it’s always been this way. We’ve never had trouble talking.
Thankfully the part I need isn’t hard to find in the store. Generators are commonplace out here. It only takes a few minutes, and that’s good. Things are hot enough as it is, I don’t want the kitchen staff to be out of power for too long.
Heading back out to the car, I glance at the sky. The clouds are darkening, and I bet that the rain is coming soon.
This little hardware store is on the outskirts of the little town, and other than the clerk inside the store, there are no other cars, and no other people in sight. Sometimes it’s shocking to remember how truly isolated we are out here.
Seph is leaning against the car, looking at me, and she has a bright little package in her hands. I stop in my tracks. Starbursts. She remembers the Starbursts. “Where did you get those?”
She points to a vending machine on the outside of the building. “Thought it might be a little peace offering.”
My soul sags in relief. “I’ll take it.”
She hands me a red one, and she takes a pink one, and we chew them together, and I don’t look away from her eyes. The space between us feels tight, and we reach for each other at the same time. Our mouths crash together, tasting of fruit and sugar, and I devour her. She devours me too. It’s desperate and angry and sad and a thousand things at once. It’s so good to touch her, but at the same time…
“Seph, what does this mean?”
Her voice shakes. “I don’t know.”
“We can do this.” I make the promise to her.
There are tears in her eyes again. “We really can’t, Eric.”
“I know you love her,” I say, taking Seph’s face in my hands. “But I don’t. Leena and I have been over a long time. She doesn’t have to come between us anymore.”
She licks her lips. “I—I’d like to know what happened between the two of you. I don’t think I have the full story.”
I nod. “I’ll tell you everything.”
Thunder cracks across the sky. “Later?” she asks.
“Later,” I agree.
Ideally, I would like to get the generator up and running again before the rain falls. I can do it, but it will be trickier when it’s wet. And this is a summer rain in Georgia. Which means it’s likely to be a downpour.
We both jump in the car and Seph starts to drive. She’s lived here all her life. She understands what a thunderstorm like this means.
My phone buzzes, and I pull it out, expecting it to be one of the counselors checking in about our progress, but it’s not. My body goes cold. I don’t know if the woman is psychic, or if the universe really just does have a death wish for me today, but my body goes cold. The text on my phone is from Leena.
I haven’t heard from her since the day I put a true, final end to our relationship a year and a half ago. I made it clear that we were done. No more random hookups when we were bored and in the same town. No more ‘giving it another try,’ which I never really wanted. Nothing.
What could she possibly want?
I doubt that Seph told her about us, given how torn up about it she is in the first place, but she could have mentioned that I was here. I steel myself and open the message.
I hear you’re fooling around with somebody else. That’s a big mistake you’re making.
I roll my eyes. The last time I checked, a break-up is a break-up, Leena. I thought I made it clear that we were finished with each other.
Oh sweetie, she says. You’ll never be done with me. I’ll always be the best you’ve ever had, and I know that you’ll be back.
Attached to the text message is a picture. Leena, in lingerie. She’s posed lewdly, looking at the camera like she wants to fuck it. Leena is a beautiful woman, but the picture does nothing for me. The only person I want is the one sitting next to me.
The one who looks over and sees the picture of her best friend in lingerie on my phone right after I kissed her. Thunder cracks overhead and the sky opens up, pouring rain down on top of us.
Seph swerves the car in shock, and then pulls over. She gets out of the car into the pouring rain, and I dump my phone on the seat and follow her. My clothes are soaked through instantly. Her face when she turns to me doesn’t seem angry, it’s devastated. “You really have some balls, texting her in front of me.”
“I didn’t ask for that photo. I haven’t heard from Leena in forever. Did you tell her that I was here?”
“I did, but only so I could mention you by name without walking on eggshells. I didn’t tell her anything else. And this is why it won’t work, Eric. This will keep happening. Little reminders. Death by a thousand cuts.”
And just like that, I can’t keep quiet anymore. “Fucking hell, Persephone. I don’t know how I can say it any more clearly. I want you. I don’t want Leena. I don’t want anyone else. I want you. I’ve only ever wanted you.
“Never in my life have I wanted anyone but you. You were the one who pushed me away. And it was devastating.”
“What are you talking about?” she yells over the rain. “You. Picked. Her.”
I storm through the water and grab her, pulling her close and kissing her hard enough that I know that she’ll never forget it.
“I’m going to tell you what happened,” I say. “And I need you to listen. Not all of it is going to be easy to listen to, but you have to hear it, Seph. Because it’s the only thing that’s going to get us through this. And I want us to get through this. Because I am so fucking in love with you and I’m not letting you go again.”
I kiss her again to quiet any protest she has, and then I begin to speak.
23
Eric
Six Years Ago
It’s been twenty days since I left Seph sleeping in that camper, and I’ve thought of nothing but her. Her phone number is tucked into my wallet so I can use it tomorrow, but walking into my new high school, I’m hoping that I won’t have to use it.
This is Seph’s school. It has an amazing music program, and when camp ended, I wasn’t sure if I had made it into the program. I didn’t want to disappoint her or give her false hope. But I’m here now, and I can’t wait to find her. I want to see her face when I tell her that I’m going to be here every day, and yes, I still want to be with her. Yes, I’m still in love with her. That I’ve been in love with her the entire time and this is the time to really tell her.
But right now, I’m nearly late for my first class. I’m looking at the map that the office gave me while simultaneously at the students I pass for the girl who’s face haunts my dreams. This is a much bigger school than the one I’m coming from, and it’s probably going to take me a bit with the navigation.