She looks up at me, eyes shining. “I think you’ re going to be really great too.”
I laugh. "I'm not sure what he was thinking. It's not like my audition was very good, and really not good enough for a part that big."
"Well, if it helps," she says, "Mr. Darcy is supposed to be a bit awkward. He's uncomfortable in almost all the social situations in the story."
"So you're calling me awkward?" I say, but I'm smiling.
"Don't worry," Amber says, picking up the pen hanging next to the cast list and initialing by her name. "You're a Drama Club kid now. We'll train it right out of you."
She hands the pen to me, and I take it. I spend one last second questioning whether this is a good idea, before initialing the letters PH next to my printed name. "What we do now?"
"Show up to rehearsal," she says. "Get used to it. Rehearsal is basically going to be your life now."
I roll my eyes. "I'm going to be one of those people?"
"You're going to be one of those people," she confirms.
"Okay. But seriously, let me apologize in advance for how bad I'm going to make you look."
Amber starts walking down the hallway and she looks over her shoulder at me. "You think I would've dragged my ass out into the snow to get you if I thought you'd make me look bad? Not a chance."
And then she's gone.
I look at the cast list again, scanning down the list of names. What on earth did I just get myself into?
5
Peter
Present
“Cut!”
I looked up as Amber shouts the word across the set. It's the very first scene we filmed, and so far, everything is great. Everyone feels comfortable, everybody knows their lines, and Amber has a vision that makes it easy to act. The same way that she helped me in high school, her notes about character and motivation are spot on. It's only been a couple of hours, but I can already tell that this is going to be awesome.
"Okay everyone, let's get set for sequence three. Actors, be back in an hour and we’ll rehearse the scene."
It’s amazing to me how the vibe of this set is so different from my last show. Right from the start, this cast and crew seem to be in synch. I guess that’s what you get with a kick-ass director like Amber. Speaking of Amber, I see her go toward the craft services table, refilling her coffee. I approach her slowly. I don't want to startle her, but I want to know how she's actually feeling about us reuniting, especially now that Michael isn’t around to be the third wheel.
"Amber," I say.
"Peter."
“So, how are you?"
She finishes pouring her coffee into her cup and turns to me. "I've been well, and clearly so have you. Looks like we both managed pretty well over the years."
There’s still little to no expression on her face, and I study her, trying to figure out what she's thinking. "I was surprised to see you here, but I can't say that I'm not glad."
She smiles, but it's thin. It doesn't reach her eyes, and I know that it's not real. I've seen enough real Amber Dwyer smiles to be able to tell the difference. "That's really nice to hear," she says. "I think we’ll be able to do some good work together. If you have any other questions about your character, feel free to let me know.”
“I will,” I say. “I think there’s a lot to dig into, and I’m excited to film the more emotional scenes. I don’t want Alex to just be another cookie-cutter cop. The script is amazing.”
“That’s great,” she says. Her eyes are looking behind me, observing the things that are happening on the set. The hand that's not holding the coffee cup is tapping on the table, and I notice her shifting her weight from foot to foot , like she wants to move. She's trying to get away from me, to extricate herself from the situation.
Cold runs down my spine. She seemed warm enough when she was talking with Michael and me, but now that we’re alone, it's all gone. If that's the case, then she clearly hasn't forgiven me for everything that happened. I was hoping that it had been long enough that she would've forgotten, or let it go. I don't want that to be the thing that ruins our relationship for a second time. "Amber," I say. "I—" She isn't looking at me, and that's not a good sign. Even when we fought, there was never a time when Amber wouldn't look at me. If I want to have any kind of shot with her, I can't push. Not now.
Amber is the strongest person I know, and no amount of convincing will make her change her mind when she's mad about something. I can only show her that I'm sorry, and that I still want her. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm really happy to see you again."
She looks at me now, but it's not a friendly look. She's glaring at me with all the power that she has. "And I just want to tell you this, and I want it to be crystal clear. I know I wasn't the original director, but I'm here to do my job. And only that. I intend to do good work because this is just as big an opportunity for me as it is for you. I'm not here to rebuild things that are broken, or to do anything that's going to risk my career. Especially because of you."
I manage to control my expression so that my jaw doesn't drop on the floor. "Because of me?" I grin. "I didn’t realize I could still affect you like that, after so many years.”
A blush stains her cheeks, not unlike the one she had the day we first met. I don't miss the way her eyes flickered on my mouth and back. “You're not affecting me," she says hotly.
That only makes me smile more. "I never stopped thinking about you, Amber."
Her flush is deep now. "Well you should have."
“Why? If you're this bothered by seeing me again, then clearly you didn't stop thinking about me either.”
Amber reaches for a scone that's on a plate near the back of the table, but they’re piled precariously, and she knocks them onto the floor. Sighing in frustration, she walks around the table. "Why would I be thinking about you? I have no reason to think about you. I think everything was pretty effectively wrapped up ten years ago.”
I move around the table with her, and when she bends down to pick up the scone, I move with her so the table hides us both. I catch her wrist before she can reach the pastry, keeping her close, and allowing us one small private moment. "What are you doing?" she asks, tugging her wrist, but I don't let go.
"Amber, I'm sorry about what happened. I never meant to hurt you that way, and I regret it. I wasn't lying when I said I never stopped thinking about you, and I want you back. No matter what it takes, even if you hate me, I plan to show you that I'm not who you think I am.
"We are going to make an amazing TV show together, and when we're on set I will be nothing but professional. But when we're not working, I'm going to do everything in my power to make you fall in love with me again."
Amber stares at me for a second, a shocked expression on her face. Her eyes flickered to my lips again, and I wonder what she's thinking about. Which of our kisses is she remembering? She shakes her head, like she's coming out of a memory, and pulls her hand forcefully out of mine. "I was never in love with you," she says.