“It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the other person. That person is damaged.”
She drops her head and looks down at her hands. “So am I.”
She whispers the statement without looking at me. I slip my hand beneath her chin and raise her face so that she has to look at me. My heart fucking breaks. Tears are rolling down her cheeks, but it’s the expression in her beautiful eyes that just kills me. She’s breaking right here, showing me just how vulnerable she is. In all the years I have known her, I have never been privy to this version of Nancy. She’s letting me in.
“You are not the same. Your damage…or what you think is damaged…didn’t bring you down. You don’t blame other people. Instead, you rise above it and you shine. You outshine everyone around you, Nancy Howard, and don’t you forget it.”
She leans forward, cupping my face in her hands, and brushes her mouth over mine. “Thank you.”
I wrap my arms around her. “I would do anything for you, Nancy.”
“Help me forget.”
I lift her off the counter and into my arms as she wraps her legs around my waist. I carry her into the bedroom. We tumble onto the bed, the towels falling away as I do what she asked of me. With my hands, my mouth, I push her up and over the edge. Moments later, as I thrust hard into her, I join her in pleasure.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Nancy
As I sit at the desk in my cramped office, I try to come to terms with my life at the moment. Ten long days, and there has been no sign of the stalker. My detail showed up the morning after the break-in. All of them are the strong, silent types, but it only took me a few days to pry personal details from them. I know that they are usually trained to keep their distance, but I just can’t live with these men around me 24/7 without acknowledging them. It helps that Becca charmed all of them with her smile and another pound cake. That woman could probably charm the Buckingham guards into smiling.
Jon made sure to upgrade my security system, along with giving me crap about using an easily hacked code. I didn’t think anyone would guess that it was Syd’s birthday. Before that it had been Travis’ and then before that the date our show first aired. But I apologized and then gave him a big hug—which he pretended not to like. It will probably be another year before I see him again.
Word spread around town about the new security detail, but thankfully, it has somehow been kept out of the tabloids. I don’t know how, maybe Grady had something to do with it, but the only blip there were two stories. One about the rumors I’m leaving the show, and the other one from the Amarillo skank who said Travis dumped her. I never understand when people do that. Maybe they think it will help them gain some sympathy but doing it at the expense of their pride just seems silly. My family has spent time in the tabloids, and during my parents’ messy divorce, they leaked all kinds of stories. I didn’t see them at the time, because my grandmother did everything she could to protect me from them. But they’re all online now, and I did search with Syd one drunken night in college. My family might have money, but they are trashier than any of those housewives. It wasn’t pretty.
But in the present, I have to deal with the fallout. The first story about me leaving the show, though, that one has me worried. We still haven’t talked about the show, and any time I even hint at discussing it, Travis refuses. He says we need to worry about the stalker, and that’s true. Although, worrying about the stalker has done nothing. Josh did talk to Reggie again, but he has alibis. Josh is checking out his money though, seeing if anything went out to hire muscle to pull this shit. Why anyone would think that would make me want to get married to a low life like that, I have no idea. But Reggie isn’t smart and only got into college thanks to his father’s money. Still, I want to know who leaked it. I know it wasn’t Syd, but it has to be someone with the network or involved with the show.
The idea that someone I worked with, people I trust and care about, would leak that information hurts me more than any stalker could. My agent has been MIA also—well to an extent. Let me be honest here, I wouldn’t usually notice. One of the things I think Marty likes about me is that I’m not as needy as some of his other clients. At times, he gets irritated with how little I do contact him. But I thought for sure I would have heard from him by now. I’ve left two messages in the last week. Maybe he’s not happy that I want to talk about renegotiating my contract with At Home. I have no idea. Granted, I haven’t made my decision. I just wanted to see what he thought and what I could expect if I went back to them.
I could ask Syd, but I don’t want to put her in the middle. Not right now. It’s hard enough being involved with Travis and not really being able to go to her and talk about things. And I need my friend right now. I have a stalker, a big career decision, and I am hopelessly in love with Travis. Sadly, it’s the last one that scares me the most.
I’m not good with emotions. Not with men, hell with everyone. Syd is my best friend and I didn’t give her a choice in the matter. I knew the moment I met her that she was like me. A little broken, a little sarcastic, and a whole lot of a mess. Together, we knew we could accomplish anything. Her relationship with Grady makes me so damned happy for her, but I feel a little adrift. I know I could call on her any time, day or night, and she would drop everything. But she has other priorities right now and I really want her and Grady to work out. Also, sleeping with Travis makes everything weird. Not for Syd, who wanted to know what he was like. Yes. She asked me about sex with her brother. I think she just wanted to mess with him about it.
“Hey,” Travis says, breaking into my thoughts. I glance over and find him at the doorway, a frown marring his beautiful face. He’s freshly showered after working in my backyard. He’s landscaped it just the way I wanted it to look, and I should be grateful. And I am. But I am also irritated. Like, could he get any more perfect? Probably.
“What’s up?”
He cocks his head and studies me. “Are you okay?’
I nod. “Just zoning out. You know how I am during this time of year.”
It’s true. Late summer temps climb, and my ability to concentrate goes down.
“Okay.”
Then he stands there, as if not sure what to do. The last few days it’s been like this. There’s something lurking there beneath the surface. When we’re in bed, there’s no problem. I can’t count the number of times we’ve fucked, and you definitely don’t want to know what rooms (but that would be all of them, including my office). There’s a distance when we aren’t touching, and it has nothing to do with proximity. It bothers me that he doesn’t want to talk about the show. Why not? Is he over having me back, or is my grandmother right? Is this whole “relationship” just to get me back on the show?
“I still haven’t heard from Marty.”
Travis shifts his weight from foot to foot. “Oh?”
I nod, watching his weird reaction. “Would you know anything about that?”
He shakes his head, but he doesn’t look me in the eye, which heightens my suspicions.
“Travis.”
“I swear. I have no idea why your agent isn’t returning your phone calls. Maybe he leaked the info about you leaving the show.”