“I was driving.”
“Hmm, okay. Tell me.”
You might think this is because of the job. But it’s not. She has always been bossy, but since she has been the person protecting me most of my life, it makes sense. Plus, part of it is the job. We are the most successful show on the network now, so she does have to worry about that. I still can’t believe I’ve screwed up this bad.
“We left it open. I offered to do anything to get her back on the show. It went a long way that I was with her on getting rid of Garrett.”
“Yeah, his lawyer has contacted us.”
“Shit. Sorry about that.”
“No, it’s okay. Gavin has already looked over the contract and said we were right to fire him. You two weren’t the only ones to complain. There were a few other crew members who lodged complaints.”
“Why didn’t they come to us?”
“I don’t know. Maybe because you were being a total jerk. Also, they wanted to make sure it was formal. He was that bad.”
I don’t refute that because our crew loves both Nancy and me, but I know there were a few of them who weren’t happy with the direction of the show this season. They didn’t voice their concerns to either of us, which was odd.
“Still, they didn’t go to Nancy.”
She sighs. “As I said, they wanted to make sure it was a formal complaint. You two would take care of things and the crew knows that, but this was totally different. We can combine the complaints along with the new lawsuit.”
“Lawsuit?”
“Yeah, Vanessa Forrester is claiming emotional abuse.”
A singer and actress, Vanessa is one of the best-known names in reality TV. Two years ago, she had a breakdown and very few people have heard from her since she checked herself into the hospital. There has been no news, no word on new music or movies. She fell off the edge of the Earth practically overnight. Before that, she was always in the top five celebrities on Instagram. She isn’t any longer.
“Emotional abuse?”
She sighs. “She alleges that he not only made her life a living hell, but he assaulted her.”
A chill washes over me. “Damn.”
“Indeed. It was almost as if she was waiting for him to be fired. Within hours of the news hitting the tabloids, she filed suit.”
“Did we have any issues like that? Anyone complain about being assaulted by him?”
“No. A few women said they felt uncomfortable, but nothing this extreme. He worked with Vanessa for over four years. These kinds of guys groom their victims a lot of times. He didn’t have much clout at the network yet, even with his status, so he was probably waiting.”
My stomach aches a little at the idea that our crew didn’t trust me enough to come to me. It was bad enough that each person went to Syd but avoided me. “Does Nancy know about this?”
“Not really. I need to talk to her about it because we are going to want to have a long list of grievances when he tries to file countersuit.”
“She didn’t complain about anything like that, did she?” I would have said before this season, she probably would have told me. I hate to think that she suffered through something like that and didn’t feel she could come to me about it. I’ve failed her in more ways than one.
“No. Absolutely not. She would have told me, and she would have told you.”
I sigh. “Maybe not. I just don’t know how much I screwed this up.”
“It’s bad, but you can repair it. Being there will help.”
“I’m staying here just in case you were wondering.”
“Here?”
“Juniper.”
There is a beat of silence. “Don’t pressure her.”
“I’m not.”
“Because you know how she is. You start bothering her and she will get extremely pissed off and there go your chances.”
I haven’t had much sleep and I feel ten years older than my thirty years. Add in the stress of the last few days, and well, my temper is fraying just a little. “Jesus, Syd! I told you I gave her space. We left it open and we’ll discuss it. I just thought it better to stay in the area. I’m at the office.”
“The office? Does it even have running water?”
“Yes. The plumbing and the bathroom are the two things that are done. We even have a seamless shower.”
We had a full bath put in knowing that sometimes we might need to clean up here. At least I have that.
“And if there are any issues, I’ll find someone to stay with.”
She sighs. “Okay, just make sure you don’t bother her.”
There is murmuring in the background and I know it’s Grady.
“I want to make sure he doesn’t.” More murmuring. “Get bent, Hawthorne.”
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is my sister talking to the person she says is the love of her life.
“Listen, I have some work to do here anyway. Nancy drew up plans for the office and now I have time to work out the price for the remodel.”
“Fine, but I’m coming this weekend. And yes, Grady, you can come too.”
Ugh, that is exactly what I need. My sister and her boyfriend—this is your friendly reminder that he’s my boss—so they can witness my begging. I’m dooming myself to working with a woman I have been in love with for close to a decade, and I’m going to have to deal with my sister and Grady making googly eyes at each other.
“Where are you going to stay?”
“My BFF happens to have a couple of guest rooms.” More murmuring. “Or maybe we will just come up for the day.”
“Fine. See ya then.”
“Love you.”
“Love you.”
She reminds me again not to bother Nancy, before I finally get off the phone. I don’t know exactly what I will offer up to my cohost, but right now, I will do anything. Because it isn’t about the show. I was hurting, not wanting to deal with the fact that every minute I spend with her is equal parts heaven and hell. I want to be with her as much as I want to stay away from her. But the panic I felt when I thought she might never forgive me…that was real. And I realized one thing this morning: I would rather suffer being her friend than live without her. That would be worse somehow.
And yes, I know how insane that sounds. Right now, I’m desperate. The show would probably survive, but at what cost? And I know I wouldn’t have much fun on it without her. Nancy and I made that show. We started together as nobodies with good skills and fantastic chemistry on camera. Doing that with another woman would feel like…cheating.
With a sigh, I look around the office and decide to clear up some of the mess. It was a disaster when I bought it. I’ve fixed all the structural issues, but there’s still items that need to be organized. We picked out paint, which is all stacked haphazardly, and Nancy had lighting fixtures delivered at some point.
I study them, all of them boxed up, but I can remember the day she talked about them, excitement in her voice, her blue eyes dancing with happiness. I smile at the memory, but it fades pretty quickly. If she doesn’t come back, I’m going to be forced to see the lights every day and think of her. I lift my hand to rub away the pain that hits me square in the chest.