I knew he would be supportive. “I’ll pick you up.”
I grabbed my baseball cap and put it on before getting all the paperwork I might need. This was probably something I should do with Jake since he was a mechanic and all, but I thought I might burst out of my skin if I didn’t do it today! Or change my mind. Which was ridiculous.
Jesse was waiting for me outside his apartment when I pulled up. He jogged over and jumped into the passenger seat. “Dane says hi, and I say tell me what the fuck is going on. Stat.”
I wanted to, God, I wanted to tell him so badly. Jesse had told me so many sex stories, and I’d soaked them in, wanted more, but this with Jake was different. No one knew he was bi, and I didn’t know if he wanted to come out, and—
“Holy fuck. You’re blushing. What in the hell did I miss? Did you and Jake…”
“What?” I asked as I pulled away. “What makes you think this has anything to do with Jake?”
“Because I know you? And he looks at you like he wants to jump your bones?”
I laughed. I wanted to jump his too. “I can’t. Not yet.” I had to respect Jake’s privacy, but God, I wanted to blurt out everything we’d done the night before.
“Sure. I can respect that, but whatever is happening, don’t ever let anyone keep you a secret if you don’t want to be a secret, okay? That’s all I’ll say. You deserve the world, Seth, and there were so many times I wished I could have been the one to give it to you. We both know that wouldn’t have worked, so yeah, you deserve the world, and don’t ever accept anything less.” He reached over and put his hand on my thigh. My eyes felt slightly misty.
“If there was a guy…and I’m not saying there is…he wouldn’t be the type to hurt me like that. Even if we were a secret for a while, it wouldn’t be for the reasons you think. He would be the sweetest guy I’d ever met and just want me to be happy.” That was Jake.
“Wait. So it’s me?” Jesse teased.
“Oh, shut up.” Then, “I love you,” because I did. I was so thankful I had Jesse in my life.
“I love you too. I totally can’t wait to double-date with you and Jake!”
“Oh my God! Shut up!” And we both laughed.
At the car dealership, I traded in my vehicle and bought myself a yellow Mini Cooper.
I felt like I could fly.
20
Jake
It was Sunday, the auto shop was closed, and I was with Tucker, helping move some shit out of his parents’ basement to the front lawn for trash. His dad had a heart condition, which was one of the reasons he’d asked Tucker to take over the business a couple of years ago. He and his family had always been there for me, so it was a no-brainer that I would help with a project like this, as tedious as it was, when Tucker needed an extra pair of hands.
After I’d caught up with his dad, and his mom stuffed us with the cookies she’d baked—just like old times—we headed downstairs and started going through boxes essentially filled with outdated appliances and junk. The good thing about my smaller house was that I didn’t acquire many things, but what the hell did I know; this was a whole lifetime of stuff. I might be in a similar position someday.
When my cell buzzed in my pocket, I pulled it out to read a text from Seth. I hadn’t seen him since Friday night when he’d slept over, which had been… I didn’t even know how to describe it. Fucking incredible? Deeply satisfying in a way hookups over the years had never been? Yeah, that. Not that I was ever looking to spend time with someone like that; it simply happened. My skin heated just thinking about it. I was trying to take it slow for both our sakes, but damn, I couldn’t wait to see him again.
BTW, I have a surprise to show you.
What is it?
If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise.
I grinned at my phone and typed, Suppose it wouldn’t.
I’ll show you the surprise next time I see you.
I’m at Tucker’s parents’ place, helping with a project. Let’s make a plan soon?
It’s a deal.
When I slid my cell back in my pocket, I found Tucker staring at me the same way he’d done at the shop the other day. “Something amusing?”
“Oh, uh…yeah, no.” I opened a box containing a broken printer and outdated office supplies. “That was, um, Seth, and he said something funny.”
“Seth,” he repeated. “The guy you met through your mother.”
And through Mark and Dane too, last year. But Tucker didn’t need all those details.
“Yup.”
He arched an eyebrow. “And you guys have become friends.”
I looked him in the eye because that much was absolutely true—and obvious, based on stuff I already told him—and I wasn’t ashamed of it. Of any of it. Just sorting through it all. “Yes.”
We stared each other down as Tucker seemed to be working through something in his brain. When it didn’t seem like he was going to say whatever was on his mind, I slid a medium-sized box across to him so he could search the contents for the keep and trash piles.
“Are you and Seth…” he began in a hesitant voice. “Is there something going on with you two?”
My throat clogged as I struggled to speak. “What do you… Why would you ask that?”
He crossed his arms, now looking determined. “How long have I known you, Jake?”
“Practically our whole lives?” I straightened and glared at him. “Your point?”
“My point is, I know you.”
“Sure, and I know you too.” Flustered, I pushed a hand through my hair. “But you don’t know everything. Not this time. I—”
He made a frustrated noise. “Let me finish.”
“Okay.” My pulse was battering in my ears. I didn’t know why I was feeling so on edge. This was Tucker, and we didn’t bullshit each other. Whatever happened here, it was probably better to get it out. There had definitely been tension swirling between us for far too long.
He placed his hand on my shoulder. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”
I shrugged, my skin feeling stretched thin and my stomach like it had rocks in it. “Yeah, sure.”
“If you’re into this guy—any guy”—he took a deep breath—“I’m cool with it. I’d rather you tell me than to have to guess why you’re grinning like a dumbass at your phone.”
“No, I…” My mouth opened and closed, but no words would come out. Panic seized my chest as I briefly shut my eyes to get my pulse under control. “I’ve never…”
He squeezed my shoulder. “I know.”
That’s all he said. Just two words as he waited for me to take the reins. Explain. Confess was more like it. So fuck that. Except, what the hell was I waiting for? Things didn’t always happen on the timeline you wanted them to. This was my oldest friend, and he’d seen me through some hell.
“I’m most likely bisexual,” I admitted as I rummaged through the box in front of me, afraid to see his expression. “I’ve been attracted to guys here and there over the years, but I’ve never done anything about it.”