He went to get back on the bed, but I shook my head, and he immediately stopped. I turned off my fear, the past, and tried to live in this moment with this man I wanted in ways I’d never wanted anyone else.
I looked at him, watched him as I hooked my fingers in the waist of my underwear. I waited because I knew this was new for him—having a man in his bed.
When Jake nodded, I tugged them down. My aching cock sprang free, and another growl pulled from Jake’s chest.
I wanted him to tell me I was pretty, to touch me with care instead of rough, pushy hands and nothing more than the need to come.
“I can put them back on,” I said when he didn’t speak.
I moved to do so, trying not to feel rejected, but he rushed out, “No, don’t. I thought about this… Jesus, I jacked off thinking about it, and now I’m trying to wrap my head around the fact that it’s really happening. And you’re so fucking beautiful. I don’t think you know it. I don’t want to mess this up. I want you, but this is new to me too, and I don’t know exactly what I’m doing here. I mean, I’m pretty sure I can figure it out, but…”
I chuckled. “I don’t want it all, but we can… If you take your underwear off too, we can rub off on each other like we did before. Do you have lube or lotion?”
“Lotion.” He plucked it from the drawer and set it on the bed.
Jake pulled his underwear off, and I nearly had to bite my tongue not to mumble all sorts of crazy, embarrassing things. He was thick and hard, so hard and veiny, with this pearl of precome at the tip that I wanted to taste.
He went slowly as he sank back down on me. He held himself up with his arms so he didn’t put all his weight on me, then thrust against me. It was so simple, yet my eyes rolled back and I called out. I wrapped my arms around him, tugged him on top of me, wanting his weight. Jake gave it to me, and we kissed and rutted and holy fuck, how had I gone years without this?
“Here…hold on,” I said. “We can…” He pulled back some, and I squirted lotion into my hands and wrapped them around both our cocks together.
Jake got it from there. He thrust into my grip, our dicks rubbing together. My whole body felt sensitive, like it was buzzing, and the buzz grew more and more and more until my body was tight and the world exploded behind my eyelids. My orgasm slammed into me, and I cried out as I came, shooting all over my chest.
I opened my eyes to see Jake strain on top of me, muscles corded in his neck as his body tensed, his cock spasmed, and he shot his release on me too.
“Oh my God. I think I’m going to die,” he said, and I felt invincible. I pulled him down on top of me, come and lotion making things messy, kissing him and savoring the feel of his weight.
Jake looked at me, brushed his thumb over my cheek. “Fuck, I like you. A lot,” he said softly.
“I like you a lot too.”
“I’ll clean you up.” He pulled away and got a wet washcloth, wiping us both down before asking, “Do you want to wear anything to sleep?”
“No.”
He nodded, turned out the light, and climbed back into bed with me. I was like an octopus, all over him, arms and legs, and soaking it in. Jake didn’t complain. He held me tightly, and we went to sleep.
22
Jake
What are you up to? Seth texted, beating me to the punch. I had gotten off work, showered, and drove to the restaurant, thinking about the fact that we hadn’t checked in all day. Strange that talking to him frequently had become my new normal.
Was just about to text. I’m waiting for Mom at Angelo’s Pizzeria. The one near your apartment. Want to join us?
Bummer, I can’t. I’m still at Rose City, helping the activity director brainstorm ideas for a makeup class I might run for the residents.
Sounds fun.
Right? Want to come over after your dinner?
I’d love to.
Perfect.
Does my guy need a cuddle session?
Shit, why had I written that? “My guy” sounded too…relationship-y. When there was a long pause, I wanted to take it back immediately.
Sorry, that just came out. I don’t want to overstep or assume anything.
I liked it. Is that okay to admit? See you soon.
“I love seeing that smile,” Mom said, sliding in the booth across from me.
I felt a blush crawl over my cheeks. “Thanks,” I mumbled.
I had been so wrapped up in my text with Seth that I hadn’t even noticed her enter the restaurant. Damn, I hated being off my game.
And yeah, okay, I’d admit I was smiling a lot more, and it had everything to do with an adorable guy I could not seem to stop thinking about. Seth and I had seen each another most nights the past two weeks, and we had gotten pretty good at making out, using our hands to explore and get the other off. It was so easy and comfortable with him, and stripped down to our most basic urges, nothing had ever felt hotter to me.
I loved how whenever I took the reins, Seth melted into me, trusting me to bring him pleasure even though I was as new to all this as him. He trusted me to provide that release for him in a safe way, and it made me feel like the king of the world.
Kissing him had definitely become one of my favorite things—along with simply talking and holding him—and I had never felt that way about anyone before.
Still, I didn’t want to get in over my head. I had already given myself away in that text. Truth was, we hadn’t exactly spelled out what we were doing—besides admitting we liked each other—but I figured maybe we should and soon. I never really wanted to date anyone, but I thought maybe I did want to date him, except I didn’t want to freak him out. Or myself. Christ. This was heady enough. Maybe laying down some ground rules would work, so neither of us got hurt.
When I finally got my wits about me, I noticed Mom was wearing a deeper lipstick shade than usual and a pretty blue shirt that brought out her eyes. I didn’t know what that meant—maybe that she was coming into her own. “You look nice, Ma.”
“Thanks, honey.” Her eyes lit up as she enjoyed the compliment. It was nice seeing her more confident. She reached for my hand across the table and squeezed. “Who were you texting with? Seth?”
I looked away. “Yeah.”
She studied me as if waiting for me to say more, so maybe it was time to bite the bullet. She was my mom, after all, and we had been through the wringer together.
“I need to tell you something,” I said as the server delivered a basket of bread and ice waters with lemon. I welcomed the momentary distraction as I lifted the glass and drank the cool liquid to soothe my parched throat. I’d already told Tucker, and Mom should be a piece of cake, right? So why did it feel so huge? Probably because there was this small part of me that was afraid she wouldn’t get it or approve. Christ, I felt like a little kid all over again.
“Is everything okay?” she asked in an alarmed tone. “You look a bit nauseous.”
Sloshy stomach for the win. “I’m okay. Just a little nervous.”
“Then it’s better to get it out,” she said as the server returned to take our pizza order, which Mom quickly gave. We always got the same thing—pepperoni and mushroom. “No matter what it is, we’ll get through it. We always have.”