How I’ll get through tonight is a mystery, but staying busy will keep my mind off Damon. It’s not that I hate him. I could never hate someone I love, but loving him isn’t enough.
The club is bustling, the band is happy, and the VIP lounge is taken care of. There are so many staff members seeing to the needs of our guests, it’s wasteful. The payroll must be astronomical.
When I get home, I find Em waiting inside with several bottles of wine.
“Is this a light crying night that requires a chardonnay, or do we need to go for the heavy stuff like a merlot or a cabernet?” she asks.
“Let’s go straight for the merlot. How many bottles did you bring?”
“After seeing Damon, I bought three bottles of everything.”
“That should get us started,” I try to joke, but break into sobs.
For the first time in over a decade, I trade places with Em. She cradles me against her bosom while I cry my eyes out. I sob until there are no tears left. We sit in silence until she asks me to explain.
“Mara happened.” I tell her the story.
“Are you sure he kissed her? I just don’t think Damon would do that.”
“Are you siding with him?”
“No, but that just doesn’t seem like Damon.”
I sagged against the sofa back. “You’re right, she kissed him. He didn’t initiate it, and if I’m honest with myself, I don’t even think he enjoyed it. He actually backed away.” I finish my glass and pour another. “But it wasn’t even the kiss that had me so upset; it was the look that sealed the deal. Do you remember when you told me if a man cautions you about himself, then you should listen to his warnings? Damon warned me again and again, and I didn’t listen. He told me he didn’t have a heart to give, and I didn’t believe him. I was so convinced that I had a heart big enough for both of us. What was I thinking?”
Em holds me in her arms, where my tears had soaked her T-shirt.
“I’m so mad at him,” she says. “It’s taking everything in me to stay here and not go knee him in the balls.”
I shake my head. “It’s not his fault. It’s mine. He was honest from the beginning. He told me he didn’t date. He told me he couldn’t offer me what I wanted or needed. He told me she’d gutted him, and she was the one, but I was so sure my love would be enough to overcome all of that. The only thing he said that wasn’t true was that he wasn’t a heartbreaker, always the heartbroken, but dammit, he broke mine.”
The tears start up again and continue throughout the night until I wake up on the couch with a pillow under my head and a blanket over my body.
I stretch to get the kinks that have settled into my back ironed out.
“Today is the first day of the rest of my life.” I climb off the couch and change into shorts, a T-shirt, and running shoes. “If it doesn’t kill me, it will strengthen me.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
The Mustang is missing when I arrive at work, and its absence comes as a relief.
Reaching into the back seat, I pick up the box of Damon’s things and take them to the top floor.
Greta greets me like always.
“Hello, Katarina. How are you today?” She smiles. “I hear the opening was a smash. You must be so proud.”
“It was a great opening, but a long weekend. Ahz was so well received by the press and the public that I’m sure it will continue to thrive.”
“Mr. Noble looked handsome at the press conference. Did you see it?”
“No, I was busy with planning, but I love that suit on him.” I think about Damon in his blue pinstripe suit, and my heart twists like a wet rag being rung dry. “Can you give these things to Mr. Noble when he gets in?”
She bends her head in question. She knows something is up, but as a professional, she doesn’t ask questions.
She takes the clothes from my hand. “He called and said he wouldn’t be in for a few days. Is there anything else you need? Anything I can do for you?”
“No, everything is okay.” I offer her a weak smile and leave for my office.
A beautiful vase of flowers sits on my desk. The envelope says, “Angel” and I know they’re from him. I collapse into my chair and stare at them.
Trevor enters my office and sits on the corner of my desk.
“Are you going to open the card, or do I have to do it?” he asks.
“I’ll open it later.”
“Hey, I know what’s going on. Em called your brother, and he told me. Are you okay?” He hops up and walks behind my chair. His hands go straight to my shoulders to massage the stress away. “Do we need to kick his ass?”
“I knew what I was getting into. If anyone needs an ass-kicking, it’s me. Damon is a good man, and I don’t want people judging him over our breakup.”
Trevor studies my face before leaving me alone.
I turn the envelope over and open it.
Katarina,
I never set out to hurt you. I adore you and can’t imagine life without you in it. Please talk to me.
Damon
He thinks I left because of the kiss. Pulling out my phone, I send the hardest text of my life.
Damon,
Thank you for the flowers. I’m not ready to face this situation head-on. Give me time. Let’s meet in a couple of weeks. How about Anthony Haywood’s at Ahz on the third? I’ll make the reservations. I hope you’re okay.
Kat
My phone pings with an incoming message.
Kat, I’m relieved to hear from you. You don’t understand how important you are. While I don’t want to wait that long, I’ll respect your wishes.
Yours,
Damon
I trace my finger over the word yours. Too bad that’s not true; he was and never will be mine.
For the next few hours, Trevor and I plan, and when I return to my office at noon, I find Greta setting lunch on my desk.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m delivering your lunch. It’s what I do.” She gives me a don’t-mess-with-me look and leaves.
I pull into the garage today and see his parking spot empty again. Every day gets a little easier. The pain is still profound, but I cry less.
The unmistakable rumble sounds behind me, so I run to the elevator. If I can get inside and push the close button, I won’t have to see him. I know seeing him will crush me. As I rush to the elevator, he climbs out of his car.
“Good morning, Katarina.” He calls after me. “How’s your day going?”
It was going fine until you sucker-punched me in the stomach by showing up this morning.
He slides into the elevator and pushes the button for my floor and his.
A smile wavers on my lips. “Good morning, Mr. Noble. I hope you have a great day.”
His eyes widen. “I asked you how your day is going.”
Despite the dark circles under his eyes, he’s still handsome, and it hurts to look at him.
“It’s just beginning, so it would be premature to say.”
The elevator stops, and I bolt as fast as I can. Standing near him is more than I can handle. The scent of him takes me to places my memory can’t visit.